Hey guys

I'm looking for some advice...

So, I am currently at 156-157 pounds (fluctuating a bit), and I'm 5 foot 7.5 inches tall. I am looking a LOT better right now, and getting lots of compliments, saying how skinny I look, which is awesome lol.

I still want to get down to my goal weight of 135, but lately everyone is saying that i will look too skinny, and I'll look anorexic and such.

I don't really think that's the case, and I keep trying to explain to them that there is still extra weight there, I've just learned to dress well to hide those things.

What do you guys think? I mean, I know that 135 is a technically healthy BMI, but they are really insistant...

anyways, what do you guys think?

I have the exact same problem with some people in my family.

What I have learned to do is just ignore them or tell them what the healthy weight range is for my height and that I will stay somewhere in that range and not go below.

But don't let them stop you if you aren't comfortable with where you are yet, it is your body, not theirs

have you talked to a doctor or a dietician?


If I went off my personal friend's advice I'd get a plethora of crazy opinions, and thats all I'd think of them "crazy opinions".


You need to worry about whats healthiest FOR YOU! Focus on a healthy lifestyle and a healthy BMI. Granted, I wouldn't pick the absolute LOWEST bottom of the healthy BMI options for you (is that where your goal is? I'm not checking) But that's still my personal opinions. I have a friend who's favorite quote is "Opinions are like *******s, everybody's got one!"

I'd talk to a professional who can look at you IRL and tell you IRL whats the healthiest option for you. And remember YOUR opinion and the professional's opinion is the only one that counts. Are you living healthy? Are you doing this lifestyle change for the right reason? And are you taking care of YOU first and foremost? Do what's right for you, don't live your life based on your friend's opinions.

sorry to post again but just:

YOU need to know for YOURSELF that your decision is the right one FOR YOU!

Be confident in your decisions! Research them, be sure of them, YOU know this stuff better than anyone else for YOU!

Don't let other people guilt/pressure/be insistent about YOUR life choices. Tell them you KNOW what you're talking about, you can make good decisions for your life, you're not a small child, you're an adult and you know what you're doing.


I drove two hours this last weekend to visit my brother who went on a "know it all" rant about me being a vegetarian now. (I've been for the last 8 months for multiple reasons, but I haven't seen him since Christmas because he lives 12 hours from me)

I responded with all the health-reasons I made this decision and all the research I'd done and he STILL was telling me what I need to supplement my diet with. :rollseyes: Big Brother still thinks he has to tell his adult little sister what I should and shouldn't eat. And it was actually hard for me to think through this and be like "Boots, you are an ADULT, you can decide you're OWN DIET, establish a boundary here, and tell him he can keep his decisions for HIS life and your decisions for YOUR life!"

And I did, and he took it moderately well! LOL!

I'm basically where you are right now (about same height too). While every body is different in how weight is distributed, I am by no means stopping. 135 is a healthy BMI. If you get down to 145 and feel good there then stop. It's all up to you and what YOU feel comfortable at. Just saying that we have similar stats and I am not too skinny .

Isn't it funny how people think our weight is their buisness?

Alicia87--Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS on all you have accomplished!!!

I'm not a doctor so I can't tell you what is healthy or not, but as a yo-yo dieter I can tell you that sometimes those closest to us, have a hard time adjusting to the changes we've made. Those "well meaning" comments might not be comming from a place of concern for your health, but from fear that just because your weight has changed you are going to change. So I would recommend the following:

a-Have a checkup with your doctor, couldn't hurt to get a medical and unbiased opinion.

b-Take a hard look at who these "too skinny" comments are coming from, and ask yourself what is their motivation for saying this to me? How did they treat me when I was heavier, how are they treating me now? (Often people's actions reveal their true motivations)

c-Ask yourself, why at this stage in your journey are you still focusing on a number? Could you be starting to get a bit obsessive? (Not saying you are just trying to get you thinking)

d-Try switching your friends/family's attention away from the number on a scale, and start telling them about a fitness goal you would like to accomplish. This way they can still provide you with support but less pressure.

Ultimately you know your body, and you know what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable. It's listening to yourself that has gotten you this far, so I see no reason to doubt yourself.

Best of Luck.

Alicia- I understand where you are at. I officially told a group of my close friends that my goal weight was somewhere between 125-135/40. They all went in an uproar. I was compared to our friend who is 5'8" and 125. She is small framed and meant to be so. She is naturally skinny. They are all thin so they don't understand my need to be at a weight I have never been as an adult...or as a teenager for that matter. I figure I'll lose 100 lbs first (which will put me at 187) and then go from there. I know I won't waste away because I want my curves but I also know that I want to be confident in my own body and no one will take me away from that. Judge it as you go. If you get down to 140 and think...heh I'm happy- I like this-- then you know you are in a good spot.

Anyway I guess my point is that everyone's body is different and you are the judge of yourself. What I might add is that when you get within 10 lbs of your goal, take a step back and take pictures in your best outfits. Our eyes and minds can take awhile to accept where we are. We will still see ourselves a little chunky when the rest of the world sees us as a twig. Get some perspective first and then continue when you are ready.

