Welcome to the discussion group, support group, diet coach group, diet buddy group relating to the two books by Dr. Judith S. Beck:and the first bookThe Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Therapy (CT).

The Complete Beck Diet for Life expands the earlier work and includes a food plan with suggested menus. From the cover:This is a place to discuss the Beck strategies and our daily efforts, to receive and provide support, and, for some of us, is where we serve as on-line diet buddy (coach) to each other.

If you’ve arrived from a search engine, you’ve landed at the site of 3 Fat Chicks (3FC), a remarkable place for those interested in a healthy life style, including mindful eating, exercise, and weight loss. More about the site, including how to register so that you can post, can be found here.

The books are available on Amazon through the 3FC store by clicking their names above; buying through 3FC helps to cover the costs of running this site.

You can find the list of previous (or more current) monthly Beck threads here on 3 Fat Chicks via:

List of Monthly Beck Threads for Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Spent the day working with plumbers without eating about it, CREDIT moi. I always feel strong emotions when contractors are around; there's tension trying to prevent something irreversible from happening. Did well enough with the plumbers and on plan with eating (CREDIT moi).

Joy (gardenerjoy) – 51,300 Kudos for November.

FutureFitChick – Good luck in your very busy days.

Pam (pamaga) – LOL at your goal weight photo - can't wait to see it. [Haven't seen Sex and the City - I'm a bit behind in my TV watching.]

Tazzy - Avoiding treats from a co-worker is a big deal, Kudos. It's easy to try to make that an exception. Being in shape for a cruise is a great goal. Where are you going?

Robin (4EverLearning) - Yay for a sane response to Nutrisystem desserts arriving.

BB (bellabruna) - Oooops . . . sorry you didn't see my response back then We tend to post the results of the strategies we're working on, each in our own way, daily when we can. It's particularly useful during Stage 1 when some of the strategies are new and feel a bit awkward. Give it a try in whatever style feels right for you. Don't worry right away trying to write responses; it takes a while to get comfortable with the other posters - it's the daily accountability that's most important.


maplover – Yep, it's easy to avoid actually working the Beck strategies since they seem so simple. Daily accountability helps to counter that. (The first book is, indeed, called the pink book.) I like your Advantage Card - simple and to the point.

Hollyp – Ouch for the emotional pain of the scale not following your goals. The standard two pieces of advice are: patience - bodies have their own agenda, and rethink your goals - sometimes our bodies are quite happy where they are. Have you measured your body fat? It might be at a low level already with all the walking that you do.

Readers -

Hi folks/coaches/friends... I have been having a 'pitty party'. (a phrase Dh's mom would say to the kids in their family if they are feeling sorry for themselves) I need to stop it now. I need to say OH WELL! Yes, it's not fair that I have to watch my sodium, calories, etc. Much of what ails me has to do with weight. Weight is eating to much, of course. I have been journalling, measuring and logging food. Credit.

So.. I've made my plan, got out my cards and journal and I will carry on.

Thanks, as always, for being such supportive, wise, and kind folks.

Hi Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

It has been hectic and yet I continue to remind myself to "make time for dieting". Yesterday was our 19th anniversary, which was going to be spent quietly on the Eastern Slope. Mom had a cancellation of her appt. for today so we jumped in the car and headed West. As we travelled I thought of celebratory pizza and said NO CHOICE. I made a healthy meal at home and it was satisfactory. I can plan a dinner out while we're here which might include friends and a healthier fare. I'm Grateful today that I have Beck skills to help me navigate through daily decisions. Yesterday my spontaneous exercise was running upstairs before breakfast to weigh in even though I could have just as easily let it slide for a day. *credit*
I'm headed to the pool for some outdoor water aerobics this morning and will remember my warm hat.

Good Morning everyone!

Good day yesterday. Ate OP, even had a 200 calories left but wasn't hungry so saw no need to eat them. Got my planned exericse at boot-camp, weighed, read ARC, ate slowly and mindfully, left a bite and ate sitting down every time. Was the first day in awhile that I had not eaten something not on my plan.

