I am in the last month of my 6 month diet and I litterally have NOT lost weight at all. I have exercised, I have eaten LESS and I have eaten MORE. I have eaten healthy and I have only managed to go up and down the same 5 pounds. Last month I had lost 4 pounds and now I gained them back. I was in tears in my drs office when I reported my weight, I could not tell her my Bulimia is going full force lately from stress and that I know if I dont stop it I will not only end up wiht bleeding ulcers but they will KNOW when they do the scans of my GI tract before approving me.
So now I am not only fighting to lose weight, to exercise despite amaxing pain lately but also fighting just to keep my food down. It has gotten so bad that if I eat more than 6 or 8 oz at a time I feel like I HAVE to vomit, it is not just mental it is back to being a physical need along with the horrible burning in my stomach which just makes it worse.
I am terrified that if I dont lose anything Medicare will deny me and make me do another 6 months and at the rate my knees are deteriorarting I dont think I can make another 6 months. I can't even tell my mom and grandma how bad the bulimia is getting and how hard it is to fight it. Some of my friends know and now threaten to go to the bathroom with me after meals when we eat out somewhere. I also wonder if the bulimia is not part of my my legs feel so weak and sore.
Anyway I just needed to vent, thanks.