Hi all,

First time poster. It is wonderful to see a site like this where people can give and get support, I find that an outlet to vent these days can be hard to come by! To make my story brief, I was an athlete my how life and fortunate enough to earn a scholarship to the division 1 level. It was fantastic, I could eat anything I wanted, as much as I wanted and if anything had trouble keeping the weight on! I hung my sport up 18 months ago and have gone from a lean and mean 185 lbs to 243. I am finding it so hard to motivate myself to diet or exercise, perhaps because my whole life I 'had' to do it. Regardless, I can hardly stand the sight of myself anymore and I know my former teammates are gossiping, "Hey, did you see how much weight he gained?!". It is rather depressing. Anyways, when I used to work out I left the gym feeling invigorated, a sense of accomplishment, proud of what I had done and ready to tackle the day. Now when I leave the gym I just feel disgusting and depressed. It's a horrible feeling, especially knowing that the workout I just did realistically did not even put a dent in my weight loss goal. I was wondering if anyone else had these types of emotions/feelings and what they did to overcome them. For probably the 10th time in a year and a half I have 'kick started' my weight loss regime, I really do not want to have to start it an 11th. Thank you for any and all help!

Hi and welcome to the site.

Sorry to hear you've been struggling with your weight gain lately.

With every workout, you are one step closer to your weightloss goal. Never forget that.

You are doing well to pick yourself up, get motivated and workout in the gym, so well done!

There is a strong community here so I'm sure you'll find it useful. Whilst most of the members are women, there are also a few men around, with some dedicated male threads I think - so why not poke your head into those and speak to some like-minded guys too?

Best of luck with your weight loss goal. Hope you don't get to the 11th, but if you do, pick yourself back up and start again. You CAN do it!

See you around the forum.

You know what some jerk walked into the circuit training class I was in to weigh himself and looked down at me, all fat, red faced lying on the ground with a exercise ball between my legs, the other day someone shouted at me while walking with my partner to put a leash on that thing..

But If I was going to rely on other people I wouldnt feel very good about myself and as an overweight person you get a lot of flack but I wouldnt worry about the flack while losing weight within a year (which FLIES by) they wont have anything to snipe at weight wise or are you going to hide away and feel sorry for yourself because of what other people might think?

It sounds like being active before was done for other people or as part of a team so you have to find your own self worth and inner strenght accepting things are not the same, things in the past always seem rosy and some people are toxic so dont dwell on them.


Just power on through, but dont be afraid to mix things up to do things that you find enjoyable!

I haven't been on a sports team since I was a preteen, but I have been a gym rat for more than 20 years. I am used to being the ripped girl who is out on the floor lifting weight like a man. But every now and then? I fall off the wagon. I put on enough weight that I do not feel comfortable in revealing gym attire and do not want to face the stares of the other people at the gym who have seen me for years and can tell that I have put on weight. When that happens, I have been known to take a break from that kind of publicity and perceived judgment. I work out at home and run up the mountain to my house. I get myself back on track in private, and then I return to the gym.

Now I am in no way advocating a hiatus from life. But the goals we set for ourselves are hard enough without having to try to meet them in a public arena. So you might just want to give yourself a few months to work out at home or run in your neighborhood—or climb the steps in your house or use a treadmill or other equipment—until you have your confidence back. The key, however, is to do it. You don't want to end up feeling so safe that you don't meet your goal and don't get back out there again.

I know this might not sit well with everyone, but it works for me. It gives me the safe zone I need to meet my goals without being distracted by, or worse succumbing to, the negative voices I hear in my head when I feel (rightly or wrongly) that I am being judged. My focus shifts from everyone else to me—and, when I am really focused on me, I can get done what I need to get done.

I was going to suggest something similar. I remember several years back working out at a gym and losing over 70 pounds. I had buffed arms and could easily spend a few hours running, stairmaster,lifting weights, etc. I became the "go to" person at the gym for people who wanted to lose weight because everyone would comment on how good I looked etc. Well rewind a few years later and I was heavier than I began and so out of shape, I couldn't run 10 minutes. The thought of facing a gym (and definitely that gym which was much closer to me) was just too much for me emotionally. Rather than be discouraged from my workout routine, I invested in some DVDs and walked/ran at a park. Once I was more comfortable with my progress and relationship with the "gym experience", I started going back to the gym.

I'm a guy but was never an athlete in school. I was the overweight nerd (but still generally well liked because I was smart and had a good sense of humour). I have to admit that I used to resent all those buff guys who seemed to eat/drink (esp. drink) all they wanted because they were so naturally active.

But I have been up and down in my weight (currently down for the past 2 and a half years) and it's always a bit embarassing when you see people who knew you used to weigh less (a lot less). But I was lucky that no one ever made me feel bad about it. But I knew how to lose weight--I did it once before, so I just kept at it, even if I was regaining. I generally succeeded when something in my environment changed (something I didn't necessarily change but oh well).

It wasn't that long ago when I graduated from university. Trying to establish your adult life was so stressful and time-consuming. And this economy ain't helping matters. Taking time to exercise and watch your diet is hard to do. I commend you for taking on this undertaking. Don't give up.

You were once a very successful athlete, so probably have acquired certain skills and knowledge wrt fitness and health. Apply them to your life and modify them that will best fit you. But who are you? What are your interests and passions? Aah, that's the thing. You're just figuring that out. We all are figuring that out.

Maybe the type of exercise you do no longer excite you. So, I also want to suggest that with this new life, it's also a good time to meet new people (without losing touch on your old friends) and try new things. New coworkers, join new programs and clubs. When I was younger, I joined a Dragon Boat club. Maybe take a class to learn a new language. Once I earned actual money, I travelled more, I ate at different restaurants (trying out new foods, often healthier than what I would eat as a university student), I bought my own place and made sure no junk food was never in my home. Losing weight is a very personal experience, but people always think there is only one way of doing it.

One thing I definitely do believe you need to do is to not expect that you will lose weight so quickly. Celebrate each small victory--including a workout you completed. I don't know, but that one comment really stood out to me. I don't recall ever feeling badly about myself after I completed a workout (as long as I worked out hard, of course). You probably know that diet is the most important aspect of weight loss (by a long shot), but don't give up on your exercise!