Hi Erica,
Speaking as someone who has been in your shoes, struggling to get back the momentum, willpower, determination, etc I get what you are saying. It took me many attempts to get back in the groove, but I'm here, solid into 100% mode for over a month now. You can do it too.
I think what worked for me this last time starting over, was the information that I would be traveling for work on some long flights, (several months from now) and how miserable I am flying so heavy. I was getting up into my starting clothing from 2012. I took a mental inventory of how things were at goal, and how they are with the weight back where it is. I should write down that list. I am big on planning mini goals. Just hitting 10 lbs lost was a celebration, then 25, now 30 (ROCK ON!). I don't even need a trinket or a new pair of shoes - just knowing "I've done it!" or telling hubby of my success - it's a win for me. I don't know if mini goals help you but you might give that a try.
Don't beat yourself up. You are where you are regardless of the reasons. For me I realized that "tomorrow" to do something never got here. I would diet again, tomorrow.... When I restarted IP this time it was a wake up and just do it sort of deal. No last night of indulgences - heck I had a whole year of those. I just decided that "now" was the time. I jumped back in on Phase 2, as I had that food already here in the house.
Take care of yourself. You are here amongst friends.
