I used to weigh 138 lbs 5'4" before the madness of my extreme weight gain started. I had fluctuated between 135 and 150 for most of my life. When I went to law school, I gained over 30 lbs, reaching up to a weight of 174 lbs. I am currently at 168 and trying to lose weight, but i find that anxiety and the mind control is what hinders met he most.

do you ever get that feeling when you lay down in bed that all your fat is spilling over?
Do you hate that feeling of holding your laptop in bed and looking down on it only to feel a double chin form largely at your neck?
do you hate looking in the mirror and not being able to find your cheekbones?
do you hate that you don't fit in 90% of your wardrobe?
do you hate the feeling that maybe you arent being accepted at a job because theyd rather hire someone that not only looks better, but looks like they are happy with how they look?
do you hate that after you pee or go to the bathroom, you want to weight ourself hoping you lost a few ounces?
Are you ever tempted to develop an eating disorder, binge, or take laxatives to eliminate everything? detox? take diet pills?

I want my life back. I want me back.

This is literally my life, everything you posted. It is truly sad. Another thing I do is stay on a diet for one day and feel lighter, then binge the next day and look in the mirror the nxt morning and feel like I look 20 lbs heavier, even though its impossible to be 20 lbs heavier in 24 hours!
Not feeling beautiful so so horrible and I went my whole life feeling just that. But there are some tricks that can boost your confidence, even just for a little while!

I put my make up on extra nice some days, other days, maybe I'll change my hair up and cut my bangs. Sometimes I treat myself to a new top or bag. These things get me through the rut!

I feel your pain, I really do. And every day I fail on a diet the next day I vow to go to extremes to loose the weight (crash diet, water pills) but I always FAIL and the fall is EVEN WORSE. The best thing you can do is give yourself time, don't say "i gotta loose this before then" thats my biggest downfall. Just remember one day you will feel like you again, and stay focused on that!

Thank you Dmandel! im glad im not the only one with image issues! It really takes over every second of your life!

All of those things except the eating disorder part I really don't need more trouble.

What I totaly hate: My freaking kissing thighs. All my pants are worn down between the legs in 6 months!!!! It is outrageous. I want my gap back.

Also the bingo wings and the podge! And the freaking orange peel skin on me butt.

I know none of my problems is huge, but I'd rather have none than a little bit of everything.

Good side of things is that ALL my problems have become a bit less as I lose weight. I can only hope they will dissappear.

We are the same person...I just gained 30lbs in my first year of law school...and (it seemed like anyway) all the women in my class were smaller than me even when I was only 140.

Hang in there. I find that my "trick" for feeling thinner is to go for a run. When I get back I feel like I've lost weight and recommitted myself to doing this for the long haul.

Chubbykins--I know exactly how you feel about wearing pants out! I'm pretty much pear-shaped and I've NEVER had a gap, but it's especially bad now!