When I was 18, I exercising and eating healthy because my step mom was kind enough to get me personal training for graduation. At the time, I was 317 lbs...I thought I would never see that number again. Over the next 5-6months I lost 50 pounds. Every one at the gym I was going to thought I was amazing, I was getting compliments all the time. The owner of the gym asked me to speak at a class at the gym. I slowly started gaining the weight back. When I reached 295, I got my head back in the game, and lost the 30 pounds again. In the last 2 years, I have totally given up on myself. I don't care about being healthy anymore. I have gained back those 50 pounds I was so proud to lose, PLUS some. I am now 22 years old, and 345 pounds. My feet hurt every day when I get home from work (I work in fast food). I get winded all the time. My boyfriend lives in a third story apartment, and I hate having to walk up the stairs to see him. It's uncomfortable to cuddle with him. And most of the time, I don't even feel attractive enough to be with him. It's so embarrassing to admit to myself that I weigh 200 pounds more than he does. Today I was looking at pictures of myself when I went to Disneyland with my family (which was 2 years ago)...and I thought I looked pretty good...back then I thought I didn't look all the much different between 317 and 265...now I see that I did look totally different. I am very depressed, and most of the time I am pretty angry. I won't pretend that the anger and depression are all because I don't take care of myself, but I know that it contributes. Reading everything I have just written, I see that I should have plenty of motivation to take care of myself, and yet, somehow, I just don't care. I guess, if there is a question to be asked, it's: How do you find the motivation to do something about your health, when in your mind, you just don't care anymore?

Motivation fades over time. It's determination that gets the job done. I have zero motivation after the first week of trying something new (I like to say its cuz of my ADHD) but me being sick of hating my body gives me determination to do something. I have to fight myself and talk OUT LOUD to myself everyday just to get my *** to the gym.

I like to keep a picture of me that I HATE and use it to keep me going. If I feel to lazy to exercise or if I want to eat the entire bag of chips (which I can do with no problem), I look at the picture and realize that I do NOT want to be that person anymore.

Perhaps the idea of losing so much weight seems insurmountable and keeps you from trying. Try starting with a smaller goal of like 5 lbs. When you do that, lose another 5, and so on. I find that my motivation comes and goes. But my perseverance is not lacking. I keep trying, no matter how unmotivated I am feeling at that moment. Because I know more than anything that my lack of resolve at one moment in time is not enough to wipe out how awful I feel that I let myself get to this condition again. And as long as I am trying, I cannot fail. Giving up equals failure, and so does not starting at all. Let everyone on this forum be your motivation!

I feel the same way! I lost like 75 lbs and than I gained it all back and it almost seems impossible to get rid of it! I am so unmotivated right now. It's so hard.

I've been where you are. I've been fat for a long time but between the ages of 14 and 23 I gained something like 100 lbs. In the past five years alone I gained 40 lbs.

Sometimes I cared and sometimes I didn't. Sometimes eating whatever I liked and being invisible to men was enough. I was happy to hide in my house and live in a fantasy world. But being constantly afraid of dying because of my weight, being frustrated at not being able to fit into anything, being stared at and laughed at because of my size, and experiencing physical pain because of my weight made me care, really care, for the first time in a long time.

You've lost enough weight in the past to do it again. You know how to do this. But you say you just don't have the motivation. I know how that feels, too. But look at it this way: You're 22 years old and weigh 345 lbs. While you might be coping with all that extra weight now, in ten years time, maybe even five, you will not be coping. The pain in your back and joints will be too much to bear. You might even be experiencing chronic heart problems and diabetes. You will look back on now, when you were 22 years old, and resent yourself for not doing anything about your weight. For wasting your twenties, the prime of your life.

I used to resent myself for wasting my teen years being fat. And then I turned 23 and realized I was wasting my twenties as well. I know dieting isn't fun. I've been driving myself crazy with this, especially when the scale stalls. But I've lost 22 pounds now (I started at 307) and even 20 pounds can make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself.

Get back on that horse now and don't waste any more time. Picture your future and what you want to see there. I'm sure it's not more of this, which is exactly what will happen if you don't take control.

I agree with some of the other posters, motivation just goes away sometimes. When I got dumped that took away all of my motivation. Since then I've gained back 10lbs. I know that's not a lot, but I'm so mad at myself because I worked SO hard to get from 190 to 180. It really was a struggle, and now I'm right back there. And I keep thinking, what's the point? I don't have anyone to look good for anymore. But I just try to keep trucking. If I can't find the energy to run, I try to do the elliptical. If not that, I try to take the dog on a longer walk. I almost trick myself - the long walk is for the dog, not me.

I like what Candeka said, "Motivation fades over time. It's determination that gets the job done."

Very good advice!!

Friend, you have done this before and you CAN and WILL do it again!! I know you got the power within you

Just take it day by day..

I've been at this for nearly a year straight. I wasn't motivated all the time! There were times where I just wanted to eat whatever or forget counting calories. At this point though it's just ingrained in me. I do it automatically.

Like others said, looking at the path ahead of you can be daunting. It's what made me fail before I even started so many times before. I always looked at the charts, saw what a person my height would have to weigh and just said forget it, I could never go down that far and I would just be fat forever.

When I stopped looking forward so much, it became a lot easier. Instead, I just looked at the immediate. I celebrated every pound I lost and when I got an account here halfway through, it was awesome to update my ticker for every pound I shed. I did have an end goal, but I didn't pay too much attention to it at all and just focused on what I was doing right then and there and right at that moment. The scale kept going down and it seemed like in no time at all I reached my goal and then shot right past it.

Now I look behind me, at where I came from and it's like WHAT REALLY? I DID THAT? and it seems impossible but I did it.

Just focus on NOW, right NOW and forget about your goal. Leave it there, in the future and just worry about how you're changing your habits and getting healthier.

Sounds like you're in a very tough spot OP. Start up a list of goals. Keep them small, achievable. Also, include areas besides just weight loss and appearance. For me, motivation has a big momentum component to it. Once I start being productive, it's easier to continue to stay constructive and positive.

You may also want to consider some professional (therapy/meds) type of help. Hope you can figure out what will work for you.

Nuff said.

Thank you everybody for your advice. It really does seem like a daunting task to lose so much weight. I know that if I start doing everything at once, that I will be dooming myself to fail. The apartment complex I live in has a clubhouse available to me, and I think I am going to start taking advantage of it. There's a racket ball court and a mini gym (tread mill, eliptical, weights), and a swimmming pool. There's even a pool table and ping pong table. Maybe I'll treat myself to a game of pool for every half hour of exercise I do. Hopefully this will help me get started on the right track again. Thanks again everybody.

What a lucky girl you are!!! Mini gym and swimming pool so close to you. I would die for that hehe

You can do it