Okay...here I go again.
I know I have gained. Again. I can feel it in my clothes, which means it is substantial. And I am tired of this roller-coaster of my own doing.
So...today at lunch, I plan on walking to the doctor's office up the street and weighing. Not only does it give me about 1/2 mile of walking, but it gives me a pretty accurate weight. And more importantly, it's what I did back in 2005 when I started my weight loss. (Well, actually it took a few months, since I couldn't do that hill between here and the doc's at 328 lbs.) Anyway, I'm tired of throwing good money after bad and I think I may quit WW. Not that I don't love the program, but I can be an on-line member for $12.50 a month or go to meetings for $40 a month, and clearly, meetings aren't helping a bit. I had hoped they'd motivate me, but it's been nearly 10 months and I haven't lost. So meetings don't help me and I have to try something new. In this case, new is old. I'm going to try very hard to go back to the way things were in the beginning.
In the beginning, I walked to the doc's every Friday and did WI. Friday was good, because we were more likely to have dinner out on Friday night and while we watched our weekly target points, we allowed ourselves ONE "free" meal a week, where we just didn't bother to count. In the beginning, I was always hungry...as I am now...and so I cooked large, vegetable filled meals like stir-fries to fill up. In the beginning, I didn't allow junkfood in the house. In the beginning, I made a concerted effort to drink my water. In the beginning, (once the weather was good as it is now) I parked and walked 1/2 mile to work and also walked the dog (now dogs) in the evening.
Not in the beginning, but I know I HAVE to, I'll try harder to get on the elliptical. But if I don't, I still have the walking. There's no reason I can't exercise. Even if I'm exhausted, I can still do yoga at home.
Tonight, I have to get off early and take DS to the ortho. When that's done, I'll take him home, force-feed him the donuts that remain in the house so they are gone

, then I'll go to the store - again - and get GOOD HEALTHY FOODS to cook. I will walk at least one dog.
I have to do this. This weekend was an SCA event. I didn't do much. I sat around mostly (and had a wonderful time, but that's not the point.) Sunday I was so exhausted I nearly fell asleep in church and later in the day actually took a nap! I woke up feeling like someone had beaten me and I didn't do anything to make myself that tired. My goal of being "overweight" instead of "obese" wasn't enough. My goal of getting back into my smaller clothes by summer, wasn't enough, but my dream vacation
has to be. I
have to be healthier and in better shape. I don't want to be so tired and achey after a day of sight-seeing that I can't enjoy the next day. I have one year. That's a long time. I may never see myself under 200 lbs, but I can see my lazy hiney get slimmer, my joints get more limber and my energy level get higher.
Help me.

Ask me if I exercised. Suggest easy-to-prepare, healthy meals. Remind me of how physical that vacation is going to be. Remind me of how tiny those airline seats are. I HAVE to stay focused.
Thanks! For listening, supporting and encouraging me and each other - you ladies are THE BEST! (And for putting up with me all these years.

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