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Old 11-05-2009, 11:06 PM   #1  
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Default the "how much more do you want to lose" question

I can't believe people are asking me this already.

How much more do you want to lose?

I hate to say 65 lbs, even more than I've already lost, because I get the whole NO WAY reaction...

Plus, it's sort of embarrassing to admit that I started out with over 100 pounds to lose.

I mean, I'm still in an 18W and have a BMI of 36!!!

It always makes me wonder what is going through people's minds.

It doesn't surprise me when random people say it, but when people I know well, like my mom, say it, I find it odd.

My mother tonight INSISTED that If I lost 20 more pounds I'd wear no bigger than a fourteen and I'm thinking that last time I wore a fourteen I weighed 175, which is still 65 pounds away.

Maybe I've just been big for so long that no one can imagine me actually thin.
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Old 11-05-2009, 11:29 PM   #2  
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I think that people really have no idea what 65 pounds or 20 pounds look like. So when you say you want/need to lose another 65 pounds, they are probably imagining you being skin and bones. They may truly think that you will answer "20 more" because it's hard for people to tell and they probably think that's what you've got to lose. Does that make sense?

However, I know what you mean about not wanting to say because I'm embarrassed to admit that I want to lose a total of 65-80 pounds. For that reason, I don't really tell most people how much I have lost (or want to lose), because I don't like to deal with the shocked "No way!" comments.
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Old 11-05-2009, 11:32 PM   #3  
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I don't answer questions like that and never have really. That's what the 3FC is for! When people ask questions about things that make me uncomfortable I usually go into the importance of whole foods--that will bore anyone to tears and chase them off like the plague. If it doesn't--I just say, "I eat and move like I should and I will let my body decide."
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Old 11-05-2009, 11:51 PM   #4  
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I'd probably treat it like they were joking around with me (which we both know they aren't) and say something like, "I'll let you know when I get there!" Conversation continues in another direction; no one gets hurt.
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Old 11-06-2009, 01:20 AM   #5  
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The people asking that have no concept of space/weight/size/what a size looks like (or of manners).

I just say "I haven't decided, I guess I'll know when I'm done" and leave it at that - it isn't rude, but it doesn't invite the person further down that line of questioning.

Last edited by nooch; 11-06-2009 at 01:21 AM.
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Old 11-06-2009, 01:26 AM   #6  
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yah I get ya. When people ask how much I've lost and I tell them 158 pounds... and then they ask how much more I want to lose... and I tell them 65ish... and then they ask what my goal weight is... like HELLO LOSER. I know you are trying to do the math! lol!!! So I just say "a bit more... I'll know when I get there!"
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Old 11-06-2009, 03:07 AM   #7  
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They don't think of you as someone who is smaller or of normal weight. Their mental picture of you is how you were. My husband, years ago, during my one and only experience of losing a lot of weight (130lb) when we were in public used to pull people aside and point at me and ask them if they thought I really needed to lose any more weight (when I was about 155lbs).
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Old 11-06-2009, 03:20 AM   #8  
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I've taken to giving replies along the lines of, "I'll know when I get there," or "I don't know. I'm more interested in getting to a dress size where I'll be comfortable." I am also deliberately vague about how much I've lost. Maybe I'm just uptight and have an overly developed appreciation for privacy, but it does shock me when people baldly ask exactly how much I've lost.
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Old 11-06-2009, 03:49 AM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Windchime View Post
I think that people really have no idea what 65 pounds or 20 pounds look like. So when you say you want/need to lose another 65 pounds, they are probably imagining you being skin and bones. They may truly think that you will answer "20 more" because it's hard for people to tell and they probably think that's what you've got to lose. Does that make sense?

However, I know what you mean about not wanting to say because I'm embarrassed to admit that I want to lose a total of 65-80 pounds. For that reason, I don't really tell most people how much I have lost (or want to lose), because I don't like to deal with the shocked "No way!" comments.
I TOTALLY AGREE..
My doctor told me i should be around 145-125, Hey even i thought he was nutz but now that ive lost 50lbs i want to reach 125 as my own personal goal and a friend of mine thought i was nuts. i think it is possible but she has only known me as an overweight person and i think its hard for her and even sometimes myself to picture me at 125pounds...but i say prove them wrong show them that you can plus after losing a good chuck of weight i believe i will be 125.
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Old 11-06-2009, 06:34 AM   #10  
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I've started responding with "the only pound I'm worried about losing is the next one" - quiets the rest of the questions.
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Old 11-06-2009, 08:10 AM   #11  
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That's a great response, gggirls, to a very obnoxious question. This one and the "don't lose too much!" comments drive me CRAZY! Just tell me I look fabulous and leave it at that!
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Old 11-06-2009, 08:18 AM   #12  
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LOL!! Ditto natamars!

I've lost 40ish lbs since May, and just NOW people are starting to make comments all the time.... and not just all the time, but ALL THE TIME. Like I can't go a day without people at work (regular customers and even fellow employees) constantly yappin' me up about my weight loss. For the most part, its gratifying (I'm a Leo, what can I say? I like to be adored ) ... but sometimes it gets annoying when people start asking that question or telling me not to lose too much. I'm like What? It took me to lose 45lbs for you even notice I was losing weight! Like another 45 will matter?

One guy even told me yesterday it looks like I've gotten a boob reduction.

Um, thanks?
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Old 11-06-2009, 08:39 AM   #13  
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People have asked me too. I don't think that they are saying that I have lost enough but are just curious. That devil on my shoulder thinks that they might be trying to figure out what I weighed when I started. If anyone asks me how much weight I have lost, my answer is, "A lot!". If they ask how much more I want to lose I say, "I don't know. I am taking it 5 pounds at a time."
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Old 11-06-2009, 09:06 AM   #14  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natamars View Post
That's a great response, gggirls, to a very obnoxious question. This one and the "don't lose too much!" comments drive me CRAZY! Just tell me I look fabulous and leave it at that!
Amen, sister. My best friend (who also struggles with her weight) told me again yesterday that I am getting too thin. Hello, I still weigh over 190 pounds!??? I suspect it might be because all my work pants are getting baggy; I still can't fit comfortably into a 12 so my 14's are really kind of hanging off me. But I am still 30 pounds heavier than when I was before babies (and I was 24 when I had my first baby, so I should be able to get close to that weight again).

It's frustrating. I don't dare tell my friend that I'd like to lose another 20 or so pounds because I'm sure that will make her think I'll be emaciated. So I've started telling most people that I'm done losing.
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Old 11-06-2009, 09:15 AM   #15  
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Honestly, I don't see how this question is too much different than asking how much you weigh. I think it's so terribly rude, although people just don't realise it! AH! So frustrating. Everyone has an opinion about everything, if it weren't weight loss, it would be something else.

I agree with the option of saying you're not sure, or you'll know when you get there. Personally, if someone asks me that question, or anything like it, I'm going to try to say "I'd rather not say". And if they push "I just think it's a very personal thing, and I'd rather not talk about publicly"
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