Hi everyone,

I've been going since 5am this morning so I just want to go to bed. I've wanted to munch all day today. I had some fries tonight which somewhat fit into my calories but they were cold and I should have sent them back or skipped them altogether but I ate them anyway. I shouldn't have waisted the calories on them unless they were hot. TOM's here though so that's what I'm blaming it on.

I hope you all are ok. Purefire, good to see you. Hang in there.

Hey! How's everyone? Did all of you sickies get better? Mom? How are you?

I just got back from a week long business trip and of course... I'm sick!!! I've been managing to keep the big ulgy monster (depression) at bay but I think it'll gain ground if I can't get better and start working out soon!

hey aunty jam...yes i have finally kicked it!! YAA
but i had some nasty stomach thing last night that had me bent over on the floor thought i was in labor...lol...but was better by this morning.
TOM is here too and I ate too much junk food tonight to the point I physically felt ill...hate when I do that...so yeah...yuck

I have been trying to watch my eating and doing ok..not great but wasnt bad till tonight...lol

ok thats bout it!!
lata

hey ladies, it is good to see some of you here! I know I haven't been too regular here either, had a head cold but over it pretty quickly. But I am just ...so..BLAH!! I will be hugely better once Im out of the crappy winter job, that is just 19 days from tomorrow. Then I'll be happier, you will see!

Hi Ladies,

So I haven't been on in a while. I kind of lost desire to talk to people. I know, it is kind of not the right thing to do when I do lose the desire and want to crawl into a hole, but that is what has been going on.

I am feeling pretty hard on myself today and I don't even know what to do about it. My sister is up from Dallas visiting (this is my favorite sister(I have 6 of them)) Anyway, so my sisters and I have been spending a lot of time together. There is one sister that I have, that if I spend very much time with her, I just want to run away screaming. I have decided that I just don't like her, she is rude, says anything she wants to say and we are supposed to blow it of, because that is just the way she is and she is loud and bossy and her kids don't behave at all. If I can keep it to seeing her only about once a week for a couple of hours then we do just fine. I can fake it if you know what I mean. Also you can't talk to her about anything that you care about because her opinion is usually different and the only right one. So I just have to be breezy with her. When I spend much time with her, I get to the point that I don't like her. The problem is that when I come to this realization (I do about every few months) then I spend the next week or two feeling guilty that I don't like my sister. Is this normal? Is it ok to not like a sibling? and what am I supposed to do about this?

Sorry for the post, but I could use some advise.

Trish

Trish!! I read your post and HAD to respond right away. First, I understand about not wanting to talk to people when you're down..even though that's when we should, especially with this great group here..but I do the same thing, when I'm really down I don't come here, just when I'm kinda down or feeling good

but more urgent - I feel that you do NOT have to like your sister!! So do not feel guilty about it!! My sister does have alcoholism as an excuse, but even when we were kids she was mean and rude and awful to me. And she also just blurts things out now, critical or stupid comments, I can take the things she says about me, but NOT the mean/rude things about my boys or husband. I think you do great for seeing her as much as you do! and for recognizing what subjects you can talk of, and what to keep quiet.

Morning Ladies...

I don't know why but I can't find any of the motivation I use to have to do anything that I want to do... When I am home I don't want to do anything and if I have to go out.. I just don't want to go. I literally have to force myself to move. I woke up at 7am and have been just playing on facebook for the last 2 hours when I have a ton of other stuff I need to do.

It also doesn't help that I haven't been taken my meds correctly. I am suppose to take 200mg twice a day of Lamictal, but instead I have been taking it once a day because I am almost out and I don't have insurance right now so it will cost over $200 to get them filled and I am also not working. I just don't know what to do.

I just feel so depressed and just looking in the mirror and seeing how much weight I've gained doesn't help. I to Walmart yesterday because I wanted to get a new pair of jeans. All my jeans are really tight and they are between size 8 and 10. I tried on two pairs of jeans and found out that I am now in a size 14.... I refused to by a new pair of jeans. So I will just have to settle with what I have for now.

The worst part is.. I can't work out. I messed up my back really bad and I am in constant pain. Going for walks aggravated the **** out of it and makes the pain worse especially when I have to walk up hills. I haven't tried the stationary bike yet but I don't want to risk it. Plus without insurance I can't go to the doctors. I can't afford the bills right now. So I am just at a loss of what to do.

School is kind of a pain right now. I have so much homework to do and I just can't seem to get into it and now I only have 3 weeks left til my externship and I need to pass the last 3 courses and then 6 weeks in an actual office so basically 2 and 1/2 months until I can get a job.

The only positive thing it seems that is going on is my boyfriend is going to be helping me out a little.. He is giving me around $300 at the beginning of every month to pay my cellphone bill and any other bills I have which is nice of him but I hate the fact that he is giving me money. I seriously hate it when I can't support myself and need help from someone else... plus I have never had a guy do anything for me like my current boyfriend does so I'm just not use to it...

