I definitely only started binging after I lost the majority of my extra weight. I generally "let" myself overeat on the weekends in hopes that it will keep me in check during the week, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

I'd like to get off the "diet mode" wagon but I find that impossible because I know how many calories are in everything and I can't quit doing the mental math. That, and if I ate intuitively I'd go RIGHT back to the "old ways," probably doubly so. There is a lot of mourning for being able to sit down and enjoy a meal without stressing out about it and numbers-crunching.

MKendrick, I am like you. When I was fat, I didn't think about food. I ate what I wanted when I wanted it, and like you, what I wanted was unhealthy and I wanted too much of it too often. I did not binge. I used to be the person who could buy a dozen donuts and eat just one. I never felt the urge to clean my plate and would happily leave three bites left over.

Nowadays not so much. Yesterday I bought a 6-pack of prune-filled jelly donuts at the grocery and DH and I each ate 3. Part of it is the restriction, which is why I have to include a "free" meal in my plan. Part of it is that DH has always been more of a binge eater and a member of the clean plate club and his tendencies have rubbed off on me. I typically deal with it by just not bringing junk food into the house and limiting it to a single serving when I'm out.

I've been failing at this the past couple weeks though. I lost 5 lbs because of stress about my dog's injury, and now that he's doing better I got stuck in this mindset of "I lost too much so I need to gain some back, so it's okay to eat junk." I gained back those 5lbs plus couple more. I'm still within my comfort zone but I'm having trouble breaking out of this mindset that it's okay to eat junk. I told DH yesterday that I almost feel like my craving for junk is such that I feel like need to eat enough junk to make me sick so that I'll stop wanting to eat it. I haven't done that yet, and I don't know if it's the answer or not.

Starting today I am not going to eat any dessert on weekdays. This has always been part of my maintenance plan but I've slipped a lot. NO DESSERT ON WEEKDAYS.

paperclippy, take it from me - you can never eat so much junk/dessert that it will cure you of your desire for it. You can eat it until you're sick, but give it an hour or two and your stomach will produce room for more. It's a neverending cycle of horrible.

I would like to join you on your "NO DESSERT ON WEEKDAYS" crusade. Today, like yesterday and the day before and the day before that, have just proved to me that I am like a baby or a lower life form and cannot behave like a lady around sweets.

I am in the non-bingeing before weight loss club. Sure, I ate horribly and lots of it but never so much that I was sick (okay well maybe at buffets but that was more about the huge assortment of food available and I wanted to have it all). I remember the first time I lost weight - there was this woman in my office who had a huge basket of chocolates. At this point, I had lost quite a bit of weight and was doing good. Well, one day I ate some of her chocolate and then some more and some more. The next thing I knew, I was at the gas station buying anything and everything. It was like I had already wrecked my diet that day, so I was going to enjoy it.

This time around I am trying to approach this all so differently. I figure if I stay at 174 forever, it is far better than balooning back up to 198. So I try to eat intuitively but if I want some ice cream, okay sure, but some - not 8 gallons. Now I used to read these same words on other people's posts and I would think I could never do that because I wanted the 8 gallons - I wanted the feeling of just shoving the food in my mouth without thinking about it. But what I have realized is that is what I was craving - not having to worry about food - more than the 8 gallons. So I really try to be relaxed about it all. I have a set of meals I eat that are healthy and low calorie (and I don't have to think about them or count the calories). And if I deviate on one or two days, it is not the end of the world. Because the bingeing is what will make me gain all the weight, small deviations will not. And I have been losing - not super fast like before but I have been doing about a pound a week and that is good for me.

Hello all,
This is my first post here but I have been following and feeling in tune with many. Just this morning I was recalling a "naturally thin" friend who DOES actually watch her weight but it seems food is just not a big deal for her. We were in florida together and she had an ice cream brownie sundae several times that week. Of course, I voiced some jealousy. (BTW she is a 44 year old mother of four and still looks great in a bikini, rarely exercises, also)

She told me she NEVER eats like this at home. She never has ice cream and YES, she will gain 10 pounds on this vacation. But then when she returns home and back to her regular eating patterns it will come off. I then said that I did eat ice cream when not on vacation and am always having to watch myself and my weight. Her eyes opened wide She could NOT imagine ice cream as a regular occurrence--

I was reflecting on this because I have ice cream in the house and have pretty much been eating the entire gallon by myself. Days, nights, weekdays, weekends...no matter.

I join you in the no dessert on the weekdays pledge.
K

Wow, so many of you sound EXACTLY like me!!! MindiV, I think we must be brain twins, haha.

I think another factor that led me to binges after weight loss was while *during* weight loss, I had a specific goal to work towards and it was easy to keep it in focus. During weight maintenance, I still have a goal, and that's for my weight to stay roughly the same, but maintaining a constant isn't the same mindset as changing to get to a goal.

So with the new maintenance mindset, it was easier to allow myself, as in planned, more cheats. I ate low cal (not restricted low cal, but around what I ate when I was losing) for the most part and would allow myself these huge cheat meals. It amazed me every single time that those huge cheat meals never affected the scale. I might be up the next day from sodium, but my weight always bounced right back. I guess that gave me a false sense of security because those big cheat meals became more frequent. And with the more frequent cheats, other habits crept back like snacking and grabbing a handful of this and that in the kitchen. For the most part, my weight would bounce back. But the number it bounced back to was creeping up. I didn't do significant damage, of which I'm so glad, but now I'm 129ish on my low days instead of 124-125. The fact that my weight was no longer bouncing back to where I wanted it to be scared me a bit. I had to face the music that I had indeed gained back 5lbs of real weight (I know that's a small number, but a gain back just the same). So that sent me into major damage control mode, hence, restricting. As we discussed, more restricting made me feel more deprived and rebellious which led to a binge. So I was going from restricting to binges. The bigger the binge, the stricter the restriction which led to an even bigger binge followed my an even stricter restriction.

I know many of you followed my thread about the blow out with my husband when I told him I needed his help snapping out of that cycle. That was after a week of eating around 500-600cal/day. I have never in my life done something like that. Well following the blow up and after talking through it, I started eating normal healthy meals again. As awful as that was, I think it snapped me back on track. I have been eating between 1200-1600cal/day since then of very balanced and delicious meals. I feel satisfied again, so even though I might crave some binge foods, my body isn't desperately screaming "feed me!" anymore so I can ignore the cravings.

Congrats on your wedding mkendrick many years of love, happiness and good health