Good morning!

Sarah -- Sorry your evening out was traumatic! It sounds like you handled it well though. Thank God for friends and family at times like those!

Stephanie -- Glad you came back to join us! I have two daughters. A six year old (kindergarten) and a nearly ten going on 25 year old (fourth grade). My little one is such a perfectionist. That's why it takes her so long to get anything done! I have no idea where she could have gotten that from!

I don't have any face to face OA meetings in my area either. I have gone to a couple online and even have an online sponsor. I think Jennelle does, too. So don't give up trying to start working this program, Stephanie!

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Shoot...I just got my "no school today" phone call. Grrrr...I'm beginning to get very worried about getting my third graders ready for testing in May! It's amazing how much ground they lose when we miss a few days for snow.
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I popped into another online meeting last night. Maybe today I'll actually go to one and participate. So far I've just "listened". I feel kind of silly now about being so apprehensive to try one. I'm a creature of habit and anything new freaks me out for awhile.

I hope y'all have a good day! I'm going to work on some step work while my family is still snoozing. I'm sure I'll check back in later!

Lots o' Love,
Christy

Oh, my! Another day off, Christy!? You're going to have to get those little kids online for some tutoring. I'm sure they'll catch up quickly... don't worry, sweetie.
And don't be apprehensive about trying a meeting... think of how much you have to offer them!
Did you get your step work in?
Thank you again for your prayers.

Steph, you have a great attitude about the weight!
Thanks for the hugs. It's really weird... I had to actually hide my meds because I was afraid I might take them by accident. I'm feeling fairly in control. I've told my DH that I'll be sleeping a lot this week to "pass the time", and I know I can call him at work anytime I need him. He works in the mental health field, so he's ready for me.

Hi Jennelle, Sarah, Chris and Kat! What's new?

I'm so happy... I bought myself Austin Clarke's latest book, The Polished Hoe, and I'm LOVING it.

back later... love and hugs to all...

Morning everyone!

Steph- Yes, step work is a definite OA thing.

And I spent time working on mine last night. Its not easy but necessary. I ended up pulling out my Big Black Jornal last night, this is where my black thoughts go. My Blue Journal is my recovery journal, and my Journal here at 3FC is my daily journal. I really need a hug this morning My next topic to write on is depression and its just making stomach turn thinking about it. I think its that people pleasing thing I don't want anyone to know how crazy I have been Sharing this stuff is hard, but it releases it too and shows me how badly I don't want to hang on to it or revert to my past behaviors. Now if I could only cry this morning I will probably feel better.

Christy- I tried to call you this morning, I forgot what a thing your DH is about the privacy thing. I just was thinking you would be home. Otherwise take your snow day for the blessing it is, will you have to make it up at the end of the year? I am sure the kids will make it up.

Try sharing in a meeting it can set the whole day right

Ellis- I have been watching "Keeping up Appearances" and for some reason everytime I see Daisy sitting on the couch or in bed reading a book I think of you (not that your not a million times more gorgeous) its the behavior. Books are like are holodecks they give us some interactive relief from this world.

Well check in Sarah, Kat, and Jenelle. You all are GREAT

Much love,
Miss Chris

Oh, Chris... let me send you a big hug...
My gosh, do you ever want to burn that black book?
Don't fret the depression thread. Start it when you're ready. And it'll be a very healing thing... we all need it sometimes. (some of us more than others )
Hang in there, sweetie... I love yoU!

Chris - I'm glad you have a black book instead of a black cloud of doom in your head. Sometimes it really helps to get it out of your head and on to paper, doesn't it? to you.

Christy - How many "cushion days" did your district factor into the year? Most around here only factor in two extra days. Last year, we lost a professional development day because we had to make up for three ice days.

Hey to everyone else.

Hi ladies!

We had a great weekend with our guests. Very busy and tiring, but fun. The weather was fantastic (raining, here, now, though).

I dealt with some anxirety on Sunday which I was having trouble letting go. Woke up with some of it on Monday but was able to finally give it up to my HP. It took several tools for me to get there.

DH and I are looking into buying a house (we're no where near prepared yet). We are sick of apartment dwelling. So we're getting rid of our consumer debt and starting to save for a down payment. Any advice, books, websites anyone wants to offer is fully welcomed!

Welcome Stephanie!

Christy: Congrats on the new car! Sorry about the insane snow days (but part of me is jealous ).

Ellis: Good luck with the meds thing. It sounds like you have great support from DH and that you are giving yourself some you time (like sleeping extra!).

Chris - I'll send you a PM with my address for the card exchange. What a great idea!

Sarah: What a tough evening with your ex! Sounds like you handled it well, though. It was tough but you didn't eat over it. Yay you!

