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Old 05-27-2014, 10:35 AM   #31  
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I got out of the loop a bit on this thread over the weekend, but I'm not picking on Oprah. While she has become a diva, how hard what it be to stay level headed and down to earth in her status? Also... She's human, like the rest of us. She makes mistakes, but she is usually honest and will come clean too.

And I agree arctic mama on the sentimentality of the thing from tumblr. I get the gist, but it goes a tad too far... But it's the idea of loving ourselves that was important.
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Old 05-27-2014, 10:39 AM   #32  
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BBB, thank you for being so brave. I don't think I've needed to hear these words any more than I do now. I struggle so much with body image and with devaluing myself due to my looks, especially as the weather warms. I was in tears last night and couldn't sleep because of the impending summer - something that has happened every year since I was about 11 years old.

Every year I think, "maybe this will be the year that I just have it together and feel confident." It hasn't happened yet, but maybe this WILL be the year that I shake some of my self-consciousness to be able to not be so depressed every day as I get up and try to dress myself to hide my body, but not pass out from heat.
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Old 05-27-2014, 11:41 AM   #33  
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BBB, thank you for being so brave. I don't think I've needed to hear these words any more than I do now. I struggle so much with body image and with devaluing myself due to my looks, especially as the weather warms. I was in tears last night and couldn't sleep because of the impending summer - something that has happened every year since I was about 11 years old.

Every year I think, "maybe this will be the year that I just have it together and feel confident." It hasn't happened yet, but maybe this WILL be the year that I shake some of my self-consciousness to be able to not be so depressed every day as I get up and try to dress myself to hide my body, but not pass out from heat.
It's hard to believe that someone who weighs 125lbs feels this way. It's a powerful reminder to me that weightloss is not the ultimate goal and does not guarantee happiness or even better self esteem. I have found that actively countering negative thoughts about myself helps change my perception of how I look. A few kind words to the reflection in the mirror have become very powerful. I know the weight will continue to come off as I focus all my attention on building trust in myself around food and being grateful for my body as it is.
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Old 05-27-2014, 02:50 PM   #34  
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My body IS ugly. It's got cellulite-laden legs, way too much bra-fat, bat-wing arms, droopy buttocks, even chubby-knees. So yeah, UGLY.

But that doesn't make me any less of a beautiful person. After all, BODY IMAGE and SELF IMAGE are two different things.

Last edited by Beach Patrol; 05-27-2014 at 02:51 PM.
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Old 05-27-2014, 03:23 PM   #35  
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BBB, thank you for being so brave. I don't think I've needed to hear these words any more than I do now. I struggle so much with body image and with devaluing myself due to my looks, especially as the weather warms. I was in tears last night and couldn't sleep because of the impending summer - something that has happened every year since I was about 11 years old.

Every year I think, "maybe this will be the year that I just have it together and feel confident." It hasn't happened yet, but maybe this WILL be the year that I shake some of my self-consciousness to be able to not be so depressed every day as I get up and try to dress myself to hide my body, but not pass out from heat.
I'm glad it was helpful as yes, it's not just the obese that have these issues of self confidence about how we look - that's what's dumbfounding, really. We are so hard on ourselves.... so, so hard... when no one else is.
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Old 05-27-2014, 03:24 PM   #36  
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It's hard to believe that someone who weighs 125lbs feels this way. It's a powerful reminder to me that weightloss is not the ultimate goal and does not guarantee happiness or even better self esteem. I have found that actively countering negative thoughts about myself helps change my perception of how I look. A few kind words to the reflection in the mirror have become very powerful. I know the weight will continue to come off as I focus all my attention on building trust in myself around food and being grateful for my body as it is.
I'll let you know if it helps me when I actually lose some weight, although the one time I did lose the "last ten" by very excessive and unhealthy means, I did plan to keep going. I don't want to be a supermodel, I just want to NOT be chubby for once in my life, and this "set point" is not where I want to be.

Throughout the cooler months I feel pretty good with a sprinkling of amazingly confident once in a while. If I could spend my entire summer not having to get dressed, I probably would be fine - nude I'm fine, very clothed I'm fine, but semi-clothed is just the worst look on me.

There has been no amount of therapy, specialists, weight programs, RD/nutritionists that has helped me. I'm so much smarter than this, but I just can't seem to let it go. It's so frustrating.
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Old 05-27-2014, 03:26 PM   #37  
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My body IS ugly. It's got cellulite-laden legs, way too much bra-fat, bat-wing arms, droopy buttocks, even chubby-knees. So yeah, UGLY.