BBE What is going to occupy your time once all your renovations are done? Our cruise is from Tampa and will stop in Cozumel, Cayman Islands, Belize and Honduras. Very excited about it and more so because in mid Feb it will be stinking cold and snowy in Alberta and we'll get to escape it for a few days.

pamatga Love the idea of your photo with all your shoes. I think that's a great reward, although I am not much of a shoe person. My non food rewards tend to be centered around trips to the spa.

Lexxiss Credit for healthly choices and realizing that "No Choice" is also a very good decision.

beverlyjoy Credit for leaving the pity party behind you.

bellabruna Welcome to the group. There are some very wise, helpful people on the Beck page.

hollyp Have you done measurements lately, are your clothes fitting differently? I personally have decided that I will not let the number on the scale define all the accomplishments I have made on this journey. My clothes fit better, I'm buying smaller sizes and the things I do at both Zumba and Boot camp are getting easier because of all the work. I saw somewhere on this website a quote that "the scale is only one measurement, it's the most convenient, but not always the most accurate" (or something to that effect). I remember that phrase alot and one of my cards is "The number on the scale is just information".

4EverLearning Credit for your plan for one Nutri-System dessert at a time. Hope your eharmony experience goes smoothly.

Hello to everyone else!

Good day coaches.

Had a grand surprise at my WW weigh-in. I have metabolized 2.6lb, for a loss of 11.4lbs in two weeks. So exciting. So encouraging. WW was the *last thing* I ever thought would work. And yet, here it is, suiting me just fine. I am soooooooooo grateful.

I had to put Beck skills to work when I came home from the weigh-in. I made myself a nice little egg sandwich, which I sat down to eat *credit*, but while making it I kept getting sabotaging thoughts urging me to "make MORE...it's not enough... get more..." I hadn't even eaten it yet or taken it to the table. Man. Relentless. I told myself I would sit, and calmy eat, and then decide. I've decided to make coffee. Breakfast is over.

Not much on the agenda. I postponed the craft show visit to Sunday when DH wants to attend a video game/pinball mahine/arcade games auction. He suggested that the space in the hallway that has shelving with his mini arcade stuff on it could be a suitable spot for an arcade machine. I think, and said, that if it doesn't break the floor, he can go right ahead. I'm hoping for a pinball machine myself.

gotta go. Have a good Monday.

Good Morning,
It seems I have missed a great many postings in the last few days. I am not going to try and catch up. Just a few thoughts.

I love the motivations we find that keep us preservering in the face of food insanity - Pam's shoes, BBE's resistance to buying new jeans, gardenerjoy's motivational % OP idea ( which I might try.) All these things seems so insignificant but they are really heroic endeavors. I was thinking this morning that so few of us are trying to stem the tide of obesity. We are in a minority making baby steps into a hurricane. I don't think I am being over dramatic. I teach 8th grade English and this year for the first time I have a least TEN students morbidly obese (some over 200 pounds) and 40 % of the rest are overweight. Anyway, a great journey starts with a single step and I love to hear about everybody's single step.
As to Hollyp frustrations about scale. After over a year in this program I change my goal weight from 145 to 150. The final chapters of Beck talk a lot about finding peace with weight, (I summarize) The question - What will I get for that extra 5 pounds as opposed to the time and obsession required to get there? In the end, I wasn't willing to sacrifice quality of life. I have a 9yo boy and I want to just enjoy him rather than obsess about my weight one more minute. I have had enough of that. ( I have been over 200 pounds twice in my life.)
It is also interesting to me that we are about the same height and you are about 20 pounds lighter than me (I am 48yo). What would you think looking at me? I pose this question because I have a friend who told me her weight which is comparable to mine and I thought, "But I always think you look good?" Do I expect more from me than I expect of others. Anyway, just thoughts.
As for me, Day 9 (again) I have dropped two of the five pounds I had gained and it is completely a result of a safe food environment and sitting while I am eating. I have yet to go back on rigid eating program. Exercise today will be treadmill. Tomorrow will be Pilates and Yoga.

internet woes...couldn't get this to post yesterday:

report: didn't read my cards, weighed (down 3.6 from goal), ate slowly and mindfully, got planned and spontaneous exercise, contacted my diet buddy.

