When this thread 1st started I wanted to post. But I didn't know where to start. In 1st grade I started gaining weight. I was an obese child and I came from a VERY athletic family. I was an outcast and felt it. Of course my family also gave their love very conditionally based on performance. My siblings performed very well in school. I didn't.

As I am writing this...it sounds like I had a horrible family & a nightmare upbringing. I really didn't. My survival mode was food. And actually my gaining weight was about "my father couldn't do anything about it". Of course this idea has backfired on me. I have lost a lot by holding on to this idea that no one can do anything about my weight - hahaha. I could list the things I have lost...but I believe we all have some clue to what I have lost by holding onto my weight.

Both of my parents have passed away. I still have my brother who is 10 years older than me and very fit (heck his son played in the NFL). I still have a sense of being an outcast in my family.

Today I need to embrace that it is okay for me to loose weight. I am NOT giving in to my family. I need to be healthy for me. I need to love me for me and not for something I can become. I am okay. I want to be healthy.