tubolard - 19 days is really awesome! Way to go!!!

danzingurl - Well done on the run! Sorry you've been having trouble the last couple days. Hopefully you were able to make it today. I'm rooting for you!

mottainai - Even though the weekends aren't your difficult times, I think they still count. Hope you had a good day today! It's great that you're starting to learn coping strategies and really being inspired to keep going.

I didn't binge over the weekend, but I definitely wasn't on plan. Trying to buckle back down this week. I'm really disappointed that I keep holding myself back, but the only way to get beyond that is to keep moving forward. I'd still love to make my January goal.

Today's minor victory was that on the way home from work I was totally ready to get home and binge. I even stopped by the store and picked up some favorite binge foods. But I had mentioned to someone that I needed to rake the yard tonight (it's supposed to *snow* tomorrow, ugh), so I forced myself to do that first before it got dark. When I came in at dark, I did eat a crap binge food dinner, but didn't actually binge. And I'm announcing it now so I continue to fight it the rest of the evening.

Mottainai- thanks for the support in happy for you that you made it a few days! I hope your good streak keeps up!!

Atoms- thank you, and good luck getting through the rest of the night! Sending good thoughts your way!

I did make it today, and actually think I may be getting sick- so no appetite to fight off today.

Hope everyone has a successful week!

Boo, I'm having a bit of insomnia at the moment. Fell asleep at ten but have woken up (one AM!) and can't sleep.
Anyway, I'm still going strong here! Feeling great, actually. I had a panicky moment this morning when the bus missed my stop near the gym and instead took us to the next stop RIGHT in front of my "binge store," where I could totally tell I normally would have DEFINITELY binged, but had no choice but to skip it and deal with the anxiety another way today! I'm not even started wishing/planning for the next binge, which is pretty weird for me. I think I'll be able to handle even all my stressors this week without turning to binging! Where has this confidence come from?? Lol.

Atmos- That does not even sound like a "minor" victory to me- it sounds fantastic!! Awesome job avoiding a binge, even after buying the foods!! I hope you were able to hold strong the rest of the day! (:

Danzingurl- so glad to hear you made it today. I hope you don't get too sick, though!

Still no bingeing. I am at day 21 I think. Oh I wanted to binge so bad last night, I was soooooooo hungry , I ate 5/8 of a frozen pizza to give myself the feeling of "eating bad" even though nothing is off limits to me (I am eating smaller amounts, not cutting out certain foods) figured the calories for each slice and then gave the rest to my hubby. I have never went this long before. I am so proud of myself but so scared. Part of me is saying; just binge and get it over with, you know you will eventually. The other part of me is saying; Don't do it, you are doing so well and can continue this.

Good work those who are binge free!!
You can do it, those who are struggling, every day is a fresh start.

Hello Everyone!
it is a nice day in SoCal

in two days, it is my eat day but with this PMS... feeling tired.
can not even think about eating...
I wish I can just sleep many many hours without waking up.

9.5 miles total walk today.
I need to walk a little more but I'm already tired.

Have a good one all!

I am sufficiently shamed. I did *not* make it through the evening. But...I do know what negative feelings caused the reaction. How to get over that though, I'm not sure. But I'm determined to get through today with the wonderful encouragement I'm getting from you all. I also just signed up for my fitness pal, hoping the excitement will help kick me back into gear. Also even though I binged last night, it wasn't a huge one since I held off so late doing it.

danzingurl - Well done fighting off the binging, but I hope you feel better soon!
mottainai - That's so great that your thought pattern is starting to change about this issue and you're gaining confidence. Good luck today! You can make it!
tubolard - You're a huge inspiration, way to go! Definitely listen to your angelface self, you can keep it up.

atmos - A big hug for you!! Even though you binged, like you said, just holding off on it is a step forward anyway, as is looking back and analyzing the feelings that caused it. Way to go getting right back on track. (:

masterptr - PMS is hard for me too (was last week!). Best wishes to you!

tubolard - WOW, 21 days, so inspirational! And the way you handled the urge with pizza sounds like a great strategy. I can imagine that it gets scary to think about slipping up the longer and longer you go. You can continue!

-------------

I'm still doing well myself here. My regular appetite is pretty bad though, actually...I feel like I didn't eat enough yesterday and woke up hungry in the night. Now that I feel like I have more freedom to eat, in replacement of the binges, I'm finding that I rather don't want to. Always want what you can't have!

So, I'm going to make sure to have a very filling dinner today. Tomorrow is another danger day for me. It's basically a "perfect" day for binging, as I'm feeling like I deserve a treat after sticking to my plan for a few days + I've got free time + I will be out all day and will have lots of time to come down from the binge bloat before going home + I have an exam that I'm quite stressed out about....

I've already put some anti-enabling steps in place: scheduled myself to participate in a research study in the afternoon to take up some time and got rid of my private room reservation. Now, I just plan to eat a very filling but not guilt-inducing dinner so that I make it through the morning without planning to binge and bringing money with me.

