I talked with my husband the other days about wanting to share a healthy lifestyle with him. I have had times in my life where I've been over weight and times where I've been relatively healthy. Once I get moving, I like exercising, but I'm an emotional eater, and my biggest struggle is not eating because I'm sad/bored ect...

Anyway hubby has never been into fitness. Never. Eats what he wants and doesn't move if he doesnt have too. Now until about 3 years ago he was prety thin, but alas as he got closer to 30 and stopped growing taller, it caught up with him. He has gained over 100 lbs, and is very very out of shape.

When I talked to him about these things I want to do, like hiking, for example, he said he can hike. Huh??

I told him that WE are in no shape to hike right now, but if we work at it, maybe by the time the weather warms up, we can go for a day hike. And he told me he can do it right now. And I quote him "what do you do on a hike? All you do is walk. I can walk all day."

I told him: no, it is not safe to just do that one day after being inactive for so long and obese. He should start slower so he doesn't hurt himself or god forbid have a heart attack. But he insists he can do whatever. He said he used to like riding bikes (like 10 years ago) and he could do it now if he wants and ride bike trails or whatever else I suggest.

I don't know what to say. How can he believe he is in any shape to just jump right in to such things. Oh here's the kicker...he's no dumby. He's a physician assistant, which is a masters level practicioner. Seems denial can over ride an education....

I'm afraid I'm with him. He probably wouldn't hurt himself hiking. He's still young and hasn't started losing muscle mass yet. The biking might be different because his balance is going to be different.

But really, there is hiking and then there is hiking. If hiking is what you want to do go do it. Just don't try to go up a mountain or go too fast till you know what you are capable of.

You both could try a short hike on a safe trail and once he sees how tough that is he will probably have a change of heart lol!

Well, I've never had any trouble getting up and running a 5K after being totally inactive for months, even years.

You're not planning on hiking Mt. Everest or hiking at 7,000 feet above sea level, are you?

I'm pretty sure he could handle an easy hike. You guys should go to do it!

Eh, there's probably some middle ground here. Maybe he can't do as much as he thinks, but you should give him a little credit. You can't possibly know his body as well as he does and it can be very frustrating to have people tell you what you can't do. Every time I've started an exercise regime, my mom has gotten on to me about how I'm going to hurt myself by doing too much too fast... it hasn't happened yet.

This guy is fat and he hikes all over.
http://fatmanofthemountains.wordpress.com/

You can't really hurt yourself hiking (unless you fall off a cliff.)

You just start walking. If you feel like crap rest, then walk some more. Or turn around.

Let him hike and join him. It's a wonderful way to work up a fitness level.

You just go at your own pace. It's heavenly.

This is the best post: Fat, Not Dead:
http://fatmanofthemountains.wordpres...-fat-not-dead/

Read it, then get yourself to EMS or REI and buy some hiking boots.

Where on the east coast are you? Near New Hampshire?

NOTHING derails an attempt at a healthy lifestyle like someone micromanaging you. You are trying to do better, and someone comes in and tells you how everything you are doing is wrong, you need to do it better, you're going to hurt yourself, it would be so easy if you'd just listen . . . I know your intentions are good, but you've got to let him figure it out for himself.

Be available for advice, but don't suggest anything for him unless he directly asks you (though feel free to talk about your own plan).

And waiting to exercise until you are in shape is sort of like waiting until you aren't a virgin to start having sex.

I think everyone is right to a point but at the same time, worrying over your loved ones is going to happen lol

Read her post, she just doesn't want him to push himself too hard/too fast right away and end up injuring himself which is a possibility when doing any type of fitness when you are not used to it. If he has zero concept of where he is physically it is a possibility for sure. We don't know what shape he is in. I would be worried about my husband too in that situation.

I think though it is ok to encourage him that if he wants to do it to start small. Like I said a short simple hike at first to see how it goes. Then move up. There is no need to take on a mountain day one lol

I'm so glad my spouse didn't tell me I was too out of shape to exercise when I started at 302lbs! Instead he said 'You can do it!"

I don't understand why you are being so discouraging.

Also, what's that saying? "The person who says it can't be done, should not interrupt the person doing it."

Hmmm, these posts made me realize I wan't clear with my husband on the kind of hiking I want to do. I've been on flat ground kind of hikes, which are nice, but I want to go on a hike in an area that requires some serious up hill/ slope action.
Of course, that doesn't mean I can't take hubby on some flat ground hikes. I guess either he'll do a lot better than I think, or he'll see he needs to get into better shape.

I think I'm assuming how he'll do by what I see him do daily. He doesn't like sitting on the floor with the kids because he says standing up is too hard. Also bending over is too hard. Getting up to play Wii, too hard. Maybe he's just making more noise and it doesn't bother him that badly.

I'm not his keeper, so I guess I'll just do what I want and let him worry about what he can and can't do. Thank you for the advice everyone!

My husband and I are both in horrible shape (we're both on disability for pain and mobility issues). We both have pain and mobility issues that are at their worst in the winter, though hubby generally, on average, has more strength and stamina year-round, but his issues are also more consistent. Fibro tends to cycle, so on my best days, I'm the one with more strength and energy (but on my bad days, I can be bed-bound).

We both have had the ok from our doctor to do whatever exercise we can comfortably. As part of our physicals we've had EKG's and stress tests (I had to have the chemical one because I couldn't walk on a treadmill long enough, and even when into an asthma attack after less than 10 minutes on the treadmill).

Although our winters are pretty inactive, in the spring we start moving. Every spring, I will have lost strength and endurance, and hubby will jump right back into his old level. I have to work up to it, but we both do "just do it."

Even in horrible, terrible shape I will swim, get on a bike, and walk (hike). We even geocached into the woods a couple times last summer. We had to pick flat terrain, and we both took walking sticks and very supportive walking shoes, and we walked very slowly. It was hard, but we survived.

This summer I got back on my bike. I'm like a six year old on a bike - I'm a bit wobbly and am way to insecure and fearful to ride in actual traffic. I only rode around the apartment complexes parking lots, and when I got uncomfortable I stopped. But when I first got the bike several years ago I could only ride for five minutes and barely got a few blocks (it was an extremely secluded street, so it still wasn't "in traffic").

There's no reason you can't take small hikes (which are just nature walks), if you go slow and rest or stop when you're uncomfortable (unless you have heart disease, extremely high blood pressure or some other serious defect/disease) you should be fine.

I am quite limited where physical activity is concerned, but I've learned that I'm far more limited by my fear than by reality. When I started, I assumed it would be dangerous to do anything but walk slowly on a flat, indoor surface - but I was wrong. I can do a lot more if I take it slow and pay attention to my body.

I'm come on here as a way to talk / vent and get advice. Not to have that kind of stuff said. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Didn't your mother ever teach you that? And forthe record, I'm a RN that has worked several years in a rehab, among other areas like tele. Its my job to becareful patients are getting better but not over doing it to the point of injury or undoing all their progress.