You know someone is attracted to you, maybe even ... asked you out ...but ... because you just didn't possess that high level of confidence with your current weight ... you turned him down .... For so long I never understood what a man would want from a fat girl like me besides sex, or money ... or maybe a cool personality (but not my body) so I steered clear of any form of a relationship- and I do my best to avoid men who have interest in me. But recently... (Story for those who like to read ALOT below ... )
Sunday night ... there was a guy (security in my office building) who says Hi everyday I pass ... being polite ... I reciprocate ... but walk swiftly by him ... until I locked the safe to my department before the door was shut... So I go down ... and of course ... on a day and time that I NEVER work 9pm he's on guard. I walked in the door ... he literally jerked out of his chair ... (I'd like to think because ... he was happy to see me ... but I think I caught him in a moment of an "on duty" nap) .. but I told him the situation, he stared in my eyes the entire time ... handsome man ... made me nervous ... he made a few calls to our corp. off. ... still staring the entire time ... He couldn't find the access code to the safe ... I gave him my ext. told him to call if he came up with something, and I'd go upstairs to call my Spvrs to see if they knew ... He smiled ... I called down and told him the situation was handled and thanked him for his help ... I cut him off ... said good night ... I come down the elevator (building practically empty ... he knew what floor I was on ... and there is surveillance in the elevators) ... I step out ... and who comes out of the security office???? ... uggggggggggggggggggggh ... I get on my cell phone (not talking to anyone) so he won't speak to me ... that didn't work ... he asked if he could walk me out ... I say ... "I'm fine thank you" ... He says "It's dark out there ... I insist" ... So we are walking ... and he starts the small talk ... get to my car ... he's still talking ... I'm sitting in the car ... he's still talking ... then asks me if I work again next Sunday .. I said not likely I work during the weekday ... I cut him off again ... told him to have a nice night ... he gave up ... ... then, I went home feeling like such an idiot ... He was so sexy ... he even had a job ...
I just don't want anyone to like me while I'm fat ... anyone ever felt this way ... my case is extreme - I don't even date ... but any similarities?