Hi,
I am reading the posts from and to Sherry and trying to take them in and apply them to me.
I did so great through October and then in November I lost tiny bits of weight and then gained. So now I'm basically about where I was a month ago. I am still in ONE-derland and I'm happy about that but I am not progressing and it is because I've been having this battle with myself. Slide a little, pull back a little... that's how it goes. I didn't walk Mon or Tues. Then I walked yesterday and felt worlds better. But then, after a good breakfast and a good lunch, I ate a whole row/sleeve of Girl Scout thin mints on the way home (which is like a 5 minute drive). I lost that battle.
On the good side, I had some leftover delicious food from going out to dinner a few nights ago with some people from work... I was going to throw the leftovers away (saying to myself "having it once was bad enough... you don't need to have it again") but I didn't actually throw it away. When I got home I took it out, thought about adding some to my brown rice... then not... then getting a spoon to have a "taste"... then not... then telling myself to throw it away... then pausing... it was this crazy battle between me and the styrophome container on the counter... so finally I just yelled inside myself (like a battle cry) and quick, grabbed it, and threw it in the garbage, and smushed it down! I won that battle.
I remember why I started FS. It is my 40th birthday present to myself. I do want that gift. I may have to fight small battles in my kitchen... and in the world... but I WILL win the overall fight. I will have that gift. I called my friend last night to talk about something unrelated but by the end of the conversation she, a personal trainer, made an appt to come here next week and get me started. When I started Phase 4 I was supposed to start weight training and I didn't. So she will help me. That was a positive step. I don't want this few months of holiday season to be a typical same old-same old for me... where I slide... and gain... and give up. I really want this one to be different. I am making a scrapbook of my progress and I think I'd better add in a bit about this struggle so I can remember and learn from it. I hope I continue to hold steady and take it one day... one meal...one hour, at a time and not give in. I still have lost 26 or more pounds. That's mine and I'm keeping it.
I wrote all of this to really help myself sort it out. Thanks for reading. Thanks for your endless support. I think I will try to find a way to post more often so I can keep myself from drowning. Sherry, I hope this helps you too in some way. Your post sure helped me. It helped me say "hey, That's me!" and "ok, lets face the music here."
Have a great day everyone. Be strong!