Okay, so this is my very first post. I'm Angela, from Virginia, 40 years old. I've struggled with weight my entire life, and always been obese, except for a few years of being actively bulimic in college. Three years I had finally gotten under 300 - reached 287. I was going to a gym and using the elliptical and weights 5 days a week. But the after a family crisis, I got depressed, lost motivation, and stopped working out and started eating compulsively again. To make a long story short, I am now at my all-time heaviest of 404lbs, at 5'5" with a 62" waist. I have severe arthritis in both knees, severe back and hip pain, and get out of breath just turning over in bed. BUT...I have decided to try again. One more time...
I have no idea where or even how to start this time - even walking has become very painful. And I feel extremely alone. I need support, and friends who truly understand. Is anyone else out there 400lbs or heavier?

Angela, other than the fact that I'm a guy, we pretty much started off in the same circumstances. On August 1, 2012 when I first started to get serious about doing something about my weight, I too was over 400 pounds. I was 404.5 to be exact. I was 42 at the time. I was a 60 waist. As of today I am shade under 275. I can't promise that you'll be able to lose it as fast as I did, but if you want to do it, you can. If I can, anybody can.

To get started you need to have a plan. In the past I would begin the day saying to myself that I was going to "eat better" today. Well, that usually didn't happen. It wasn't until I made a plan for myself and stuck to that plan that I really succeeded. And I don't think there is any one plan of eating that works. Many plans will. You just have to figure out what will work for you. To me, that means finding out what you can stick with. For me, it was a low carb diet. I might change that later when I go into my maintenance, but for now I am sticking with what works for me. Getting started was the hardest part. I've started and stopped so many times I can't count. This time was different because I was finally ready. Really ready. Once I got started and saw the weight come off, the weight loss became more addicting than any food. Suddenly, that became my obsession rather than eating and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize all my efforts. Its just not worth it.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you a quick shout to offer encouragement. You CAN do this! You'll find a lot of help here on this site. It has helped me tremendously. Not just information, but support. Good luck Angela! I wish you the best.

P.S. To answer your question, you already have gotten started by posting here and asking for help. You just need to take the next step!

Welcome, Angela! I'm Angela too.

I haven't been over 400, but I can absolutely sympathize with feeling overwhelmed. I agree with Joe that specific plans are helpful.

Also, I would say that as far as movement goes, start with what you can do. Can you do some exercises in a chair? Find something you can do to get a little more activity than you had yesterday. Moving elevates mood, which to my way of thinking is as important as whatever calories it burns.

Stick around and talk with us. Lots of helpful and supportive people here. You can do this!

I started in a similar place. Just under 400 pounds at 5'4. I have lost about 20 pounds so far.

The biggest difference maker for me was keeping track of my food and not trying to do too much too fast.

I started by aiming for just 1 pound a week, tracking my food and adding ten minutes a day of exercise.

I have gradually increased my target deficits and exercise. I do 20 minutes of "light" exercise 4 times a week and use a pedometer and set a daily step goal that is about 500 steps higher than my previous average.

I also used some of the goal setting techniques in a book called The Spark 28 Day Breakthrough Plan. Much of the info in that book is available for free on their website.

There's more details on my blog about my "plan."

I can handle walking and low impact aerobic type exercise OK, but if your pain makes those activities difficult you might try water or chair aerobics. Look up information on exercise programs for people with mobility problems.

I think the most important thing is to look at it as every little bit you lose will help and not get overwhelmed by how much you have to lose and don't try to be perfect, just aim for better. My general fitness level has improved a lot already.

I forgot to mention this, but I haven't started an exercise program yet. I plan to, but I'm lazy!

So, while I'm sure its beneficial to exercise, it would seem that changing your diet is going to be the most effective at helping you shed weight.

First off, accept that you're beautiful. Look in the mirror and find 5 awesome things about yourself. Be it your eyes, nose, hair, hands, whatever! Write them down! That way when you have your off days you have something positive to look at.
Second, if you have a smartphone download MyFitnessPal. Put in your weight and height and it will give you an allotted amount of daily calories. Enter all your food there. Eat 6 small meals a day. That way you're grazing all day but it won't add pounds. Lots of veggies are awesome, but limit your salad dressings to about 6tbs or else it cancels out. Fruits are good for sweet cravings. Drink water! And lots of it. The first weight you lose is water weight and that needs to be flushed out.
Third, be proud that you took that step to help yourself by coming open with your needs and asking for help. We are all in it together

Angela, welcome to the boards. You did the first step, you came here and you asked for help, you asked for friends. I will be here for you! Please feel free to email if you want, sometimes I get that much faster because I can't respond to the boards at work, but can get my email.

I'm currently 304.8...This is my second time of being over 300, My magic number that I always said would NEVER happen to me. Ha...I was a fool. But now I'm here and I'm determined that I need to change things. I need to do it for me and no one else, although my family does flow over in to the reasons I want to do this. I want to live a long life with them and watch my kids have kids and be a grandma.

