Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol
containers:

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the ****
happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING:
The crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tink you can tipe reel
gude
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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
* Indubitably
* Preliminary
* Proliferation
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE
DRUNK:
* Specificity
* Antidisestablishmentarianism
* Loquacious
* Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
* Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
* Nope, no more booze for me
* Sorry, but you're not really my type
* Oh, no, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

Note: These warnings apply in Canada and England as well!

That describes me when I've had too much! Except saying antidisestablishmentarianism. That has always been one of my favorite words.

I don't know what's funnier -- the facts pointed out, or the fact that those facts are soooo true!!

lolol! so funny! living in a dorm, i know how true those are. but not from experience

Of course not! Nor do I!