I wrote about starting to love our Ugly bodies on my blog and I took photos and shared the "real, ugly" me. And now I think I will want to hide under a desk!

BUT WE HAVE START BEING REAL!!! How else will our sons and daughters know what are realistic expectations if all we show them is perfection?

Eek!!!

Aw, Melissa! What's really in the word "ugly"? It's like fear, sadness, betrayal, anger, etc. Just a label for a personal perception of a reality that doesn't extend beyond your own borders. You are absolutely and totally correct that the upcoming generations need to be fed a solid dose of reality and not what's on the screen or the phone or the pages. Sadly, unless they start looking up from those $%^&* smartphone screens, they won't get that connection with REAL people around them.

One more thought to add, cuz I saw it somewhere and I liked it. "A bikini body is just a body with a bikini on it." True dat!

I love your blog posts and I appreciate that you keep it updated! Heck maybe when I'm feeling less lazy I'll do a photoshoot too!

On a side note, wanna see the first fondant cake I ever made (and 3rd cake made ever?) haha
You are a cake-making queen!

Yes I do want to see it! I forgot to say that before - which reminds me, I need to make some mini cupcakes this weekend for an event!

And thanks. Writing helps keep me sane and it helps me sort through my demons.

Its strange, because I very often refer to my body as ugly, or other negative words and think nothing of it. But hearing you call your body ugly made me really sad. I mean, I get its like the catch phrase, but something about it was so sad. That we (women) should hate our bodies so much that we should call them ugly, when truthfully they are all beautiful.

It reminds of the countless times patients, often elderly or obese, would comment about their ugly or unattractive bodies at times when they were not fully dressed for various reasons (help with dressing or bathing). It would give me such sadness that these women (and it was nearly always women) despite their weak or ailing state, still felt shame or a sense of disgust about their "ugly" bodies... It was sad they felt the need to some how apologize or excuse their appearance, even if it was only age that changed their body, something that happens to all of us if we are fortunate enough...some even referred to their body as ugly, when it was disease that had changed their body. Just so sad...

My husband's aunt would never look at herself in a mirror. She was a very attractive, fit woman at 52. She looked FAR better than any other 50 plus year old I had met. BUT... she didn't like seeing her old self in the mirror. She literally used the bathroom in the pitch black to avoid seeing herself.

She... who was beatiful, couldn't see it.

I don't think I'm an ugly person. I think I have nice hair and a pretty face. HOWEVER, I do not have a pretty body. None of us, if we live long enough, have pretty bodies.

I can accept that my body isn't perfect. I am OK with saying my stomach and thighs are ugly - they are, but that doesn't mean I should hate myself or my body because of it.

I can't believe that you call your body 'ugly' Melissa, I actually genuinely think you look amazing, in both sets of pics! And I don't mean amazing for your age or weight or pretty face ect, I mean amazing.

You brave, beautiful woman! thank you for sharing your blog.

So BRAVE Melissa!!! Thanks so much for sharing its a wonderful reminder to LOVE yourself (body included) at all times no matter what!!

Thank you so much for posting that.

Thank you for sharing!
For what it's worth, I think you look awesome!

i don't think your thighs or tummy are ugly? you're beautiful. in the before and the afters.

i'm in my mid-40's, though, spending my entire adult life fat and have gotten used to that sort of appearance. sometimes i look in the mirror and think i'm downright hot. i had my husband take a pic of me recently in a nice matching bra and panties, and i sort of fell in love with myself. LOL

(i realise that someone half my age will have a different perspective on fat 40-something bodies. so no need to try and shame me or anyone else)

i think the trend (and i read both of those articles as well) to loving yourself as is, is f'ing awesome. and i love that you posted this in your blog. your body carries you and allows you to do amazing things, you should feed it and love it and exercise it and thank it on the daily. IMHO

Say it!!! Yeah, I agree with this

Thanks you all. I wasn't fishing for compliments, but it's nice to hear people appreciate what I did and why I did it.

I don't know why I've never, ever felt comfortable in my skin, but I certainly haven't. There have been times I've felt pretty. Maybe "a couple" of times I've felt sexy, but mostly I just feel like a work in progress and not perfect when I'm doing well, and a blob of grossness when I'm not doing well. And I don't get it!

And, I'm aware, for every single person who sees the post and thinks, "Wow! That's great!" There is at least one (probably more) who goes, "OMG, I hope I don't turn out like that when I'm older, married, have had kids... fill in the blank." And, I'm OK with that. I wouldn't have wanted to have "turned out" like me either. I would have wanted to turn out like a tall, willowy, small bones, waif type! :-)

I even remember Oprah Winfrey saying eons ago that there were people who didn't belong at the pool or beach - or didn't belong in swimsuits... something along those lines. She said it probably 20 years ago and that simple message stuck with me. It wasn't even DIRECTED at me, but I internalized it. Now, while I do go to the pool and beach, it's only because I have kids and it's cooling on hot days, but I think about that message almost every time I step out of my coverup and expose more of me than I ever do (in a tankini).

on oprah: i bet if you fed those words back to her, she would be embarrassed and say she was wrong. because she's older, too, now. thank gawd!

i always feel better about myself when i am out there exercising. i derive so much satisfaction and general well being from it. when i am not on the right track in that way, i start feeling super crappy about myself. i can be the same exact weight, and my mindset will be completely different.