We went away last Monday for 4 days in our caravan and I went with a plan. Certain pre-planned treats, along with swimming each day and a possible run or two depending on the weather etc.
Whilst we were away I did pretty good, mostly stuck to the plan and managed two good runs.
Unfortunately though when we had gone away DD was already sick and DH got sick on the Wed. So Thur and Fri with didn't go swimming and I didn't get much sleep. Thur I didn't feel great myself and by Fri I'd come down with the same thing as them, a bad head cold. When we got home on Friday I just felt so drained and it's like a switch was flicked back to the old me, the one who used to self-medicate with food, and that's what I've done for the rest of the weekend...
Friday night wasn't too bad, but Sat and Sun I've actually ended up binging like I used to, eating all the things I haven't even touched for SO long, and eating as much as possible, just to try to feel better. Guess what... I don't feel better
We are all still sick although DD has gone to school and DH has gone back to work this morning, and I am back on plan. The progression of the head cold has gone onto our chests with us all having a hacking cough and trouble breathing. Monday is two classes at the gym for me usually and although I REALLY don't feel like going, I'm leaving in 15 mins and going to give the first one a try and see how I get on. I know if I get through one or both of them I'll feel so much more in control and positive, but I'm scared I won't last the first 5mins to be honest.
I'm scared because I proved to myself after two holidays spent binging earlier in the year that I can go away and stay in control, but hadn't figured on getting sick and those old demons coming back to haunt me.
I'm scared that if I can't do my classes today I'm going to feel weak and end up binging for another day and then tomorrow will be even harder to get back on plan... I'm scared to go on the scale to see what the number is after such an awful week... I'm scared I'm not going to be able to get through today and take back full control...
No advice etc needed really, just needed to vent.

I'm glad you posted, that means you are ready to get back. If you weren't you wouldn't have said anything.

You've already done the hardest thing in the world, and that is admitting it and now you are ready to take control again.

I am right there with ya on a bad/rough week. I was off all week. Not binging or making "bad" food choices, but not working out like I should and just...off. Then Saturday was my son's birthday party and forget it. Nothing on plan Saturday and Sunday.This morning I am cranky and the scale is bad and UGH. You at least have an "excuse" in that you are actually sick. Good luck at the gym! And yay for getting back on track!

We all get derailed from time to time. This is a lifelong journey, and no one is on plan perfectly for the rest of their life. Just put it behind you and move forward. Take care of yourself too, are you sure you don't have bronchitis? My daughter went weeks at college thinking she just had a bad cold and cough and it turned out she needed antibiotics for bronchitis.
Feel better soon!

I am sorry that you are not feeling well. Like Matt, I am glad that you posted. I think that it is good that you are scared because being scared will help you stop the binge. Get back on track and don't dwell on the past few days. You will be just fine!

Oh LM, I'm really sorry you had a hard time. Hope you are feeling better. For me, those weird, unexpected shocks, like the one you're describing, are the hardest to control.

It IS scary to get off track, but luckily now, we have the tools to get back on track.

I've been struggling myself lately, but it has been a HUGE relief for me to realize that even if I have a bad day from time to time, it's what happens day after day that matters.

You'll get it back.. You'll be in control once more. It will be up to you to TAKE it back and take it back you will. Because the alternative is no longer an option. A binge, a bad day , a bad week does not mean the end of the journey. I realized quite a bit ago that it's actually part of the journey; albeit an icky one. Thankfully those icky times are further and further apart and smaller and smaller in intensity.

Feel better and jump back on the track. Because really, the track is where we want to be. You will be relieved to be back; because the track is a great place to be.: The binge, it's a rare instance now.. The track - THAT'S the norm.

Robin thanks for reminding us that it is part of the journey. LM we have no choice but to get right back

LM - I agree with the others and would add: Get thee to a scale! Although it may not be pretty, it's part of getting back to reality. You may be up 5 or even 10 lbs after being sick and off plan for a few days, but I promise you that scale will NOT say 274 on it. Best to find out where you are so you can move forward from here! Avoidance is what makes the scale go up in leaps and bounds and finds us right back where we started.

I hope you are able to get to your exercise class, but don't worry if you can't finish. Rule of thumb is that if it's in your head then go exercise, if it moves to your chest you need to take it easy.

Get better soon!

I always have to white knuckle my way back to eating perfectly on plan after any kind of a hiatus. For me it takes about 3 days of clean eating to get back to my new "normal". You can do this! But you have to power through for a little while.

My old stand-by for illness was pop. It's not pretty!

Thanks for all the good advice guys, I really appreciate it.
I'm pleased to say that I made it through my two exercise classes, albeit with a struggle. I didn't do as high impact as I usually do and took lots of breaks as I really didn't feel good several times, but I knew I'd feel so much better if I could just stick with it, and I do.
I've been totally on plan so far today. Luckily I've been busy all day so haven't had time to think about food much or let the cravings start bugging me again, so if I can get to bedtime tonight then I think I'm good to go.
The scales are staying away til weigh in day on Friday I think though, really can't deal with the kick in the teeth I think I'd get. I just want to get back on track and into my usual routine, and I know the numbers will follow.
And one thing I have learned from this is that I need to have some strategies in place for illness in future...

I understand that scared feeling. It's strange how something that is so absolutely within our control, what we're putting in our mouths and chewing, can feel like it's so out of our control. Of course, this is just perception...we are 100% in control of it at all times, but it sure doesn't feel that way sometimes. And yes, that's scary. And frustrating.

I also suggest getting on a scale. It might hurt, but try hard to use it as encouragement to get back on plan. All is not lost. If anything, when you see the number, keep in mind that your body is probably retaining a good deal of water from being sick and also having more sugar and salt than it's used to. I bet if you weigh today, eat clean and perfectly on plan for the next few days, and weigh again, that you will see a satisfying weight drop.

We are not perfect, and these things happen. I lost nearly 60lbs in less than a year and have been maintaining for several months...so far I am a success story (of course, the story never ends, but as of today I have been successful in this journey). And I can assure you that I have had my bad meals, bad days, bad vacations, etc. About a week ago, we were at a football game event with tons of FREE vendors passing out Subway sandwiches, Dominos pizza, packs of oreo and chips ahoy cookies, plates of bbq, etc. I have avoided such obstacles in the past, but for some reason my self control failed me that day. I found myself mindlessly sneaking as many cookie packs as I could, going through the pizza line, grabbing an extra sandwich, etc. I FELT like that feeding frenzy was out of my control, even though it wasn't. Sure, I love all those foods, but I was left with a bellyache, guilt, remorse, and like you, fear of the damage I had done and at the fact that I had let myself go like that.

Well, I picked myself up, wiped the dust off, and got back on plan. A week later and my weight is perfectly back to normal, I am back in control, and the whole catastrophe is in the past. It won't be the last time something like that happens. All we can do is do our absolute best to avoid it, but when it does happen, get right back on plan. Because we KNOW that we're happier when we're on plan.

That's where I am right now - forcing myself to have three good days on plan to get back to a good place and continue losing. I have to remember why I like eating healthfully and moving, because I really do enjoy it and feel better, but sugar can obfuscate that a bit.

A few good, solid days and you'll be back at full confidence before you know it!