Jennelle: Sorry your students are being lazy with work! I know you can help them. Do you often spit hard on your street?

OK, off to look online for some part time SLP work (to help pay off debt, save, etc...).

What a headache I have! I'm thinking a master's in math might not be in the cards for Christy...

Chris -- I hate I missed your phone call! I would love to talk to you sometime. Sorry about my DH and the whole weird internet-phobia he has. Sometimes he's more like my father than my husband. But he's the man that God has chosen for me and I love him...quirks and all!

(((hugs))) on that hard step work you're doing! You're so strong; I know you'll pull through with flying colors. I've said a special prayer for you tonight!

I did go to an online meeting today. Got there on time, stayed for the whole thing, AND I shared! It was wonderful, but I was so scared. My heart was pounding so hard and my hands were shaking. I really felt at home though and I KNOW I will be going back.

Jennelle -- The first ten snow days we miss are just tacked on to the end of the school year. After that we start losing Easter break, etc. In really bad years, like last and probably this one, we end up starting the school day earlier and ending later to make up some of the instructional time. Which is laughable becasue we really end up babysitting and not accomplishing a whole lot of anything. Things going okay at school for you this week?

Ellis -- Med-free day one is almost done! How are you doing? I hope you can relax and enjoy your reading. How wonderful that you have such an understanding husband who really knows your dilemma. Hang in there, hon!

Kat -- Glad you had fun with your guests! Don't envy me these snow days too much. I'll be in school until at least the 10th of June now. Do you work year round or do you have summers off too?

Good luck on paying down that debt! DH and I just got that done over the summer (after 14 years of marriage!!) and it was such an incredible relief!!!

Well, "talking" with you gals has eased my math induced headache. I'm off to email my sponsor and relaaaax a bit. Sponsor thinks its time for me to let my family (read DH) know about my problem and get some support from there. I don't know if I'm quite ready for that...I still have so much shame about my habits. I might need some more time yet. We'll see...

I'll see you in the morning. I will be going to work tomorrow!

Hugs,
Christy

Ellis might still be up Hi EVERYBODY!

Well I have cried my little ol brains out today and guess what? I feel better. I shared with both my sponsors and tonights meeting was great. We read Step 2 and everyone shared what they thought of each paragraph read. IT WAS AWESOME!

Christy- Is there anything we can do to help you with your math problems. I am so happy your not mad at me. Thank you for the prayers

Speaking of which I will take addresses for one more day but I want to distribute them by Thursday so every has time to get a card and get it in the mail. is how you'll feel when you give and recieve

Jenelle - Yes its better to get it all out. Have you had any heavy assignments lately?

Ellis- Thank you for your kind PM's today your totally awesome and I so appreciate you!

Kat- go get that house then we can all go visit you and have a place to crash

Sarah and Steph time to check in!
MUCH LOVE TO ALL!
Miss Chris

Well, before I go to bed...

Monday, while I stayed home from work, working on the mental health... I wrote my ex a looong email, explaining how she hurt me. I told her goodbye, that I was not in love with her anymore, and that she was not a good friend to me during certain times. I sent it off in the afternoon, and was DREADING the response. I wanted to be able to wall myself off, but I still love her, even though trusting her is far in the past.

I have to confess Monday night I DID eat too much, and yes, get ill as a result. I had to fight the urge to bury sadness in food, and I lost the battle. But... I did not eat all that I had, and threw the rest away. Tuesday (today) I treated my body gently, with yogurt and fruit in the morning, and small amounts of healthy food for lunch and dinner. I know that my pattern is to binge/drink/purge when depressed, and I did it again, but not as badly as I have in the past. Ok, it's a small victory. But I felt I had to be honest with you all, and myself.

I got home tonight and checked my email. I had a very lengthy response from her, which blew me away. She stressed that she loved me, she trusted me, and it made her sick that I had built up this wall of bitterness around me. She said she would not accept goodbye from me, that she was here for me.

I thought long and hard about her response, and decided to call her. We talked for an hour, and got it all out in the open. Honestly, I want her in my life as a friend, and it's hard for me to avoid her, to expend the mental effort of catagorizing her as The Evil Ex. So.... I will try to be her friend, and expect nothing from her but what I would want friends to offer.

Not best friends, but... friends. Going from being in love, to being friends, I know it can be done. But I need to focus on MYSELF and self-care and love (thanks Chris!) and knowing what I want most of all. It's the road to **** to wish for a return to romance with her... I know because I've fallen down that hole before.

But to get together for a movie or to drink coffee at Barnes & Noble and play a round of chess, I can handle. I don't want to be a bitter, angry person... because I'm not. I want to be open and to trust her... so I will see what our future as friends holds.

So... it was a good talk.

Good night all, happy dreams!