I bought Dr. Phil's book over 6 months ago and started reading it. Something happened and one day I didn't pick it up and now it has been 6 months since I had originally planned to change my life.
I know where my weight needs to be according to my height and frame, but I just haven't been able to set the changes and stick to them. I keep thinking, "Well, I guess I just haven't hit my rock bottom yet. I must not be totally disgusted with my body." And then I think. Yes I am. Yes I AM!
So why I am not motivated to stick with the program, a program... any program. (Program anything that constitutes a life style change for me) I have 2 kids who are thin and healthy. I watch what they put in their mouths and I make sure they are receiving the nutrition they need without the excess junk. My husband and I on the other hand are a different story. We are trying to do better during the day (breakfast & lunch meals) with our eating habits. We are both on the road all day, so eating out is almost necessary. I am a realtor and he is a field tech for the railroad.
I have started trying to work from home more so that I stay away from the fast food places and so far that is working, but I feel like I am not working enough now. uggh. My husband cooks most of the evening meals at home since we can't depend on my job being over by 5pm each day. Some nights I don't even get home until 7 or 8 pm.
I feel like I am about to have a major lifestyle change in every aspect.... but waiting for it to happen. How do I make it happen?
I think the mistake a lot of us make (including myself) is that we assume there will be some grand "AHA!" moment, and then we'll be dedicated and able to make a change without any conflict or problem. We'll stick to the plan perfectly, we'll be a success in every way, and the pieces will all just fit. Only once this "AHA!" moment happens will we be able to lose our weight and adopt a healthier lifestyle.
But that's not true. The only person that can make a major life change in your life is YOU. You feel like you're about to have a major lifestyle change . . . but what's stopping you? Is it a fear of failure? Is it a fear of letting go of whatever comfort food gives you? Is it a fear that you'll lose your ability to choose fattening foods to eat? Is it just fear of the unknown life you will have once you're at a healthier weight?
The best starting point, I think, is to identify why you're unable to take the next action step towards a healthier lifestyle. And then, once you've identified that, you just need to decide what action step you'll take to incorporate that lifestyle change that you feel is coming, and TAKE that action step to START that lifestyle change.
You can do it! Reread the first chapter or two of the book, and really spend some time on them. I've just finished reading the book cover to cover, and I'm going back to those two chapters because I know I have a lot of work in this same area.
I re-read chapters 1 & 2 last night. I have been making a few changes and didn't realize it.
back up.... the way I am... I am one of those all or nothing people. I have this attitude in EVERYTHING in my life. If I can't have the clothes I want, I don't buy any. If I can't have the car I want I don't buy any. If I can't have the life I want... I don't bother trying to fix the one I have. If I can't have the body I want, then what difference does it make what I do to it?
I feel as if all my "houses" have to be in order for me to do this. It is as if my entire life must change in order for me to lose weight. I think this is one of my excuses not to lose weight. But I also feel that it is necessary in order for me to lose weight. Example... last week my home office was a mess... so instead of closing the door and going to prepare a decent home cooked meal, I chose to clean it and order pizza for dinner. Well, now my office is clean, so that isn't an excuse anymore. I set up a zone cleaning plan for our house, where everyone pitches in, not just me. We had a family meeting and I explained to everyone what I wanted done, how I wanted it done and why. My 2 kids groaned a bit because "here's another one of mom's plans to get our house clean and take away our play time." All I asked for was one hour a day to be put into straigtening and cleaning our house. and it doesn't all have to be done at once.... just sometime before bed. Yesterday was our first day on zone. Not everything on the list got done, but this morning the house looks 50 times better than it did last Tuesday morning. I walked through the house happy this morning. I feel like if my house is semi-clean then I don't have any excuse not to eat healthy and work out. I am working through my all or nothing clean house excuse. It made me feel good to walk into the bathroom and not have to pick up someone else's dirty clothes from last night's shower.
Today is kitchen and bath day & grocery night. I am making my menus today, preparing my shopping list and cooking dinner before leaving the house. I am replacing bad actions with positive actions. I am trying to set myself up to succeed this time.
Steelymonica: I think Hellerd is right. Instead of waiting for the epiphany that may never come, it's a matter of just deciding to do it and then doing the things we may not want to do but need to do to make it happen.
