Hi oneless
I definitely know what you are talking about, I get angry or sad depending on the moment! My sister has these tapes and the lady talks about the "wild child" inside that is being rebellious against the rules you're setting for it.
Makes sense to me, because I DO feel like I get rebellious, but the bad thing is, when I give in I'm only sabotaging myself. Just thought I'd throw that out for you, because it's a concrete image I can sort of picture. I'm trying to think, how would I deal with a rebellious child who is angry and fighting against what's best for it -- very firmly, but with love and warmth, not berating or hatred/anger. There's my psychobabble analogy for ya!
As for Disney, I am a self-proclaimed expert, and I can tell you that Disney is very fat-friendly (UNLIKE Cedar Point/Six Flags, etc)! I was just there a month ago, and at my size (see profile), I was able to fit in and comfortably ride every single ride at all the parks. The teacups at the Magic Kingdom was a bit snug!!, and the only other issue was that the turnstiles for Haunted Mansion and Small World, I kinda had to wedge myself through. They do have a handicapped alternate entrance if you're too nervous to try it. And of course if you get to the 200s before then, it will be amazingly easier to get around, so keep working for that goal! But just wanted to maybe ease your mind about that, because you should be nothing but EXCITED
to go to Disney, not worried about fitting, etc. Check out Disney at Large on Allears.net for tons of specifics, or PM me if you have any questions!
Best wishes!!!