Holly -- if you wake up from hunger and you can afford the calories, I say eat, and what Bill said: if this is a common issue for you, take it into account and put it into your plan. Re: losing 'only' 2 pounds this week: That's actually a very good loss, especially since you have only a little to lose and your goal is on the low end for your height. Re: following plan...what is your plan? Are you at the point in Beck where you're supposed to be planning every bite a day ahead of time and writing it down, then sticking to that plan without deviation? Because that's a good step to force yourself to follow until you've mastered it. You won't ALWAYS have to follow a plan religiously, but if that's one of your tasks right now, you should definitely follow your plan. Re: eating at 2pm after you'd had lunch. You say you were hungry -- had you eaten a reasonable lunch? Because if you had, you shouldn't have been =hungry= at 2pm. Can you describe what you were feeling? Did you try to ignore it for fifteen or twenty minutes to see if it would go away? What was the healthy thing you ate?

Pam -- do you know where you are on the pre-diabetic scale these days? It's great that even at your heaviest you never got into actual diabetes.

FFC -- Yay on being down 1.5!

gardenerjoy -- good for you for talking aloud to yourself because it's effective. I do that, too.

BBE -- Good job reminding yourself of some of the reasons you want to maintain your weight to help keep you on track.

maplover -- good for you for not trying to rush the process. I think that's a crucial thing for a lot of us, and it's one of the reasons I dislike goals that require us to be a certain weight by a certain date. You'll get there when you get there, and deadlines can be counterproductive for a lot of us. And good for you for acknowledging that you shouldn't skip tasks. I think the tasks we want to skip are often the ones we need most. A lot of people want to skip getting a coach. It's hard to have to admit to someone that you need this help. But I absolutely think that for me, having a coach/buddy has been crucial. It's one of the Beck strategies that I will continue with for a very long time, possibly forever, along with daily weighing.

GD all! Happy December and a new blank page to fill!

Although it is unseasonably cold, the sun is very bright right now and that makes it seem warmer.

bellabruna!

Hollyp, I think returning to what is an "acceptable" end weight is something that most of us both struggle with and then finally make some kind of decision we can live with. Dr. Atkins, of the Atkins diet fame, had in one of his early books (which I have) that there are two weights we need to consider: the weight which we are the most healthy at and the weight we "vainly" want to be. I have always kept that in mind since it has been close to 40 years since I have seen my goal weight that I have made as my end weight. Before this is all said and done, I may even drop my end weight to 125 lbs. However, in terms of health that would be the absolute lowest I "should" be for my height and frame. Health wins out for me!

Already I have had to make some visual adjustments to my changing body. At first, I did not even like the fact that I was losing the fullness in my face. I had become so accustomed to it that when I finally starting seeing my cheekbones, I was not happy. I also have begun to look more like my Mom, who passed away in November 2008. It is sometimes "painful" to see "her" looking back at me in the mirror. It reminds me she is "gone".

My understanding is that your body even continues to "morph" up to a full year after you reach your end weight so that might be something else to consider before you make a "final" decision about your weight.

onebyone Major on your 11 lbs gone forever!! WTG with practicing your Beck skills with "less is best" meal. It also takes us time to readjust our eyes when it comes to portion sizes. I remember my Mom always saying about me, "Your eyes are bigger than your stomach!" The other day we had lunch out when we were doing our errands and I was shocked that I was nearly full after a cup of clam chowder!! There was a plate of hot food waiting besides the empty bowl. I really felt perplexed about what I "should do". I gave the majority of the food to my husband but it really made me think about how what used to seem like "so little" now is "enough". Give it time, it will come around for you.

Speaking of which, how Tazzy handled her "enough" situation was "spot on". Bravo, Taz!!

Lexxiss Someone once told me that "No Choice" actually is a choice. I hear you about celebratory food. I have even once "defined" being sick as a "special occasion". Really??? Well, the lid wasn't always screwed on tight with me. There was a few marbles loose there.

