Do People Really LOOK at each other.....

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  • Just pondering .......I have lost 26lbs since January 26th, and even though I still have 92lbs to go.......when is anyone going to start noticing?

    I have a theory that the same people you see every day at work, etc., just kind of register a check mark when they see you, no one really takes the time to SEE someone else. Anyone else find this to be the case?

    I just wonder if after 45lbs someone is going to LOOK up one day and wonder if I'm seriously ill.......

    Kel
  • I think its relative. I lost about 25 pounds before anyone noticed, but that was about 15% of my body fat.

    A friend of mine who was heavier than I was to begin, it took her losing almost 50 pounds before anyone seemed to notice.
  • I think you're right, it takes people, including myself, a while to really SEE people when we're not really paying attention. You've done great so far so just keep going and hopefully someone will notice soon
  • I had to lose about 50 pounds before anyone noticed. I have also found that people notice once I buy smaller clothes.
  • Yeah, unfortunately the heavier we are, the longer it takes for someone to notice. It took me 45 pounds lost before I had my first comment from someone who didn't know what I was doing. And then when you do get it...know that there are at least 10 others who have noticed but are afraid to say anything. And then just wait for it because everyone's going to start commenting! Enjoy while you enjoy it because eventually it gets old.

    The opposite is true as you become smaller. 10 pounds lost is huge and everyone will comment on that too.
  • Everyone is different when they lose weight ~ sometimes it's immediate to see because of how someone carries his or her weight, other times it takes a while and maybe even a drop of 25-45 pounds before anything is noticed.

    When I told my sister-in-law yesterday that in 10 more pounds I will have lost 100 pounds, she refused to believe me and said she never saw it (the extra 100 pounds). It makes me feel good because she always just saw me as a person, and I'm glad she forgot what me with 100 extra pounds looked like!

    Don't get discouraged...a lot of people may be hesitant to ask if you've lost weight or comment on any weight loss if they don't know if you are trying to lose weight. I know that unless someone I know personally tells me they are trying to lose weight, then I don't say anything to them about a weight loss until I know for sure.
  • I lost about 30 lbs before anyone noticed. It also depends on your clothes IMO. If you lose a lot of weight but are wearing the same clothes it's harder to notice. I guarantee if your clothes are loose and you were one outfit that's more fitting someone will say something
  • and it depends how 'close' people are to you - friends and family commented on mine at about 30 - 35 lbs, but work people it was a lot longer -- mostly, i think, they don't want to be rude in case you're NOT losing weight! How humiliating to say to a big girl "oh have you lost weight" and a "umm no" response... I like to think people are just being kind and waiting til it's for sure! Kind of like not saying "oh when is your baby due" but opposite LOL
  • Yah i understand how frustrating it is..ive lost 17 pounds and no one says anything to me. i have to ask my hunny if he can tell..but i have so much more to lose..
  • THANK YOU ALL FOR THE RESPONSES!!!! I think you are right, clothes that fit better, a bit more weight, and people will notice

    Hanging in there! I'm doing this!!!

    Kel
  • I work with all guys, so I am the only female. I don't say anything about my weight loss or eating habits because I'm just not ready to venture into that area yet with them. No one at work has mentioned anything to me and I like it that way because the other way would be to uncomfortable. I come in to work smaller every week and they keep their mouths shut It's a perfect arrangement for me.
    My husband is a different story, he doesn't always mention it (unless I ask) but I have seen him taking double-takes at me, which of course feels good.
  • We're "hard-wired" not to notice small to moderate changes. A psychology professor argued that if we noticed very small changes in face and body changes, it would change how we process facial (and body) recognition, we might not be able to recognize anyone we hadn't seen in 5 years. Their features would be "too different"). We'd also get "worked up" about normal changes (is that aging I'm seeing, or is the person sick, do they have something contageous?)

    My husband and I love each other and DO look at each other, but we look the same today in the mirror or to each other than we did yesterday. We've each lost 80+ pounds, but we can't "see it" unless we look in old photographs, and even then it's the photograph that seems like the "wrong" memory. Again it's the way the brain is organized. We "replace" yesterday's memory of a person with today's memory. There are a few very rare people who's brains don't work that way (Oprah had a woman on who can remember everything that happened every day of her life). It makes it difficult for her not to hold grudges because she remembers every argument and insult if it happened yesterday. Remembering every distinction in a person's body changes would probably be similar. How easily we forget, is actually an advantage.


    Can you imagine how bizarre it would be otherwise. "Hey Jack, I noticed that you lost 1/8 of a pound since yesterday, are you feeling ok?"


    Aside from the brain physiology, there's also social learning issues. Weight loss is taboo in this culture. Do you compliment someone on their weight loss only to discover that they're ill? What if you're wrong and they didn't lose weight, are they going to think you're suggesting that they should in a passive-aggressive way?

    If you need recognition, you can prime the pump and announce "I've lost weight, can you tell?" But of course then you do risk hearing the truth from someone who didn't notice.
  • Starting out, I only noticed much difference in my sizes after about 30 lbs lost. Even then, I couldn't quite comfortably fit into the next size down (I like my clothes somewhat loose) so I kept wearing my old clothes.

    Ten pounds more was a big woosh for my size, for whatever reason, and suddenly I could fit into smaller size and people seemed to start noticing.

    I guess it just depends on your body. Keep at it and people will notice soon, I'm sure!
  • kaplods- excellent explanation!!!

    Kel
  • I was just wondering this same thing earlier today. Feeling very discouraged that I have lost almost 20 pounds and not one person has noticed. Now I know I'm not alone and I just need to be patient. Not that it should matter what others think but I think for everyone it's nice when people notice all the hard work that you have put into this.
    Thanks CoCoMonkey for starting this thread.