Quote:
Originally Posted by Daki
The knot in my stomach was so awful I could barely eat for a week. I cried and cried and cried and moved to dry sobs when I couldn't produce anymore tears. He was my One. We were going to get married and buy a house and have children. And he destroyed all of that and I had no idea how to deal with everything I just lost, even if none of it existed yet.
This is exactly what I'm going through. We talked about doing that one day. I have no idea why he decided he didn't need me any more. And I'm glad to know I'm not a freak for not being able to eat. I had a bowl of cereal today and it felt like an accomplishment because I didn't feel sick afterward. If you could send me the article you mentioned that would be great. And I've already found a couple people who are willing to let me sit and just vent...I felt bad because one of them looked like she was about to cry, so I stopped.
ERHR, I know that's what I need to do, but I haven't been able to do it yet. I did unsubscribe from all of his updates so I don't see him when I log into facebook. And my sister made me promise to not contact him. She says if he wants to stay friends (like he said he does) he will eventually contact me. But she said to stay away and not say anything to him until I'm ready, so even if he calls me I swore to her I'd ignore it, let him leave a voicemail, and then call her instead. He sent me a message on facebook yesterday and I read it but didn't reply. I'm so not ready to talk to him or see him. Eventually I have to go to our apartment and get the rest of my stuff...probably not going to do that for 2 weeks or so. I want to talk to him and tell him how much he hurt me by lying to me, but I want to do it face to face and I want to do it when I'm ready and able to talk to him without breaking down. I don't know how long that'll take. I feel like I'll never be ready. I keep dreaming about him and waking up and feeling terrible because in my dreams he wants me back. I wish the dreams would stop. I wish I could stop thinking about him and all of the plans we had and the future that I lost.