Beverlyjoy Pity the poor soul who has no one to share his pity with. We love ya, sweetie!!

4EverLearning GJ on defining "one is enough" on the desserts. So, has the fish been biting on eharmony?

maryann I have often remarked to Paul (DH) that I don't ever remember any fat kids when I was growing up. "Biggest Loser' better build a kid's ranch. I think there will definitely be a need for it!! How absolutely very sad! Those kids are losing out on so much of their childhood as a result.

Bill GJ on standing your ground with the "nibbles" when faced with dealing with workmen. Master Plumbers can carry a lot of "Attitude" I found out. I mean, let's face it, they hold our "waste disposal" in their hands.

For 11/30: (last day of the November food accountability challenge)

Calories: 1779
Carbs: 200
Fat: 57
Protein: 106
Fiber: 25
Sodium: 1617

My understanding is that for December we are going to re-do a Fruit n Vegetable challenge from last spring. Today, I was eating fresh radishes from my garden with the last of the Thanksgiving turkey. I say, my garden will support my efforts.

Have a good day, all!!

Pam

And for today: report: Weighed (up a pound to 2.8 beneath my goal, so today will be a low-cal day for me), got planned and spontaneous exercise walking to and from my class even though it was very cold, had a wine-induced snackfest last night which probably explains my up number today on the scale. Just learned a neighbor and good friend died this morning after a three-week stay in the hospital, which has me pretty down. She will be sorely missed in our neighborhood and our kindervelt (fundraising group for children's hospital) chapter. When I heard, the next thing I did was open a piece of mail with a half-off coupon for a local chinese restaurant's lunch buffet, but I resisted the temptation to use food to comfort me, especially when I'd planned a low-cal day. Good for me.

Tazzy -- Yay for being on track for your goal weight by the cruise date!

Pa -- great idea to have a photo taken of you with all your 'goal' shoes! That's a great way to keep reminding yourself of how much you've accomplished!

Holly -- our weight fluctuates from day to day. Being a pound up from yesterday can't be real unless you overate to the tune of 3500 calories more in than out. I weigh daily and did when I was losing so I could see those fluctuations and get desensitized to them. Especially when you're already this light, you will absolutely have up and down days. And what Robin said -- when you build muscle, your weight can stay the same while your size drops. Have you been measuring?

BB -- I think you must have missed all the posts welcoming you to the forum, some specifically affirming that we'd be happy to be your diet buddies/coaches. I see you only have two posts in total -- maybe you didn't realize you need to come back and read the responses, then post every day with your updates? I tried to pm you, too, to make sure you see these now, but you don't have any contact info on your profile. Yes, we'd all love to be your diet buddies/coaches, and you can be ours.

gardenerjoy -- yay for finishing NaNoWriMo!

Robin -- LOL on your head swirling about men! And yay for reminding yourself that tomorrow, you can have another dessert!

FFC -- good for you for putting your off track eating behind you!

maplover -- can you come up with more advantages, and more detailed ones? The more you have, the better it will work. I have probably 30.

BBE -- Yay for not eating about plumbers!

Beverlyjoy -- Good for you for realizing that because it's not fair doesn't mean it's not reality!

Debbie -- yay for saying NO CHOICE to pizza!

onebyone -- yay for being down 11.4 pounds in two weeks! I love WW, actually. It's another of those things you have to buy into, though. If you work that plan, it'll work for you. YAY YOU for dealing with sabotaging thoughts that you weren't making enough food even though you hadn't eaten yet!

maryann -- It always surprises me when I discover friends who are the same height as me (and who I think look just fine) weigh more than I do.

I move my ticker on the 1st of the month. December is the first month that my ticker shows me at normal weight. Yay! I'm pleased to have lost a pound in November while following my maintenance plan.

Spontaneous exercise. My desk looks over a loft into our two-story sun room. In the wintertime, when the sun is low, there are an amazing number of ways that the sun ends up glaring into my space. Each time there's a glare, I gallop down the steps to pull the appropriate shade. Some mornings, as the sun moves, it takes three separate trips. I used to grumble about that sort of thing, but now my thought is "Yay! Spontaneous exercise!"

