Quote:
Originally Posted by Scaletosser
Currently my only coping mechanism is food so if I need to shut down the kitchen after a day of eating well in order to stop a binge that will potentially trigger me into a longer episode of similar behavior, then thats what I'll likely continue using for the time being.
There's a different way to approach a binge instead of white knuckling through it. I used your method for a long time- try my hardest to white knuckle my way through not binge eating and try to learn as I go. Now I employ a different method, one that is recommended by the book Overcoming Overeating. I let myself binge eat. Yep, that's right. If I really need to binge to the point of having to throw food out so I won't eat it I will let myself eat. At this point I don't actually have medically defined binge-eating episodes. When I'm talking about binges I'm talking about eating when I'm not hungry or to the point where I'm uncomfortable full.
Letting myself binge eat (to me) in those situations is an act of kindness and self compassion. When it gets to that point I know that something is majorly wrong in my world. I practice self compassion and try to retrace my steps- why am I upset? What was the thought process that led to this? I try to find patterns. I let myself eat because it's a way I have of coping with something that is very disturbing to me.
In therapy learning to cope with negative feelings and self soothe in positive ways is like learning to swim. Binge eating, drinking, self harm, and other negative ways I have of self soothing are like a log floating next to me in the water. I'm learning to swim in small spurts- treading water around the log and doing my best to keep my head above water. Sometimes, though, I'm starting to drown and I need to grab on to the log. That doesn't mean that I haven't benefited from learning to paddle around the log. It just means that at this time it's too much and I have to go back to it for a moment to rest.
So instead of getting mad at myself I practice self compassion. I understand that learning to deal with my emotions and the stuff that life throws at me is going to take a long time and that I'm not perfect. I'm not so afraid of gaining weight from overeating that I will deny myself my old behaviors. If I overeat my body adjusts by making me crave exercise or not eat so much at the next meal. The body adjusts. Because I am not humiliated or ashamed because I overate I find it easy to go back afterwards. Binge eating becomes self perpetuating when you eat because you feel shame about overeating.
It's a different way to approach it than the abstinence method so I thought I would share.