I keep getting told to register myself on one of these big beautiful women sites... but why should I have to? And what happens when i've lost my weight? I want someone to love me for me!
One day...
Kate...wow. I'm shocked that someone like you would have my problem. You look so cute in your pic and are WAY smaller than I was/am. There should be some sort of dating support forum on here. I'm glad that Madame posted this topic.
I agree with some of the stuff I see being mentioned here.
Why do we have to 'identify' as a fat person. We are a person, not a 'size'. But, at the moment, size is part of what/who we are.
Frustrating as ****, isnt' it. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I have had my fair share of relationships, all throughout my years of being overweight. MOST of the ones that seemed to just happen naturally were the ones where I met them, and through getting to know them, it developed into a relationship. The 'blind date' kind, they don't go as well. Because the date always expects the 'dream' in their mind, whatever that might be. And hey, to be FAIR.. I do too? Does everyone else have an idea in their mind of who they'd like to see if they met a man on a blind date? I think we are realistic, Tom Cruise isn't going to likely show up, but still.. we can hope, and I think we do, to some degree.
One thing I don't like is this. These days in all of the political correctness of the world, which in some ways has gone a bit nuts, in my opinion... it is STILL okay to be mean, rude, inconsiderate, unkind, not hire, etc etc a person because they are FAT. I know, in a perfect world, we'd all love each other and accept. They assume because you're heavy, you go home and just chow down all night long, and never move your big butt off of the couch. I have never in my life eaten a whole carton of eggs for breakfast, and a loaf of bread. My 145 pound husband usually eats MORE than I do.
Okay, anyway, I seem to have gotten off track.. sorry for the rant. hahaha
My point is.. there are some guys who just are who they are. They don't "prefer" over weight, nor not prefer. Sometimes, they are just less critical, and accepting. The thing that I have noticed that seems to make the difference is, confidence. if you feel confident, you will reflect that. If you feel "oh I'm so horrible to look at" (which I have felt, at times) then it is reflected in your body language. I think THIS more than anything, is the thing that holds us back.
I do not feel ready for bed so I thought I would share. My 'date' last night was a weird time, but it inspired me to try and find someone who would be fun. So I went on Craigslist, and posted a little ad that (I felt) represented me accurately, and went about my Sunday. I thought I might get a response or two, but not more than five. Can you imagine my astonishment, then, I when I checked my email and had 42 replies? Granted, a lot of them will not be interested after they see my full-body picture, but just the fact that my personality and interests alone could garner such a response was enheartening enough.
So I guess just be yourself and the rest will fall into place! True beauty comes from within. When are we nosy girls going to get an update?!
OP you are gorgeous. I noticed this even before this post so I'm not just saying it to be nice!
anyway, I can somewhat relate. I felt unworthy of going to clubs (still do) because I felt fat and ugly. Some nasty drunk men made comments that I was fat one time I was at a bar and I havent stepped foot in a busy bar since. And clubbing? no way jose!
Fortunately, I have a fiance who has really helped my self esteem. I actually think I view myself as being a lot heavier than i really am so I am glad that a lot of these feelings are unwarrented.
Besides, once you lose weight and become even more hot, the people who rejected you will be sorry! and that will feel really good!! haha
Besides, once you lose weight and become even more hot, the people who rejected you will be sorry! and that will feel really good!! haha
Haha! I can't tell you how true this is! Not to do with weight loss in and of itself, but in a general 'becoming me' sort of way I had this happen. I was the chubby, geeky girl in high school that most of the guys would never look at. Well, I got with hubby, had kids, grew up, started taking better care of myself for awhile there and ran into one of 'those' guys that wouldn't have looked at me otherwise. There he was hitting on me, saying 'so when you gonna go out with me? You're definately not the Kim I knew in high school'. My response? Nope, I'm not the Kim you knew in high school. This Kim is laughing at you because while I would have given my right arm for your attention back then, I realize now that I don't NEED your attention, nor do I CARE what you thought of me.
May have been rude of me, but I got my point across!
haha
