I need some advice/thoughts from all you maintainers out there. Over the last few days, I've been trying to decide if I'm ready to "stop" the weight loss journey and become a maintainer like you. I realize 100% that there will be basically no difference in how I live, eat, exercise, etc., so it's really a mental thing for me. In other words, I'm not going out and buying a bacon double cheeseburger tomorrow, but I'd like to maybe have a slice of pizza on my birthday next week and be completely okay with it.
I picked 140 lbs as my goal weight for all kinds of reasons, but now I feel like I'm starting to obsess about it a bit, which I don't like at all. The last 12 lbs are really getting me down. So, I think maybe it's a sign that I need to stop and begin to learn to be happy with where I am. I'm starting to think things like: "If I could just get to a total of 50 lbs lost, wouldn't THAT be great" and "Size 10 is still fat" (which I know intellectually it ISN'T, by the way!)
The point of this post, I guess, is to ask how and/or when did you decide that the actual "weight loss" part of your journey was over? Did you look in the mirror one morning and say, "Okay...I like it...onward now to maintenance" or what? Kidding, but I think/hope you get the point.
I'm 33 yrs old, 5'4", fairly athletic (now ), and the last time my trainer did my measurements, etc., I was 15.97% body fat, which I know is on the low end of the "average/athletic" range. I don't quite trust the %, though -- I trust my trainer, but I don't know about her calipers and computer program . I say I don't trust the % because I still have quite a "pooch" belly, and I know calipers can have up to a 5% margin of error.
I know in the end it's my decision...that I have to be happy where I am, etc., but I'd really like to hear some of your experiences with making the *mental* decision to shift gears into maintenance.
Thanks.
Last edited by LovesBassets; 08-22-2005 at 08:14 PM.
Hi Kate and welcome to Maintainers! Congratulations on your weight loss! Please stick around and join in with us regardless of whether you decide to maintain or keep going. Because the #1 most important thing is to maintain the weight that you've already lost, right?
You asked a great question about 'deciding' when to maintain. And when I thought about it, I realized that I never decided -- it just kind of happened. See, my original goal weight was 160, simply because that was the lowest I had ever weighed as an adult (I now weigh less than I did in junior high school ). When I got to 160, I knew that I wasn’t done so kept going and ended up at 135 for several reasons. First, my body simply told me that it was done losing at that point. No more weight was coming off. No matter what I did (and do) the lowest I’ve ever been is 132.5. At one time I wanted to get to my ‘half of me’ weight of 128.5 but I’m now convinced that it ain’t ever happening!
Secondly, my body fat % - like yours – ranged between 14 and 16%. It didn’t make a lot of sense to go lower to a nonsustainable BF. At one point I managed to get to 12.5% but that took 90 minutes of cardio per day and no more than 1200 calories, which just isn’t livable in the long-term.
Finally, I had made it down to size 4 and it’s hard to go smaller than that (who would have thought it possible to go from not being able to find clothes big enough to not being able to find clothes small enough in one year??? )
So I never decided on 135 as my goal - it just kinda ended up that way. Of course I’d like the scale to go lower! Who wouldn’t? It just isn’t happening for me. Honestly, it takes a lot of thought and effort just to stay where I am, weight-wise. It’s like running on a treadmill – you have to work hard just to stay in one place. That’s what maintenance is for me -- working hard every day just to stay where I am. So I'm thrilled to be maintaining in the 135 - 140 range.
Hmmm, why not try maintenance for a while? Practice, as it were? You always can pick up and lose another ten pounds later on if you decide that you’re not where you want to end up. But really, it sounds to me like you’re just where you should be.
So pull up a chair, put your feet up, and welcome to the beautiful world of maintenance!
