The weather here was gorgeous this weeked and I met my daughter in San Francisco for lunch and shopping. We were having a great day until the restaurant. I don't know if any of you have experienced this before, but I could not fit into the booth...I mean I have had some tight squeezes before, but never like this. I literally could not breath or move when I was in it...I was stuck! It was mortifying! My poor daughter took it all in stride, but how embarrassing for her! Basically I told her that I was very embarrassed and wanted to leave the restaurant, rather than ask for a table. She understood and we left and went to another place, but it was awful...really awful, the whole mood was just down!!! After lunch, she went back to school and I drove home, crying most of the way. I think that everyone has these types of moments in whatever their struggles may be, but unlike a "normal" person who identifies and tackles the problem...I added to it!!! Instead of going home and taking a walk or motivating myself to fix it...I went out and bought a box of See's candy and ate it all!!! I had a pity party and now I feel worse and ate a gazillion calories. Before this happened, I was feeling okay...I had been sticking to my calorie limit and really identifying "trigger" foods and staying away from them. I just can't believe that after one of the most humiliating experiences of my life, I do the one thing that got me there. I am so disgusted with myself!!! I just keep thinking that my daughter will always remember "that time" when I had to leave the restaurant, because I could not fit.
Huhhhhh...I know what I have to do, but it drives me crazy that I can let myself just get like that.
Well I just had to get it out and thank you all for letting me do that here...