Hey everyone

I have been living with depression since I was a child, and have been successfully keeping it in check for the last several years.

Until this week.

In the past I've also dealt with self injury issues, and with the current situation someone I care deeply about, is leaving (Egypt)... and the chances of me seeing him again are extremely slim.

This, even as I type it, sounds ridiculous. But it has been 4 years since I have felt this kind of connection to someone... and I only found out he was leaving in strict confidence from someone else, and I can't even tell him how much I'll miss him because I'm not supposed to know.

So now, I'm internalizing all of that, because of confidentiality issues and all I can think about is hurting myself.... which is something I have not done in at least 5 years.

I thought I'd post here to get some support maybe, I dunno. My friends in Egypt can help only so much, because I haven't hashed out my history with them, and I don't want to.... so I can't go to them, saying I feel like I want to hurt myself...

I'm at a bit of a loss.... and I was trying so hard to get on track and program with weight loss, and I've spent the last 2 nights crying on my couch after getting home from work. I am so unmotivated to do anything.... and that's why I'm seeking some support.

Hello, sorry to hear about your situation

It certainly sounds stressful. It must be hard given that you cannot convey your emotions to the man in question. Will you be unable to contact him when he has gone? Will he ever come back?

If you don't feel comfortable discussing your self injury issues with your friends in Egypt, could you perhaps reach out to a friend back home or elsewhere? I know it's not quite the same, but perhaps a long chat over email, IM or on Skype with an old friend could help?

Hope you feel better soon xx