Not long ago I had similar feelings and decided to begin maintainance even though I'd not reached my ultimate goal of 135. I was down to the last 12 pounds too and it just wasn't happening. Quite frankly, I was mentally exhausted from checking the scale week to week. But, I knew that my lifestyle wasn't going to change. So, I just made up my mind that I would continue on but without the expectation of losing weight. After a few weeks of maintaining I became more comfortable in my skin. 145 wasn't so bad - but it wasn't where I wanted to be either. So what used to be my last 12 pounds are now my FIRST 12 pounds. Sometime during my maintainence break my brain caught up with my body and I was able to put how far I had come on the back burner and concentrate on how much further I needed to go. It really was like starting again with the same drive and determination that I'd had in the very beginning. It gave me an opportunity to really evaluate my situation. Without the pressure of losing weight I was able to consider what weight (or size, actually) that I'd not only like to be but that I can sustain with a fair amount of ease given my current lifestyle. In the end, I decided to lower my goal weight to 120. But, I am keeping an open mind and will see how I feel at various stages between here and there. And I'm not in any hurry. Like I said, taking a breather from trying to lose weight gave me an appreciation for where I am. I am content and, while I do want to push towards a lower weight, I no longer feel the need to beat myself if takes a long time (and I expect it to take a long time!).
Thank you both for responding! Meg, I checked out your album and you have done such FANTASTIC work! Jawsmom, you hit it right on the head -- THIS is the *mental* thing I was trying to put into words (quoting you): "I just made up my mind that I would continue on but without the expectation of losing weight." It's all about the "expectation" for me! I need to understand what am I working toward. Like I said, my lifestyle isn't going to change once I switch to maintainence, but I need my BRAIN to switch into a different expectation mode.
You've both given me a lot to think about...and I'm still thinking . I like the idea of "practicing maintainence" -- that's an excellent idea! And then, like you both said, I can see if I want to lose any more later.
I've done some more thinking about my goals, too. And I'm a bit shocked at myself (but not one bit surprised, knowing myself as well as I do) because my goals were/are based largely on the dreaded word "should." As in: "Well, I should be a size 8 because that's 'normal'" and "I should be 145 lbs minumum because that's within the 'average' range for my height."
So, yeah, I have some mental work to do here to figure things out. But I think -- this week, at least -- I'll be a maintainer-in-training.
Thanks again! And I'd still love to hear anyone else's "when to stop" experiences, too.
I'm not a maintainer, I just lurk in this forum for advice on how to keep the weight off in the long run.
I've lost 22 pounds over 2 years, and maintaining that weight loss gives me confidence that I will maintain further weight loss. If I had to choose between losing the next 28 pounds in three months and then regaining, or losing it over three years and keeping it off, well, you know which choice is better.
Maybe, since you just dropped a size, you could hang out at your current weight for a few months. Think of it as a maintenance test. Buy yourself a few new outfits, eat a few more calories, and see if you can keep yourself at your new lower weight. You'll get two benefits. First, you'll form habits that will be good for life-long maintenance. And second, by maintaining for a while, you'll know how many fewer calories and how much more exercise you'll need in order to lose more weight.
Good luck to you. We have similar stats. I'll keep you in mind.
I've lost 22 pounds over 2 years, and maintaining that weight loss gives me confidence that I will maintain further weight loss.
Excellent point, TBJ. I *forgot* (sorta) that the first 25 lbs came off between Aug. 2002 and Aug. 2003. I then moved to England, and fell off-track a bit. But I -- shockingly -- didn't gain a pound in the 18 months I was there...although I did go back up a size, so I guess it was a muscle loss + fat gain kind of thing. So I suppose that could be considered a maintenance test, too. Not PERFECT maintenance, but I good start. So, you're 100% right...keeping it off for a period of time gives you confidence that you can keep it off for life. And actually, when I got back on the wagon again (when I moved back to the States), my initial goal was simply to not gain weight. And I ended up LOSING. Which is kinda cool.
I like the way you put it! Thanks!
- Kate
Last edited by LovesBassets; 08-23-2005 at 11:45 AM.