Please please encourage me! I really don't want to give in while I'm doing so well. Y'all are all so awesome. (:

Turbolard- wow that's really amazing! I hope to get to 21 days this time around! What an accomplishment!

Atoms- thank you! Good luck getting back on track! I'm sure you can do it!

Mottainai- keep up the great work! Having a plan always helps me, I hope your plan keeps you on track! I'm happy to see you have been doing so well lately!

I'm still not feeling 100%... Kind of low on energy- I didn't even work out this morning, but at least I'm getting back on track food-wise. I've still got around 900 calories left for the day and am not even slightly hungry- but once I start feeling "safe" is when I'll probably binge. So- while I'm not feeling any compulsion toward food I'm trying to stay on my toes!

Good luck everyone!

PMS controlled me today
ate 3800 calories...
that is 700 more than what I ate on my eat day.

mottainai - Thanks for the encouragement! I definitely kept it in mind today. Planning ahead and getting rid of some of your enabling should help keep you on track. We're rooting for you!

danzingurl - Thanks! And good luck making it through your illness.

masterptr - It's annoying how much power hormones can have over us. But as you have in your signature, every day is another new day. Good luck getting back into the swing of things!

I went back this morning and filled in my binge as best as I could remember. The my fitness pal has a little blurb at the end of the day where it says something like if every day is like today, you'd weigh x pounds in 5 weeks. Well, the binge number had me gaining about 4 lbs in those 5 weeks. It really put things into perspective and motivated me!

So, no binging today. Just enjoying a hot chocolate before bed as big snowflakes fall from the sky.

Atmos- WAY TO GO getting right back on track. I loved the last sentence of your post. Hot chocolate and watching the snow, sounds so peaceful! (:

Danzingurl- great job staying vigilant! Sorry you're still a bit unwell. Take it easy and get yourself better!

----

I had an awesome counseling session yesterday! We talked a lot about my fears of letting go of binge eating, and also about the way I am so negative and harsh on myself. I also had a big dinner and let myself snack on ingredients while cooking, lol, and then did a lot of relaxing by taking a bath and then just lying in bed reading before sleeping early. All in all, I'm feeling quite good. No binge in sight for today. Wow, that means almost a whole week!!

atmos,
Thank you for your encouragement...
woke up after 10 hours of sleep all swollen.
drinking coffee to wake up and assess the damage from yesterday.
update- went out and walked really slow... 8 miles.
5.5 more on the elliptical.
done for the day.

^^ i hate when i wake up swollen after binge. sometimes i fear that people will notice my swollen face because if i eat normally my face is ok, but after just one binge i can hold to abnormal quantity of water.
i've been binging almost all week except past two days. i'm mentally and physically exhausted. ..just waiting for this damned october to pass. sometimes i wonder what normal life is like...cause i haven't had normality in a few years...it's like i'm damned or something, and not just me but my whole family.
"what they call the grind and struggle...i call it life" by PittBull ...couldn't describe it better

masterptr - Your exercise amazes me, lol. Hope you have a better day today!!

I am struggling today! Or at least I was. And not with actually binging, but just with wanting to binge to deal with my anxiety but having to deal with it another way instead. I also have ended up consuming a significant amount of unplanned snack calories, but I'm trying very hard not to judge myself for it.

Actually, I had a victory moment to share: As I've mentioned, I'm not bringing my wallet with me so I can't binge while on campus. So today, had no money, couldn't binge. But then, I participated in a research study thing and got $20....but the awesome thing is, I didn't even REALIZE that I now had the potential to binge until a couple hours later!! And then, even once I realized it and thought about the option, I had zero desire to go through with it. Even though the situation is kind of ideal for a binge, I have the confidence that I can make it through my anxiety the rest of the day without using binging, enough so that I honestly and truly don't want to take the bad consequences of binging that would come with the anxiety relief. This is like a serious first for me!

Love to all the rest of you!

Atoms- great job getting back on track it's been snowing on me also! And thank you- I'm feeling 100 times better today!

Masterptr- how do you fit that much exercise in w day!? You're amazing...

missunshine- I hope life throws you an easy streak soon! Good luck with all of your struggles- I'm sending good vibes your way!

Mottainai- it sounds like you have been making some incredible progress! I hope that you can find the strength to make it through the rough day you're having!

Another day us almost over for me. I've made myself a new calorie cycling plan that I think will help. For a while I was trying to stay "between 13-1800" calories per day, but when I reached 1300 I'd just keep eating up ton1800 and by then I was having fun stuffing my face and would often binge. Now I have set up an exact limit for each day- eating more/less just isn't an option. I seem to do a lot better with a plan. For example, today is a 1300 day, and I'm still hungry- but I know that tomorrow is an 1800 day, so I can live without eating until tomorrow. We'll see how it works!