OK... so... a friend and I are like... complete opposites. Except for our height. Our height is the one thing that's about the same about both of us. We're both around 5'11" (when we stand up straight).
Well... it's weird... because:
I need to lose weight... and she needs to gain weight (doctors told her she needs at least five pounds to gain)
I am gaining confidence... and she's always talking about her low self esteem
She's quiet and... well... not the clearest when she talks... and I'm loud... and enunciate most things.
Well... anyways... we were talking today. Primarily about our weight goals, confidence... and breakthroughs.
When we talk about these kinds of things (seems to be every other lunch period... ), she is always talking about her low self-esteem.
And... I dunno... but I just started talking today... and all of these things came out... and I'm wondering what you guys thought.
Low self-esteem doesn't exist. It's an excuse people use for a lack of confidence and allowing fears to rule your life. Fears exist. Confidence exists. But low self-esteem... doesn't. Now... autism. That's something that exists... and can be a definite reason for not being able to function well amongst people. But low self-esteem in my personal experience is a made up thing. The name was put out there to describe girls (and guys) who didn't like themselves. And since then... I think that people have latched onto it.
I think that a lot of people treat it as a disease. Something that can never be cured. But... it doesn't exist.
Fears exist. Yes... people are afraid of rejection... afraid of what people might think. Hatred and disgust exist... disgust at yourself... hatred of yourself... but that's not low self-esteem.
Maybe it's just my friend. She doesn't hate herself. She does sometimes talk about her having a large tummy...
But... with her at least... when I ask her why she doesn't just talk to the guy she has a crush on... she says "I have low self-esteem". Umm... no... you have a fear of rejection. You have a fear that he'll laugh at you. But low self esteem? No.
I dunno... I just think that so many people refuse to face up to their fears, flaws, whatever it may be... so they make up a word for what they are... as an excuse. Like... "fluffy" or "curvaceous" or "slow metabolism" for larger people. Or "relaxed" instead of lazy... or "weak" when you really just don't want to do something.
I dunno... I don't know what kind of advice to give my friend. Or even if the advice I gave to her is even valid... thoughts? Just feel free to throw in ANYTHING that involves confidence, self-esteem, fears, weight, anything!