Funny: I bought the Dr. Phil book several months ago, read part of it, then it's been gathering dust on the nightstand ever since. And coincidentally, during that time, the epiphany, the life-transforming moment that I was waiting for to remotivate me, didn't happen either.
It still hasn't. But after several months of halfhearted efforts, frequent binges, and anger at myself for the weight I've regained, I got it together about a month ago and have lost 10 pounds so far. How? I think it was a gradual process of self-talk and finally giving up living in denial about my weight and how I look and acknowledging I have responsibility for all of it.
Part of it involved listing all of the things I don't like about how I feel physically now, how the extra weight makes it harder to do little things like pick stuff up off the floor, tie my shoes, jog. How I don't like shopping in the women's department, buying 2x pantyhose or hearing that "whisk whisk" noise hose make when your thighs rub together,or feeling self-conscious about the way I look to friends, family and the general public. How I don't want complications like heart disease, diabetes, sleep apnea, which are sure to come if I just continue eating myself to death.
I see people who have been consistent exercisers at the gym for years and realize that part of why they've maintained their weight is because they've consistently made good choices. I see morbidly obese people around me, relatively young folks who have to use the electric carts at the superstores because walking is too difficult, and I think, I really could be in that same condition someday if I just succumb to that urge to just give up and keep eating myself to death.
When I get those little wake-up calls (like not being able to wear 95% of what's in my closet, my favorite ring not fitting again) and want to binge away the frustration, I remind myself, Yeah, you don't like your body right now but you CAN change this. It's under your control. It won't happen instantaneously, but if you really put forth the effort consistently, it WILL happen.
When that little voice starts whispering, Oh go ahead and eat whatever you want, this one time won't hurt, I remind myself that it's a cumulative effect; all of those calories ingested and expended (or not) are what lead to the gain or the loss. I think of all the binges and bad choices, like giving up exercise, that I made over the last several months that cumulatively led to my weight gain.
When the inner brat starts whining, "Weight loss is no fun" or "I don't want to do this now," I counter it with reason. No, it'd be much more appealing to order the chicken fried steak with the gravy and mashed potatos, but what's that choice going to lead to (more weight gained, anger and disappointment at myself). I try to reframe the things I DON'T want to do as positive choices I am making to take care of my body rather than as deprivations or impositions: I will order the salad or the chicken because I want to keep losing and that's more important to me in the long run than that c-f steak that I'll forget about an hour from now.
Dr. Phil hits on this a lot: It's about making the choices that lead to the results we want (weight loss) ==
* "If you only eat right when you FEEL like it, you're going to be fat forever." When AM I going to feel like doing it? When I regain the other 50 lbs? Or the next 10,20 or 50 after that?
* "Weight is managed; it's not cured" (that's a key point for me right now as I felt like just giving up on trying to lose since I have been so bad at maintaining).
* Willpower comes and goes; it's about setting up your no-fail environment etc. to carry you through when your willpower isn't strong.
These past couple of weeks, I have been in a funk. Both in my personal and professional life. My motivation level is coming up in both. I have found you all to help keep my personal life in check and in my real estate life, I have found a mentor to pep me up about my work.
I am not very far into the Dr. Phil book, so I don't have a clue what the meal plan is like (the new me isn't skipping ahead). I am doing this step by step by step... I was thinking yesterday as I sat in a sales meeting... "everybody here sells real estate, what makes the top sellers different from the rest?" Then it came to me. They have a plan. They have a schedule. AND they stick to it. Yesterday, I heard someone say... the key to building your business is two parts.
A. Do something productive.
B. Do it consistantly.
Then I got to thinking... this can be applied to anything in my life. I had my epiphany!
I looked back over the last 6 months of my real estate business and studied the things that I had done consistantly and they are starting to pay off. So this concept works! It WORKS!
Apply this to getting my personal life and health under control and I came up with these things that I need to DO and DO CONSISTANTLY:
1. Drink water
2. Exercise
3. Grocery shop at least every two weeks so I have healthy foods at home and won't be tempted to eat out.
4. Reward myself for the goals that I achieve.
Being a "scheduler", I bought a planner for my personal & weight goals. I have started planning for my success!
Starting Over Again
