Hi,
I have thought along time about how I would write this thread, so I am just going to start. I have been struggling with my weight since I was a child. I lost 150 lbs when I was 35. I was probably close to 200 when I graduated high school and am now 50 and over 300lb. When I look back at all the years of being heavy and all of "life" I have missed out on I am disappointed
in myself BIG TIME. I am heart-broken and ashamed when I think that "if" I could of kept the weight off when I was 35 what a different life I may of had now? I am taking medication, three types, all brought on by the extra weight-diabetes, high blood pressure and chlosterol. Also, I have let relationships go, isolated myself, keep a cluttered house, yard, car and (head). When I look back on my life, I think it was pure madness not to have gotten my head out of my a** and LIVE!
I, also, was sooo naive about the prejudice that comes with being this heavy. I think I knew it all along but there have been a few instances that have really "brought me to my knees". I went through the same drive-thru a couple times and the girl said to her co-worker that I looked like a Walrus. My
neck does look pretty hideous. I know that I am far from the only one out there but I have been kidding myself about it and not letting it get to me but I know it is there. There are other instances but the Walrus one is the newest and probably most painful. I think this should help me to change but......
I tried OA, as I use food to self-medicate in a BIG way, but it was not for me but I do know it is a wonderful program for alot of folks. The one thing that hit home for me though was that you have to admit your life with food is unmanageable, which I know mine is, but I still have my head in the sand.
To sum up I am sooo broken hearted at letting myself get to this point and also I mourn for the lost time. Time I could of used to hopefully made more of myself. I guess some people remake themselves at 50 but I want to go back in a time machine to 35 and have that extra fifteen years-LOL.
Most people and online articles state to take small steps but I sometime get very,very discouraged with the huge mess I've made.
Any advice or tips. Anyone recreated your life and made it stick ??
Thank You so much for listening!!
Bonnie