Good luck and fantastic job so far!

I'm about the same height and I have the same goal of 135 so I know it is very healthy within my BMI range. I'm just a little over 5.6 and my healthly range is anywhere from 155 - 125 pounds. At 125 I would be starving myself but at 140-135 I am very confident in my own skin and I feel I can still enjoy life.

You go girl!

There is no need for them to even know that you're still trying to loose weight. Keep it a secret for your own.

I totally agree with the comments above. Generally, unless you're an expert in these matters, I think it's really difficult for lay people to be able to have any idea of what someone's goals for weight loss should be by just looking at them. Obviously, this renders any sort of remarks about someone's goal weight (unless it's obviously very extreme) rather pointless... but unfortunately, I don't think everyone is aware of how inaccurate their own judgments can be when it comes to this, and thus comments like you describe get tossed around.

Sometimes people make those sorts of comments to try to be nice and to pay you a compliment for how you are now (i.e., you look great now, you don't need to change to look wonderful, etc.). Sometimes those sorts of comments are motivated by the commenter's own personal issues (e.g., being a larger person themselves, knowing they could probably do with losing a few pounds, and therefore trying to keep other people "bigger" makes them feel better). Sometimes people really do have no idea or have quite a distorted idea of what particular weights look like, and are genuinely concerned.

In any case, I wouldn't let these comments worry you at all - as I said at the start of my post, it's just so difficult for people to have a realistic idea of how much weight someone could lose, and what specific weight losses look like.

I think if people still keep commenting on your goals in this way, it might be an idea to just start being a little more vague in discussions about your weight loss - it's quite easy to avoid mentioning specific numbers, goals, etc. If you'd still like to talk openly with people about it, then I think a friendly but firm word asking them to refrain from these sorts of comments with an explanation as to why would be constructive.

Just one last thing, I'm the same height as you and have pretty much the same "ultimate" goal weight - it's been a while since I checked, but I'm pretty sure for people of our height, being in the middle of the 130s puts you smack bang in the middle range for a healthy BMI. Even with the various weaknesses of using the BMI as a tool in that way, because it's in the middle of the range, things like build, musculature, and so on, aren't going to put it that far out. So I think it's totally up to you what weight you decide to go down to, but I just wanted to say that I think your goal weight is healthy and realistic. Well done with your loss so far!

Its your life - not theirs. If you're comfortable with losing more weight, and that's your goal, stick to it.

I notice the 'too thin' thing coming up more and more lately. I've been thinking about it more, you never see people telling your skinny friends to gain weight because they are 'too thin'. But when you aspire to be a size similar to theirs it's 'too thin'.

Alicia, you have 20 pounds until goal and you may want to stop sooner or you may want to go all the way. You'll know when you feel guess when you get there. I tell people its a goal for now. I feel pretty good at 160 from where I came from but I know I have a bit of weight to lose and I may stop before 140 or continue a bit past it.

BTW, I have a friend who is an inch shorter than me and 109 pounds. She's curvy and she looks great! She just has a tiny frame. If you have a smaller frame a lower weight will probably look and be better for you as well.

Oh, I have plenty of skinny friends that are told they need to gain weight. It goes both ways.

There are a few things going on here.

1) People aren't "used to" seeing you at the size you are - they just think, you're smaller than you were before, isn't this enough?

2) Let's face it, we live in a society that doesn't really know what a "normal weight" looks like. We know what emaciated is and we know what obese is, but if someone asked me to point out someone at a healthy weight for their height, I'd be at a loss. So when people see you looking trim and amazing, and you say, I still need to lose 20 lbs, they're confused.

I get this as well, and I just say hey, I'm still technically overweight and I just want to get to the upper end of healthy. Its my goal, and that's where I'm going.

I don't think a lot of it has to do with "competition" - maybe in some cases, but not in all.

I think it's human instinct to worry about someone we love or care about when they start losing weight! Think about it - for thousands of years, the goal has been to eat more, be fatter - it's only recently that obesity has been a widespread problem as our whole way of life has been radically redefined by industrialization. So we're still kind of stuck in that mode of weight loss = hunger, sickness, etc. Even though logically we know someone we love may be overweight, what we see of them is their "normal" so going below that triggers worrying.

You know your body much much better than they do, and you probably know what will look best on your body (when it happens), so only stop when you feel comfortable, no when they do

I can relate to this. A friend of mine that was previously my size has recently lost weight and she looks really good. She is at a normal weight. However, when I saw her for the first time after she lost the weight, I couldn't help but have thoughts about her being unhealthy. Even though I'm dieting myself, and we both noticed each others weight loss and I am completely happy for her the thought "I wonder if she is being healthy" definitely ran through my mind. I didn't ask her, but I do agree that it's a natural instinct when you see someone lose weight.

I also agree with others who have said it could be out of pure jealousy.