Why am I ignored??? What's wrong with me?

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  • Central Texas.

    Thanks guys... I really appreciate it.

    I have zero desire to be a part of the greek system (my brother is a part of it... and he LOVES it... but from everything I'm seeing from him, my cousins, his girlfriend, my friends... it's just not for me)... but I am looking at being a part of the Horseman's club, PreVet Club, I'm a part of the Presidential Honors program, and I might look into one or two other things... though... most of the stuff offered at this school with already established organizations just doesn't interest me. I would be interested in something involving eco friendly stuff... or animal welfare type of stuff... which just isn't there. But I am looking into volunteering at the local animal shelter, as well as being a part of the equestrian scene... so hopefully I'll meet people through that... as well as through my classes.

    It... it was just frustrating. But... it's ok. I'll live.
  • It sounds like you are doing all you could be doing to get involved. Maybe it's important to figure out -why- you want to be involved with people. What you hope to get out of it. Do you want a huge circle of friends for casual fun time. Or a smaller group but really people you can share everything with? Do you want it because that is the type of person you are or because that is what people are suppose to do?

    Just make sure you know what you like, and why you like it. If you are passionate about sustainability (I'm a huge ECO freak - work with a sustainability group now and am super active for the green political party.. hehe) maybe see if you can set something up? If it's not there, doesn't mean that it couldn't be there. Be the first! it helps doing things you are actually passionate about, it triggers other people to join you and see you more clearly.

    Goodluck on it all! And cherish the friends you have, even if they are not there at college with you. Skype or whatsapp are my best friends now, because even though I am in a new situation with not as much real friends at this place yet, I still have my old friends to share new stuff with!
  • The same thing happened when I went to Orientation my freshman year. The other kids were nice enough but I never really 'connected' with them. I suspect I was trying too hard >_< oh well.

    Oddly enough, Freshman year I hung out with all the French foreign exchange students who eventually introduced me to the other international kids from Asia, Europe, etc I went to a party school without knowing it was a party school, and I've never been into that sort of thing. I had a lot of trouble first semester making friends and because the international students were mostly 24+ and I was only 18, they were used to hanging out at bars and such during the weekends and nights so I was lonely during those times. I ended up getting a really great roomie in October and we're still great friends now. She introduced me to a club on campus where I eventually found my little group of friends and boyfriend. I was as 'popular' as most of the other kids on campus but that just isn't who I am anyways.
  • I've always had a pretty solid group of friends and I love to talk to anyone and make friends quickly. That being said, there wasn't a single person that I cared to see again from college aside from my roommate my senior year.

    That says a lot. Quality over quantity
  • Oh, Ser!

    I had a really painful and isolated college experience and I always felt that no matter how hard I tried, people just never warmed up to me. But in reality at some point I shut down and gave up. My best advice is to love yourself and NOT give up. Are you going into your freshman year? I know it's scary, but it's still new- and it will get better. This is the perfect time to meet people through class, join some clubs, and get involved. Find common interests with people and the rest will come naturally. And be kind to yourself- there's nothing wrong with you, and you are worthy of having great friendships in your life! Keep us posted.
  • I recommend getting a job on campus. Throughout college, I kept getting stuck in dorms where the other 3 girls had been BFFs since high school and I was by myself. I got along with my roommates and classmates, but wasn't really close to any of them. I didn't start really making friends in college until I got a job at the Rec Center. All of my college friends were my co-workers.
  • I applied for a job at the library a while back... and I just got an email about tutoring for the men's basketball team. (there are around 5-6 subjects that I've already completed...)

    So... might end up doing the tutoring... It's been crazy the past couple days (move-in day is tomorrow, so we were getting ready for that), but I'll probably call or talk to someone on Monday... I should look at the email again and see if I can email back that I'm interested.



    Just ready to move into the dorm and see how it goes. Thanks.
  • Quote: and I just got an email about tutoring for the men's basketball team. (there are around 5-6 subjects that I've already completed...)
    sounds like we should be getting tips from you! ha
    have fun!
  • Oh, I was like that when I first came to college. I was shy and didn't always "cling" to people. People didn't always know how to approach me either because my fellow theater major tended to be outgoing and didn't know how to approach a "shy" actor. But anyway, two years later they adore me and even though I'm not super chatty, they have accepted me. I think some personalities in college are initially ignored , but if you persist, you eventually click for people. Not that I'm best friends with all of them, but they enjoy talking with me. I would say just keep being yourself and these things take time.
  • Well... I talked to some people, I'm going to go to the football tailgate tomorrow... talked to the cute Presidential Honors freshman guy... we had travel in common, since he's wanting to do International Business, and I grew up in Europe and want to work over there in future. So... yeah. We talked for a bit, then he had to go meet a friend. But at first, we were both sort of alone... he was sort of standing awkwardly, as was I... so I went over and said "hi" and all... BUT... no clue if he's taken or not... and I got told off by one of my friends because I was too "clingy"... so I try so hard to not be... so I'm not quite sure how to balance that... how to hang out with people, but not constantly be hanging out with them... or something.

    And tomorrow I'm heading out to one of the bars that a school-wide party is being held at... it's called a "stop and go"... and so people who have boyfriends/girlfriends wear red, and those who don't wear green... or something like that. So I need to find a green shirt... I think the one I have is so dark green that you can barely tell it's green. I have tons and tons of red shirts though...

    But yeah... it's getting better... and all this running and weight loss is helping. Thanks so much guys. Still haven't found many people to hang out with... but I haven't stopped trying. (not invading people's space, more of catching someone's eye and saying "hey", or something).