So, I am here...would love to become friends. Hugs...

Welcome!!

As someone who lost a bunch of weight and put a lot back on again, one of the most frustrating things is not being able to do what you could before. Your brain will want to jump back to where you were, but your body needs to be the one to dictate where you are. If all you can do is march in front of the tv for 10 minutes (my fitness level when I started losing), then that is where you are. Be kind to yourself.

Welcome! I am 5'4" and bounced around between 350 and 370 lbs for several years, a regain after I lost weight to the 280s back in 2004/2005. So I know how you feel.

I finally started losing again, and lost 40 lbs over the course of a couple of years (with a bit of back and forth), before really recommitting last year. Now I've lost nearly 140 total pounds and I feel amazing.

DIET DIET DIET. Food is the most important thing for you to create a calorie deficit. I lost most of my weight with only semi-regular and not too vigorous exercise, then committed to exercise in January of this year. It is much easier now and makes me feel good.

You need to focus on your diet right now and not worry about exercise beyond, say, 20 minutes a day of gentle movement. Create the habits that let you handle your food in a thoughtful, healthy, LIVEABLE way and give yourself space to do that.

Ask yourself what sort of structure you need to do that and whether calorie counting, weight watchers, low-carb, or even some sort of pre-packaged meal plan appeals the most to you and think seriously about that.

Throw out all junk food. PLAN AHEAD and no matter WHAT diet plan you choose, read the labels on everything you eat. Learn to measure portions properly and make yourself take notice of the calories in the food you consume. This will help you get to a better place where you are aware of what you eat every day.

As you lose weight, you will be able to incorporate more exercise into your routine and will hopefully start feeling fewer aches and pains.

Welcome Angela!!

There is already some great advice here so I just wanted to welcome you to 3FC and tell you this is the best place for you to start. 3FC has changed my life and these wonderful people can't be thanked enough. This forum shares and celebrates my successes and mini goals, they guide, help and console me during my tough moments. I couldn't ask for a better online support team.

I wish you lots of luck and look forward to reading more posts from you. If I can lose weight, anyone can. Please trust me on that. I thought I was meant to live heavy for the rest of my life. Now I know I am not.

Literally the same situation I found myself in. I reached my highest, 370, about 2 years ago, and had been losing and gaining the same 20 pounds up until about 6 months ago.

There was a long period of time I just didn't care about losing weight. It seemed hopeless. I accepted that I was going to be overweight for ever. Miserable. Tired all the time.

Then one day something clicked in my brain, and I thought to myself 'this is ridiculous.' Just because I was carrying around a big body, didn't mean I had to be unhealthy and unhappy all the time.

The very first thing I did was start adding vegetables to every meal. Initially I didn't restrict anything. For instance I'd still get my favorite take-out meal, a cheeseburger, but add a cup of steamed broccoli with it. Or I'd have eggs in the morning, but eat them on top of cooked spinach.

After about a month of doing this, I began craving the healthy stuff. Now that I was giving my body the vitamins and minerals it needed, I had more energy. I didn't want the cheeseburger anymore because I knew how run down my body would feel after eating it.

Only within the last several weeks have I added a structured exercise routine. It was a rough start at first. A lot of pain and icing after that first workout, but it's been getting easier.

I've only lost 15lbs, but I feel leaps and bounds better than I did this time last year, and right now for me that's the most important thing.

I'm in a similar boat and can definitely relate to what you are saying! I don't have much advice, but wanted to say that you can definitely do this!

I think that was a really smart way to get started. Eating loads of vegetables is pretty important to my plan, too. And finding ways to really enjoy them, which I actually do enjoy them, so that I can train my 'foodie' tendencies in the direction of veggies rather than... other things.

Fifteen pounds is pretty impressive to me. Most people NEVER lose weight. Congrats on getting involved and taking control over your health. Stick around and let us know how you do!

Welcome Angela!

I second what Joe and many others said, you have taken that first step just by coming here. I am glad you came!

I also use the MyFitnessPal App. You can just do it on the computer as well. I would be glad to be your friend on there. My user name is IAmTheGlue there as well. Feel free to add me if you decide to use it.

I also do not exercise other than walking and gardening. I have a heart problem and if I get my heart rate up very much, my heart starts misfiring and it scares the bejeezus out of me. I still lose weight.

Know you did not gain weight over night. You will not lose it over night. Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Expect slip ups and get right back at it.

Get discouraged? Go look at the goal photos! There are some amazing stories there.

Congratulations on making the decision to do something better for yourself! As they say, "You will be so glad you started today a year from now!"

Thanks so much everyone! It's so nice to find some friends here. I have done oretty well with my eating this week, though my nightime "grazing" of anything and everything seems to be what does me in. Working on that though. Tried to start taking walks in the evening - after is is nice and cool and most people are inside, but so far I can literally only do 3 minutes out and 3 minutes back before my back starts screaming. Baby steps I guess...