Sorry for the rant...

Have a wonderful Friday Ladies

Trish, good to see you back. I get that way more often than I want to, not wanting to see or talk to people. I have to say though that this year has been somewhat better. I don't have siblings but I think it is completely normal and ok not to like everyone in your family, especially if they don't treat you well. There is no law that you have to like mean people. If she was supportive I'm sure things would be different. She is bringing it upon herself.

I was looking around the room as I was waiting on the site to come up and started thinking that I'm tired of house cleaning being so overwhelming to me. I can't seem to keep the house straight. It's really not that hard but I'm failing miserably at it. My mom would be disappointed to see it the way it is. I'm disappointed. I wouldn't have company over without a good full day's cleaning at this point. Fortunately I don't have many people who would just happen by. Do you guys feel that way, like you should be able to keep on top of things? I'm not talking eating off the floors here, just reasonably clean. And for you with many kids, it's understandable to struggle.

TOM is here this week and I've wanted to eat more than I have in months. My calories have been higher than usual, not terrible but higher. I have felt a little out of control and it kinda scares me. I'm hoping the cravings will go away soon. I feel like I need to regroup and set a new goal that starts from here. I need to jump start my motivation again.

I hope you all are having a great start to the weekend.

I just have to comment about the sibling thing... I have 2 sisters. One I like and one I do not like. I felt horrible because I can't even bring myself to like the child of that sister!!! She is just so much like my sister and they both push all of my buttons. My Mom said something to me years ago that basically amounted to the fact that you can love someone without always liking them. Sounds strange I know, but I love that niece even though I don't like her. It's a bit tougher with the sister, but she's still my sister.

I've had the last 2 days off and it has been nice. I've slept in, ran some errands and watched tv. Today a friend came over and I made breakfast. We went shopping and I got some new tennis shoes which I got to break in when we took a walk around the neighborhood. It was nice to be outside in the fresh air for a change. It was a little breezy but nice.

I made some margaritas when we got back which were awesome but it didn't help me keep control when it came to dinner. I overdid it and had some easter candy. To try to make up I worked out a little longer on the ellipticle than I usually do. I know it doesn't completely work off the calories I ate but it makes me feel better about it. I think that's really all that matters is keeping myself believing that I'm doing ok so that I just don't give up. Make sense?

I dread work tomorrow...

OK, where are you peeps?

Well, I'm down 20 lbs and yet a woman described me to someone else as 'the pregnant lady you work with'. I haven't been called pregnant in a while and it caught me off guard, and no, I've never been pregnant. I have been called pregnant about 5 or 6 times in my life however. It got me down for a while today I have to admit. I'll get through it, I always have but it still sucks.

Morning Ladies... It must have been a busy weekend for everyone..

Just popping in to say hello.

Hope ~ Congrats on the weight loss. You shouldn't let what someone says bother you.. that comment was uncalled for.. and it does suck when people say stuff like that. I've been there, in fact it happened last week at school. I pretty much tried to ignore it but it just pissed me off.. Keep going you are doing great...

The weather has been kind of nice, so I have been trying to walk everyday. This morning when I went outside it was raining.. so I decided to just walk anyway it wasn't raining that hard.. so I bundled up with a warm jacket and went for an hour walk. It always seemed that when I stopped walking because it was raining.. when it was nice out again I still wouldn't go. so unless it is raining really hard I am going to keep walking no matter what the weather is...


The weekend went by kind of fast but I finally finished all the homework I had but didn't really study that much... For some reason I just can't get into it anymore. Its driving me nuts. Going to get ready for class and then try to study a little bit more...

hope- that is pretty crappy....it sucks when that happens....BUT ITS AWESOME the weight your losing!!!

Hope I am sure that you will do well, just remember that you are losing weight not gaining. So the comments that hurt at least you are doing something about it. Also about the housecleaning thing. I can't get on top of mine either. I keep trying and it is better than it was but certainly not good enough that I don't go into a frenzie whenever anyone is going to come over.

My sister is gone back to dallas, now maybe I won't have to see my other sister for a while.

My in-laws are going to be here on Thursday. So I have been turbo cleaning while trying to get everything else done. Oh and on top of that my 1 yr old is getting her molars in. She is feverish and has runny diapers, she also does not sleep. So I do not sleep. I am going crazy and I can not sleep or anything.

I will talk to you later.

Trish

Yes

and I also would have to go into a frenzy of cleaning/picking up if I knew someone was coming over. Last summer I was rude enough to not invite a friend inside, i made us stand outside and talk She has never been in our house before,we have always gone to her house, she and her husband have a wonderful restored farmhouse that is just so big and comfy and homey and our house is...well homey I guess

I am sorry to hear of the back pains / tummy hurts / overcome with homework / of my friends here!!

I started jogging 3 days ago. I like it, I think it might be the change I need so badly. Even bought a new pair of New Balance running shoes today.

Hang in there everyone