But that doesn't make me any less of a beautiful person. After all, BODY IMAGE and SELF IMAGE are two different things.
Ugly? GIRL... I've seen you in a bikini in previous posts. You are NOT UGLY and do NOT have an ugly body!
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Old 05-27-2014, 04:55 PM   #38  
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I find it very admirable when people find their bodies aesthetically ugly and love their bodies. I mean, the two can go hand in hand - but it is so hard in my experience anyways, esp if growing up in a family where personal value was tied to looks. That has a greater impact I find than any media influence. I grew up essentially without paying that much attention to media around me and I found that it was the way that I was raised that had the greatest impact.

BTW Berryblondeboys - ok so basically my second cake ever (if you don't count the one I made in highschool...it never left the pan)/very first fondant cake. I don't know why I randomly volunteered myself for this thing, it was such an ordeal to learn about how to construct a two layer cake that was stiff enough to hold all that fondant and UGH I got the elephant skin so I last minute panicked and added some hearts. The silver dragees were such a hassle. I don't know if I'm up for doing it again - I recently tossed the brushes that I used to line the eyes lol!




Basically very fly by the seat of my pants/learn how to make everything through Youtube ;_;
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Old 05-27-2014, 05:15 PM   #39  
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BTW Berryblondeboys - ok so basically my second cake ever (if you don't count the one I made in highschool...it never left the pan)/very first fondant cake. I don't know why I randomly volunteered myself for this thing, it was such an ordeal to learn about how to construct a two layer cake that was stiff enough to hold all that fondant and UGH I got the elephant skin so I last minute panicked and added some hearts. The silver dragees were such a hassle. I don't know if I'm up for doing it again - I recently tossed the brushes that I used to line the eyes lol!



Basically very fly by the seat of my pants/learn how to make everything through Youtube ;_;
You did an amazing job! I personally don't like working with fondant much, but man... did you pick something SUPER ambitious! No little stars or circles for you! You went with a full on face in fondant! Good for you!
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Old 05-28-2014, 12:15 PM   #40  
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Great blog post Melissa!

My goal is to learn to love my body just for being my body. That's it. Just as it is at any given moment. Not for what it looks like or doesn't look like. Not for what it can or can't do. Just plain old because it is the fleshy thing that houses my mind and my heart. It is mine for however long I get to keep it. I need to love it just for being there, just because it is a part of ME.

My body doesn't meet the standards our culture deems as "beautiful". Is my body therefore "imperfect" or "flawed" somehow? I'm going to start answering NO to that question. My body doesn't have to meet anybody's standards of beauty to earn my love. I don't have "flaws" or "imperfections". I just have pieces of me. Arms. Legs. A nose. Some boobs. Everything is always changing all the time anyway.

And just like I'm going to love my body no matter how it looks, I'm going to love my body no matter how it works. My body isn't a crossfit master. It can't run marathons. It can't run half marathons anymore either. But I'm going to love my body anyway.

Because it is me. My body is just one part of me, and it is worthy of my love and respect no matter what.

That's my goal.
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Old 05-28-2014, 04:34 PM   #41  
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Ugly? GIRL... I've seen you in a bikini in previous posts. You are NOT UGLY and do NOT have an ugly body!
You're very sweet! - but that "picture"? that was NINE years ago. Yes, my body has changed quite a bit since that 138 lb pic was snapped. But I'm not hateful toward my body. Like I said, body image & self image are two different things.

I can hate the way my body looks & still love me for who I am. I think a lot of people, women particularly, have a hard time with that. So many times I hear someone say "I would not be caught DEAD in that!" (referring to some cute outfit, or a swimsuit, etc.) I know women who refuse to go to the beach because they can't stand the thought of themselves in a swimsuit. How sad is that? I mean, they're missing out on the beauty & peace & fun of the beach because they hold their body in such high regards. Can't stand the thought that someone might look at them; make fun of them, whatever. No matter how good or bad my body has ever seemed to me, I have never let it stop me from doing the things I love - especially swimming, etc. And for that I need a swimsuit. And sometimes, just buck naked.

I understand your hesitancy to post your "real me" pic on your blog. BUT YOU DID IT. And even tho you don't like how you look, you can appreciate the fact that your body has given birth to your wonderful children. When you think back to the pain & intensity of labor, and holding your child(ren) in your arms for the first time, I bet how your body looked wasn't even a fleeting thought. And why should it be?

AND YET... we are still so very vain. And what's wrong with vanity? As long as it doesn't take over your every waking thought, I say vanity is OKAY. It's even good for you. Why should we care how we look? And why shouldn't we care how we look? It's all just part of being who we are.

~peace
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Old 05-28-2014, 04:35 PM   #42  
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Because it is me. My body is just one part of me, and it is worthy of my love and respect no matter what.

That's my goal.
THIS!!
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