Like Meg said, it just kind of happened for me too. When I started out I set my goal for 150 lbs. but when I got there I knew that wasn't it for me and my body agreed. I just kept doing what I was doing and eventually my body settled at my current weight on it's own. I've since relaxed a bit on my ridgid diet plan and have been comfortably maintaining without an extraordinary amount of effort. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I truly enjoy the foods I eat, and have accepted exercise as a permanent part of my life and actually look forward to it.
I agree that you should "practice" maintenance for a while. Since this is something that you're going to be doing for the rest of your life, you might as well get comfortable with it. Then maybe something similar to what Jawsmom said will happen, you'll be able to look at losing the rest of it as starting from a new beginning.
No matter what you decide, just know that you've done a fabulous job so far and have much to be proud of. Congratulations and good luck!
I initially picked a goal weight of 135 because it was the last weight I remember comfotably maintaining for a while as an adult. When I got there I was really disapppointed in the way I looked. At that point, the number on the scale was fairly meaningless. I'd achieved my goal, but my body wasn't my goal body. For me, it took a radical change in the way I ate and exercised to change that, although there was little change in scale weight. I maintained at 135 for about 3 years but still felt chubby, so about a year ago I started to lose again. Although maintaining at under 120 is a lot harder, I'm much happier with the way I look and feel.
I think you have to assess how you feel about your body and your lifestyle to decide what your goal should be. It may change over time. Try maintaining where you are and see how it feels.
You ladies are great! Thanks so much for all your wisdom. I knew I came to the right place !
Since many of you said your *bodies decided* when to stop, here's a question: Does the elusive "set point" for your body weight actually exist? Just curious.
Thanks again, and thanks for making me feel welcome!
WHen I was "stuck" at 135, I really did believe that. But I think it was my head that had the set point. When I really cleaned up my eating, I started losing again. There may be a biological set point where your body wants to be, but for me that's always higher that I want it to be. Since my trend was to just keep getting fatter, who knows where that set point would have been?
For me, 135 was a very easily maintainable weight, so yes, maybe that was one set point. Easy means I exercised daily, ate carefully, and could splurge twice a week. Under 120 may be another set point, but it's not so easy. I exercise daily (lifting and cardio) but can only have one small treat a week. I'm hungry fairly often, so I know my body wants to be at a higher weight, even though this is a healthy weight for me (I'm only 5'3"). I think having been obese or even overweight messes up whatever set point chemistry (see Meg's articles about leptin levels) previously existed in our bodies.
Like Mel I'm ''stuck'' at 145 and I don't like it. I've been here since January fluctuating between 145 and 148, which is really good and I'm a size 8, which I like but I'm not totaly satisfied with my ''look''... So, Mel, since I know YOU can do it, I am going to go down a bit more now. I don't have a magic number, but I'll know when I get there...
We probably do have a set point like Mel said we just have to push through it to get passed it... I bet ya Mel that after a year or maybe more of maintaining 120 your body won't constantly be battling you to add more weight... I'm looking forward to find that out...
I don't know if I believe there is a set point or not. I do believe that there is a point the body will settle at, if the lifestyle choices and basic biochemistry do not change--the point where calories in equals calories out. But either side of that equation can change, either through what we chose to eat, how we chose to move/exercise, or changes our bodies undergo as time passes (pregnancy, menopause, illness, etc). Many of these variables are under our control, at least to a large extent, but some are not. When I made lifestyle choices I was comfortable with at some point that came into equillibrium with my physiology and my weight loss stopped and maintenance began. That may be a set point, but then again, I can make different lifestyle choices and change my weight again (well, after the baby comes anyway!).
Where to stop? Well, some of us needed to go farther than our initial goal to feel comfortable with our bodies, some of us didn't need to quite get there. The initial weight loss goal can serve as a strong motivator while you're losing, but I'm a strong believer that the initial goal shouldn't somehow turn into a punishment at maintenance. I'm still thinking about Brenda's note on the August thread:
Quote:
I guess, we all started this weight loss, working out, being healthier journey so we could enjoy life, not so we could have one more thing to beat ourselves up about.