Planned exercise. Has anyone used one of those mini-trampolines? I had a dream about one last night and woke up this morning thinking that I wanted one. I'd love to hear your experience.

WI: NC in kgs, Exercise:+50 50/1300 minutes for December, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Another duper late working day/night. Food was OK today except a cookie that I intended that came topped with as many calories in icing and chocolate chips on top. I did ask of there were uniced ones and left a tiny bit in the bag. Left food on plate at B & D.

Hi to everyone.

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Plumbers are gone; the house has working heat; let the cold come, we're ready. Walked (CREDIT moi) to dinner at a BBQ place to celebrate. Faced some serious opportunities to overeat. Was worried that I'd actually eat the portion served, but ate slowly, savored the taste, noted that I was becoming satisfied so finished the cole slaw and beans and left a huge mound of pulled pork for a dogie bag. Left a chunk of the corn bread for my bite not consumed. CREDIT moi for good enough for a restaurant.

onebyone – Do I ever know that Sabotaging Thought, " "make MORE...it's not enough... get more..." - even when I put raisins on my cereal, I have this urge to put more, more, more. I've been known to count raisins just to avoid those thoughts.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Congrats upon registering "normal weight" - may it become your new norm. (Thought of you when I laughed at a t-shirt, "I avoid cliches like the plague.")

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Happy 19th Anniversary!!! May there be many more. Trying to understand "outdoor water aerobics" in December, in Colorado, while wearing a warm hat. Are you part penguin or something?

Beverlyjoy – Yay for "I will carry on."

FutureFitChick – Ouch for cookies with a double whammy on top.

Pam (pamaga) – I do admire that you're still harvesting veggies in December.

maryann - Love the question, "Do I expect more from me than I expect of others?" - we can be so hard on ourselves . . . and food is always available with the lure that it will make us feel better.

Tazzy - Kudos for 100% on your food plan - great to know that you can do it. [Next major adventure is not yet chosen. I did talk with a friend who teaches science in the local schools - they're always looking for volunteers to help out.]

Val (va1erie) – This site has been having some difficulties lately, which could have contributed to your Internet woes. Congrats on dropping below your goal weight. Sending supportive thoughts as you deal with the loss of your good friend and neighbor. Major Kudos for not resorting to food to deal with grief.

Readers -

Well yesterday I did do my advantages cards and did implement an IPhone-based reminder system that worked 4 out of the 5 times I had planned.

valerie thanks for the suggestion to make more and more detailed advantages. I will think about that. My mom has been very ill and over Thanksgiving a friend suggested I give her situation over to the universe, saying in very specific terms what I would like to see happen. And you know what? It started happening. So maybe the same for advantages, eh?

Today I am choosing a paleo style eating plan (80% on 20% off) and will be tracking calories to stay within 1400-1600. My backup will be WW though I have so much revulsion for that having tried and failed there so many times that I hesitate to go back. Hey maybe that's an advantage, eh? Never having to go back to WW again ; )

I have to report losing 2 lbs this week without really having implemented anything.

Beverlyjoy I can identify with the pity party.

onlyone "relentless" yes I would describe the desire to eat everything in the room that way. Also kudos for weight loss.

Joy normal weight Woo Hoo! and NanoWriMo (next year I want to try this!

Hey Everyone!!

I'm sorry I've been MIA, this is getting into crunch time with work and the holiday rush. I'm going to sit down and get caught up this weekend. I did just want to jump in and report that...

I was at 189.6 this morning!!

4.6 lbs until I'm half way through this journey!

I have been so anxious, especially since I crossed over into onederland, to be past the half way mark, where there's more behind me than ahead of me... and it's almost there!

My goal for the beach trip is 135 and for the MS125 ride *I think* will be 125 (as little weight as possible with that distance of riding!). I think my new road bike has been good luck!

Best to everyone, WELCOME NEW KIDS and I'll be back in touch soon!