I've been a member of this forum for years, and every time I come back out of hiding I vow to lose the weight and keep it off.

The closest I got was about three years ago when I went from 217 to 179, but it wasn't in the healthiest of ways.

One thing that always kept me going was that I thought I was "fit-fat." I didn't have any saggy skin, only minimal stretch marks and I could walk for hours without feeling tired.

Now, at 235 pounds, I'm the heaviest I've ever been. Walking around the mall is tiring and -- worst of all -- my stomach isn't the firm, elastic belly it once was. It's begun sagging AND it's very rapidly gaining bold red stretch marks everywhere. I'm really depressed because I feel like I've missed my shot at ever looking fit and toned. I don't know if -- even if I lose all the weight -- I'll ever be able to wear a bikini.

I'm only 24. In some ways, I feel like I've ruined my body through years of neglect and even huge weight loss won't get it to where it could have been.

Has anyone had a similar situation? I could really use some encouragement right now.

I'm in that situation. I look at my body in the mirror and know that I've done the damage. I'm coming to accept it now. I won't be able to wear a bikini in public, but I will be healthier and feel better.

I can relate. After years of being over weight and 2 pregnancies I have no idea what I'll end up looking like. But I'm sure anxious to find out!

I was a yo-yo dieter for years and one stint I rapidly gained 50 lbs in a short amount of time. I ended up getting scary stretch marks across my stomach (angry red like you said). Eventually they faded with time and are silver.

Since I lost weight gradually and incorporated exercise, I'd like to think it has bounced back relatively well.

You are still young! Don't let the uncertainty of what you'll look like at goal hinder your progress! I remember 24 was the year I really wanted to "beat" this since I didn't want to waste my youth unhealthy and unhappy!

Thank you so much for this.

That's such a lovely, optimistic way to view it. And at the end of the day, thin with a little loose skin and stretch marks will look a **** of a lot better than fat -- plus I'll be able to run and hike and swim, even if it's in a one-piece.

You're right. There's every chance that this is something that can be tightened with exericse, and even if it's not -- I can always stop this in its tracks now.

I felt like that after my first pregnancy. It totally ruined my stomach. I have massive stretch marks there, on my boobs, inner thighs, and even behind my knees. I should have ate better during that time. Wow. But, the stretch marks have done some fading and I think once I get this weight off, they may be a little better. Either way, I will look better and feel awesome!

Then make a choice: would prefer being fat with stretch marks, or thin and toned with stretch marks ?

There is a price to be paid for mistreating our bodies and it is stretch marks and sagging skin. Weight training can help some but I'd be looking for a tankini.

I am in the same boat. Three kids doesn't leave your stomach skin very pretty. However, I know many ppl who were in the same boat as me, and they ARE able to wear a bikini. There are some tricks out there that you can do. Your best best is weight training and heading to your local spa for some advice. They will have lotions and maybe a wrap or two that will bring back the elasticity in your skin. How do you think all those older ladies out there get rid or wrinkles without surgery?? Creams and lotions work, you just have to find the one that works with for you. Oh and don't forget your water!!

I'm with you there. I'm 23 and while my stomach doesn't sag, I have quite a few stretch marks. Who knows how saggy I'll be when I lose weight - I've never been thin enough to find out.

But I think yo-yo dieting is generally accepted to have a terrible effect on your body. I know this time that if I give up I'll put more of a focus on trying to maintain rather than gaining all of the weight back and then some. And I know from experience that once you let your fitness dip, it's hard to work it back up again.

But you can do this because you've done it before -- you got down to 179, that's amazing! And you haven't "missed your shot." You're young and there's still time. You have no way of knowing how your body will bounce back.

I probably won't ever be able to wear a bikini without someone gawking at my funny-looking stomach, but you know what? I'm not going to let that stop me. I'll wear the damn thing anyway.

Maybe the maintainers would be able to help with this question more.

I do have a friend who lost 120 lbs. She advised me to lose the weight slowly, exercise, take tepid showers/baths (no hot, hot water) and lotion daily with shea butter. Your skin is an organ. Every day old cells die and new ones are born. Stretch marks don't disappear (they are scars) but you can lessen their visual impact. Now my friend did get a tummy tuck , but she carried a lot of fat in her abdomen.

My stomach always has :/ it's gotten smaller but at the lowest part I can see some loose skin hoping if I lose more it'll firm up and not sag anymore. It's really tough to think that no matter what, you may have damage that can't be reversed. But I know being skinnier and more fit is what matters. We just gotta stick with it and improve everything that we can improve!

Mini-update.

First, thank you so much for all of the advice, support, motivation and no-nonsense attitudes. As I said before (and as nearly all of you have said) at the end of the day, saggy skin and stretch marks on a healthy body are still going to be better than on an overweight body.

Second, I remembered an old trick I discovered by accident for stretch marks which -- while it hasn't erased them -- has really reduced them in a matter of a couple of days. I bought a cellulite cream ages ago for my thighs and it said to spread it on your stomach as well. I smeared it on overnight for a week and my stretch marks totally disappeared. I'm not sure if it'll be as magical this time -- the brand I used has been discontinued, so I found a similar one -- but it is improving.

As for the saggy skin, I'm starting to think it could also be that I've never been at this weight before, and having never been here, I may have confused sag with a plain-old potbelly. It definitely feels a little less elastic than normal, but I am going to try to use the cellulite cream and cocoa butter and I think I can get this somewhat under control.

Thanks for the advice on shower temperature, Freckles -- I never would have thought of that. I'm trying to be nicer to my hair, too, so a colder shower is probably going to be the way to go.

But even if I can't, it's yet another reminder that I cannot delay my weight loss anymore.

Do it now, trust me!

I have had two HUGE pregnancies, in addition to being obese most of my life. Does my body look perfect? No. Do I have stretchmarks, HECK YES. Does it feel/look better than carrying around all that extra weight. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS a billion times yes.