My personal belief as far as the 'set point' theory - is that if you remain at a certain weight for a long enough period of time, your body gets accustomed to being at that weight. At least, that's what's worked for me, personally.
Back in 1990, when I was 265 pounds, all I wanted was to be a size 16 or 18 and be able to shop outside of Lane Bryant (keep in mind for you young'uns out there that there is a LOT more variety in plus size clothing choices nowadays than there was then - what classy fat clothes there were, were very pricey if you could find them at all!). We're all human - I think our personal goals change with time. Right now my 'comfy weight range' is between 145-150. At 5'4" that probably sounds terribly fat to most ordinary folks...but I can fit in a size 4 in most jeans (since I have a 'bubble butt' though, Seven for all Mankind jeans are a bit of a squeeze!) and a small top (for blouses that button up in front, I have to go to a medium since I'm a 32DD, as I just found out when I went in for my first bra fitting in five years... ). If I cut my calories WAY down and kicked up my exercise (although I go to the gym a minimum of seven times a week, plus horseback riding, etc, so I don't see how I could DO any more exercise!) I could probably get down to 135, but it's just not that important to me. I enjoy life, I feel great and comfortable in my body, I don't obsess about food and eating 24 hours a day as I used to (I would definitely classify myself as a recovered compulsive overeater/binge eater...in retrospect, what worked for me was finding other hobbies to replace 'recreational eating').
About the set point, it's been my personal experience that every 15 pounds, my body tends to stay at that weight. At 180, 165, 150, and 135, I don't lose or gain easily.
This is a wonderful and enlightening thread. As you can see in my sig ... I'm getting close (again). My original goal was to stay under 130 but I still have uncomfortable flab that makes dressing (the way I like to) difficult.
I've learned new things about losing, maintaining and gaining by this last ... blip ..
I just wanted to say that I appreciate what you've all said here.
Need advice: When to "stop"
I realize 100% that there will be basically no difference in how I live, eat, exercise, etc., so it's really a mental thing for me. In other words, I'm not going out and buying a bacon double cheeseburger tomorrow, but I'd like to maybe have a slice of pizza on my birthday next week and be completely okay with it. 
maybe it's a sign that I need to stop and begin to learn to be happy with where I am. I'm starting to think things like: "If I could just get to a total of 50 lbs lost, wouldn't THAT be great" and "Size 10 is still fat" (which I know intellectually it ISN'T, by the way!) 
), and the last time my trainer did my measurements, etc., I was 15.97% body fat, which I know is on the low end of the "average/athletic" range. I don't quite trust the %, though -- I trust my trainer, but I don't know about her calipers and computer program 
Please stick around and join in with us regardless of whether you decide to maintain or keep going. Because the #1 most important thing is to maintain the weight that you've already lost, right? 
). When I got to 160, I knew that I wasn’t done so kept going and ended up at 135 for several reasons. First, my body simply told me that it was done losing at that point. No more weight was coming off. No matter what I did (and do) the lowest I’ve ever been is 132.5. At one time I wanted to get to my ‘half of me’ weight of 128.5 but I’m now convinced that it ain’t ever happening!
) 
It just isn’t happening for me. Honestly, it takes a lot of thought and effort just to stay where I am, weight-wise. It’s like running on a treadmill – you have to work hard just to stay in one place. That’s what maintenance is for me -- working hard every day just to stay where I am. So I'm thrilled to be maintaining in the 135 - 140 range. 
(but not one bit surprised, knowing myself as well as I do) because my goals were/are based largely on the dreaded word "should." As in: "Well, I should be a size 8 because that's 'normal'" and "I should be 145 lbs minumum because that's within the 'average' range for my height." 
