Hi everybody,

This is my first time on 3FC. I found this forum while Googling overeating and figured it was a good place to start.

I realised only recently that I am an overeater. If I compare my relationship to food with that of other people it seems to me that I am not normal. I'm here because I want to know how to become normal. I feel like I am tormented by food and that nobody else around me understands what that's like.

I am not overweight right now (although I have been seriously overweight in the past) and in theory I know exactly what to do to live a healthy lifestyle. My problem is that every now and again I will go on a feeding frenzy and eat until I am sick.

Then I feel incredibly guilty about it for days afterward, become very depressed and generally not a pleasure to be around at all because I'm grumpy and pick fights (just ask my husband). If I know there is food in the cupboard, I will obsess about it until either it gets eaten by someone else, or I eat it. It's almost like being tortured until the food has been removed as a temptation. My husband doesn't get this at all because he can leave a bar of chocolate in the cupboard for a week because he's "saving it" for the weekend (a concept I simply can't grasp) or because he's forgotten about it (I have never forgotten about any food anywhere EVER). He has to hide food from me if he wants it to still be around by the time he's ready to eat it. That's not normal! and he shouldn't have to live that way.

Why am I like this? Is it physiological? Is it psychological? Is it inherited? I can go for weeks being angelic and feeling on top of the world about my level of discipline with regards to food and then all of a sudden, seemingly without warning, I'll just crash and burn and stuff my face like there's no tomorrow.

I am trying to get to the bottom of this because I am really proud of myself for losing over 70pounds in the last 2 years but I can feel that I am not in control. And I risk gaining all the weight back unless I can figure out why I have this messed up relationship to food and how to fix it. I want to free from the constant anxiety I have about eating. I want to spend my time thinking about something other than my weight/my dinner/that chocolate in the cupboard.

PLEASE please help.

You are not alone in feeling this way--I'm proud of you for admitting you need help.
I belong to Over-eaters Anonymous because it works for me. I realize not everyone is interested in it. If you'd like to know more, you can pm me, and I'll send you the OA website. They do have meetings in Belgium--not sure what part you are in. Just try to take it one day at a time!

Hey Belle - I'm in Belgium too !! Can be hard to resist the chocolate and frites here! Keep going honey, you have done soooo well !

I don't think it is something that we can fix, but rather, something we can learn to either overcome, or deal with or create better methods to deal with how we react to things in terms of food, etc.

Accepting that you are an over eater, and that there are some foods that may make you more likely to overeat is the first step!

You sound exactly like me, except I don't take anyone else's portion, but I will obsess over it, and sometimes ask if I can have it.

I am a big overeater. once i start I can't stop
It's a problem. I've found that just not having the food around can help.

wish i could help but I'm in the same boat as you hunny! The only advice I can give to throw away any tempting food in your house. Just get it out!!

belle-
I could have written your post, word for word. I feel that sometimes just knowing that there are others out there in the world who are exactly the same, is in a way, comforting.

I have lost 70 lbs. as well and I always feel like I am on the verge of reverting back to old ways and gaining it all back. Recently I have been under a great deal of stress and I have been overeating carbs. I feel bloated and out of control, but I haven't been able to get a handle on it yet. Even as I am eating, I am saying "what the heck are you doing". I suppose that's actually a step up from mindless eating where you don't even talk to yourself about it, just keep stuffing it in.

I wish I knew what the answer was. I really do. I promise if I ever figure it out, I will let you know immediately!! LOL

I don't mean to be flip. I know this is devastating at times. All I can really offer is support and a big hug!

It's really comforting ... and scary at the same time to know that I'm not the only one who obsesses about food.

Knowing that you made it to your goal and still feel out of control when it comes to food kind of scares me.

There are very few days in my life when I feel really in control of my food consumption.

Sometimes, it's easy to get through the day... sometimes... it's impossible.

I do believe it has a lot to do with what's available... what's tempting you.. what you allow to be in your house.

For example... I was doing just fine with food until my family came and left lots of Christmas left overs here. Of course... I couldn't let those go to waste, and I was the only one that liked them... so... I just had to eat them.

I have a hard time throwing food away, especially if it's something I really like. I will rationalize it like.. I'll just eat it, and then get back to my diet tomorrow. Procrastination has cost me the last 15 years of my life...

Good luck to you sweetie.. I hope you find the answer, and if you do... please share

What's bad about me is that even if I don't buy the sweets or chips, I know that my parents (next door, in walking distance) has them, and will let me have some if I ask.

I use to binge, do not know why, not true I know, frustration, stress, boredom, etc. You need to find the trigger and replace the eating by another activity such as walking (it works for me) it could be anything that you love doing.

You could remove the food from your house but it is like a bad aid it only hides what is under and not fixing the situation.

In november I went to see a nutritionist to get a plan, she came to me with a lists of food and recipes, looked at it and felt so restricted, it was so blend, so boring and tasteless that I knew I was going to binge first chance I got. I told her about it and to my surprise she asked me what I love to eat, my favorite vegetable, fruit, meat, what I disliked the most and she came back the following week with a plan I knew I could feel satisfied. So maybe when you are being careful, the food is not satisfying and everything else looks good. It is just an idea give it a try you never know but one thing for sure no matter what please do not feel guilty, pus it aside and start over.