So, I was a good girl and I readjusted my ticker, and did an excellent job going back to the gym and staying on plan.

Then WHAM-O, TOM hits with a vengeance, and this morning I bounce up two pounds. So what happened? I said to myself the same thing I always say, "don't worry, it's just a temporary bounce..." but then, I only manage to stay on plan through mid-afternoon. Went out to dinner and got grilled salmon, but when it came swimming in sauce, I soaked up all the sauce with a whole bunch of not-on-plan rice, then brilliantly decided, when I got home, to top it off with a cold left-over half a grilled cheese sandwich. Didn't make it to the gym.

The thing is, today, I REALLY felt fat-- I'm sure I'm bloated, but even though my weight has gone up a bit, I never, until to day, could really feel it... Today. YUCK.

So, I've not achieved my goal to stay POP every day until June 19th (my two year anniversary.)

Trying again tomorrow. It has simply GOT to stick one of these days.

Hang with me chickies.

I know exactly what you mean! We just have to keep trying and try to figure out what our triggers are--being tired, cranky, bored, certain foods, etc. Good luck, and feel better!

I'm not meaning to sound nauseatingly pi about this but look - you stayed on plan for most of the day. I don't know about you but for me, some days that's a huge achievement. You have absolutely the right attitude, that tomorrow you will aim to stretch that on plan time farther. All we can do is keep re-trying, until it clicks in. It will.

Keep trying until it sticks. Keep trying and trying and trying unilaterally you're blue in the face. It will eventually. Just don't give up.

Rosinante, I must say, you are my idol in this regard!!!

Every day it gives me hope when I think of you, because I remember watching you go through a period of struggle when it was smooth sailing for me.

I am trying to be brutally honest with myself. It just isn't realistic to think that after struggling with food issues and disordered eating for thirty plus years that suddenly I would wake up one morning and forever after just have a perfect handle on things.

I am slowly trying to understand myself as a person who struggles, but who has tools in place, and I'm trying to see myself as someone whose weight may fluctuate because it is DIFFICULT for me to control my weight, but that is okay and a ten pound gain does not have to be the beginning of the end. It does not have to be all or nothing for me. I can be one of those people, more like a normal person, who gains some pounds and then loses some pounds.

Until now, obesity always felt like such a one way street. I always felt like if I gained some that I really could never lose it again, and it was that feeling of hopelessness that got me to just shy of 300lbs.

Now, I'm not going to be hopeless. I'm going to take a long view. I'm going to understand that if I gain five or ten pounds that I need to work on losing those five or ten pounds and that maintaining my new lower weight is not a destination, but a process.

I like what Rosi had to say here too.

I always find it hard to get back on plan. You can't expect it to happen on day one. That's how so many people end up quitting! I always know when fighting cravings I have to get three good days under my belt and then it gets easier. But sometimes it takes a month to get those three consecutive days in! However, even those days that aren't so good while you're trying to collect three days are lower calorie than they would be other wise...if that makes any sense at all!

its okay, just dont give up... keep pushing.. the weight will have to come off at some point... =) big hugs

I think you're doing an amazing job. Look at how far you've come. Don't let anything stand in the way of getting where you want to be. You've already got the right attitude. You just have to see it through. You've been doing this long enough that I'm pretty sure you'll be right back on the wagon asap. Have faith in yourself and be strong!!

What plan are you on? It may be too strict if you find yourself falling off a lot. Something like calorie counting or Weight Watchers would have "allowed" you to have some rice and still be on plan. Did you fall into the "well, I had a little rice which was off plan so I may as well just eat it all" thinking?

It may be that adjusting your plan would help you, too.

Good luck!

A good thought, but that's not my problem... I count calories, and I'm less strict now than I used to be, by quite a lot....

My problem is in my mind. I'm having trouble convincing myself to stick to any plan right at the moment.

Hoping the plan sticks for you soon. I like what Rosinante said though too - that you were on plan most of the day. You'll get your groove back, just keep going.

Oh goodness, I understand! I fell into this pattern over a year ago and gained back my little 35 pound loss. I'm just now getting my head back on again. Girlfriend, do whatever you need to do to get back on-plan. Do whatever you need to do to string some days together. To build up momentum. It's time to let your inner general out to play. Get tough with yourself. Allow no excuses. Maybe, take all junk and trigger foods out of the house for a week. No eating out for the next few weeks. Eat the same things for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for the next week or so. The exact same things! Make this as easy on you as possible. Sometimes, just getting a few days of successful, 100% on-plan momentum is all you need to get you back on the right path.

I'm cheering for you! I know that you are strong enough to do this! Now, just do it.

Thanks, girly girly. You are so right....

You know what's really holding me back? It's like, at some level, I just don't feel like I WANT to....

When I expect more of myself, I will get more. Period.

ubergirl, you are not alone. I completely empathize with the "not really wanting to stay on plan" feeling. The feeling of "I've gained, but it's not THAT bad yet, not bad enough to be a real emergency."

Hang in there. 5 bad days and 5 good days are better than 10 bad days.

Oh yes, that's so familar, and what led me to regain 89lbs after I'd done so well in 2002-2004.