Ok I was wondering if you guys could comment on this. I think I'm having a day of insanity. Angels on one shoulder, devils on the other..........

All day long, I've been thinking crazy thoughts like ....

Devil: " oh you should just give this up now......you've always been heavy......always will be"

Devil: "heavy is your identity......who would you be if you were thin?"

Devil: "if you lose too much more weight, people will flirt with you and you'll be uncomfortable with the attention and OMG! where might that all lead??!!!" eek!

Devil: " you have so much more to lose......it will take so long.....can you really hang in over the long haul?"

Angel: "if not now, when? so what if it takes a year? if you do nothing, another year will go by and you will be back to where you started....no progress at all! the trip of a thousand miles begins with the first step.......etc etc"

As you can see the devils are winning..........




How does one keep positive over the long haul? Am I crazy or does it seem like I am afraid of losing weight and what is up with that?

Do I need meds or something?

Thanks for letting me vent - Terri

Terri
I would bet that everyone of us have had just those thoughts at one time or another. Even today I caugth myself thinking what is the point it is going to take forever, but you know what I shoved it aside and gave myself lots of time to do it. I am not setting a date, but I would like to be below 200 by Spring at least if not before.
Just dont be so hard on yourself, and as for worrying about flriting with someone, hey what is wrong with flirting. I live to flirt!!
Virginia

You're not crazy. Or we both are, which is a possibility. We all go through this. For me it just happens to be a daily thing. The most important thing is that I know no matter how much I screw up my weight loss plan, I start over EVERY DAY. Yep, each and every single day. So even if I only have a few good hours OP each day, it's better than nothing. You can eat a lot of junk food in a few hours.

Honestly, I've been playing with the same 10-12lbs for almost three years. I just realized that the other day. I get off track, gain 'em back, get back on track, lose 'em....repeat as necessary. So my goal is to lose five pounds. Just five. Then I'll aim for another five. And another....and lo and behold....I'll have actually gotten somewhere.

So hang in there! One day on program is better than one day off program.

Hey! I've been going through this for 45 years! And I'm not going to stop. Maybe I'll lose weight before I die and look great in the coffin!
Never give up!

Terrigrrrl, what you're going through is perfectly normal. Crappy, but normal. The other girls are right... just take it a bit at a time. The big picture is too overwhelming. Count your minor accomplishments. Like last night... we were in bed and my DH said, "I'm hungry!", which is normally my cue to say, "Go and get us a snack." And he always does. But last night I just ignored him, and we didn't have a snack, and I'm so proud of myself. Big deal, huh? But it is!!!

You know what you could use though is some positive thinking... hang on... think I've got some links somewhere...

http://www.positive-thinking-positive-thoughts.com/

http://www.marin.cc.ca.us/~don/Study/2positive.html

Hang in there, hon. Don't let the "devils" get you down.

Wow! Your devil, and my devil must be friends because that what mine says to me too. But I try to ignore him, and listen to my angel , she's much nicer, and I like her better.

Remember when you feel bad, and it's getting to you, just put on some good music and dance!

Hey Welcome VelvetCyberpunk!
Hope you enjoy hangin with these crazy gals. We have a lot of fun, share a lot of sorrows, and care for each other. So stick around!
Virginia

Hi Velvet! Welcome

Thanks Ellis!

Oh Gee you guys..........thanks so much for letting me know I am not going off the deep end...hearing voices, all that.


It's been a tough week I guess. Yes, bad PMS - the kind that hits every 6 mos or so. Not so much pain or all that, but just lots of irrational thinking on my part and not sleeping well these past several days. eek!

I just found out that my hubby is travelling next week, back one week, then gone the next - makes it hard to hold down the fort while also trying to buy a house and take care of the kiddo while he's gone and work too....ok, I am whining now.

On top of it, my dearest baby brother asked me for a loan and I've been so torn. I've been burned before in loaning money to family and this is driving me nuts because we're close - but.......money and family.........uggh. it can cause bad blood.

Ok and don't you know that while cleaning out a closet, I found a pair of shorts from when I thought I was fat - size 12. Cripes if I thought I was fat way back then at size 12 - what must I be now? ok......let's not answer that......

and my 12 yr old darling daughter has been invited to go to an R-rated movie with her friend and the friend's mom. Gee....I can't allow her to go to an R movie........but I feel like the big meanie now.

I talked to my Mom yesterday and she was talking about her menopausal depression.........eek - maybe I should just go live in cave somewhere

Anyway, I know I'll feel better soon - hey! tomorrow is Friday after all

Thanks again you guys!

Terri

Oh I forgot to welcome Velvet Cyberpunk - u are too cool, nice to meet you



Terri - I love Sylvia Plath too

Terrigrrrl, you made the right decision about your daughter re: the movie, so don't even think about it. You're a good mom. And why don't you forget about the loan. Is it going to cause you more stress doing it or not doing it?
Sounds like you've got too much stuff dumped on you right now. You need to start saying NO to people, and make some time for yourself. Don't let everyone keep coming to you with their problems. If they want a psychologist, they should darn well pay for one. You've got enough of your own stuff to deal with.
Well, that's MY advice.
hugs, hon... xoox

WHAT? Me hear voices telling me to eat? NEVER!!!!!...........
shhh! They'll hear you.....besides, there isn't any cheesecake in the house......

I think I am on a first name basis with those voices.