Man was I GLAD to see this in the forum. I needed to "talk" so bad tonight.
My name is Yvonne and I'm 35 yo. I am engaged to a wonderful man, who met me heavier than I am now. I have a 9 yo dd that took me 9 yrs to conceive.
My doctor 1-1/2 wks ago told me to be happy with what I've lost and not expect much more. I have lost 52lbs (and have another 70 to get to WW high end) so far on WW, but it's taken over a year. I have been TOTALLY OP the entire time (56 weeks). I eat about 1500 calories a day. He told me that he'd never seen anyone thin with PCOS and that I should just be proud that I'm eating healthy and has a wonderful man that loves me just as I am. But why can't I be happy being fat. I've been depressed for the entire time and then when I thought I was DOWN on the scale, I stayed the same. I've lost less than 5lbs in 6 months.
I feel like a physical failure. My body is so messed up and I can't do a darn thing about it. "They" say, increasing my Glucophage should give me NO side affects (I'm up to 1000mg a day). But I have HORRIBLE cramps/diarehhea now. "They" say, if I didn't have the side affects before, there should be none now, even though they have doubled my dosage and I'm definately having the side affects now.
I stayed the same on my weight. I still weigh 216lbs. So for the month I lost a whopping .6lbs (that's POINT 6, not six pounds). If I could say "I didn't stay on the program and therefore I stayed the same", it would be OK. It would be MY fault. I would take the punishment.
How long can I go on and stay on a diet and see NO results? How long can I remain fat and learn to be happy? Why can't I accept the fact that I'm fat and will always look this way? Why does it have to be MY body? Why can't it be someone elses body?
I sit here and feel that my body is a physical failure. It doesn't work right and most don't understand. I feel so trapped. Nothing I can do can remedy my situation. I can find no joy in the fact that every day I wake up to a fat face and body.
I need a hug so bad, I can't stand it. I want to cry but there is no one there for me to cry on their shoulder (my fiance is at work). So I weep alone. No one to say "it's OK, you'll figure this out". But I know there is no figuring it out. There is no "light at the end of my tunnel".
I have to find pride in the fact that I eat healthy each and every day, but I can't find pride in how I look. I feel deep despair sometimes and even my fiance can't understand why.
I found out tonight that the girl that is a receptionist at my WW meeting, one with PCOS, is gaining her weight back (she had lost 68lbs). She could only eat 17-18pts a day just to MAINTAIN her weight. I can't live like that. It's just not living. She finally gave in. When will that happen to me? The fear I have is incredible. What if I stop doing WW? Just eat normally. Will I balloon up, like a balloon? She got down at least to a size 12.
Well, I'm sorry to unload. I just need to "talk". I'm off to swim with Kassie (my dd), last night of the pool being open for the summer, maybe that will cheer me up. I will get over this. It's just so darn frustrating, every time I weigh-in.
Yvonne


together? 

I will leave the carbo's for tonight and have a nice salad and some fish with a butter sause.