Hi. Nice day today, but we sure need rain. The whole Province will be going up in smoke soon. There is a fire raging in Northern Alberta for 1 month now and unless they get rain they don't have a hope in putting it out. There are literary 1000s of people fighting this fire and water bombers and still they are not making headway. There was some rain the other day, but the lightening sparked a few other fires. I don't know what is going to happen.

Joanne - The best way to be is to say what you think. I am kind of like that myself. I try to help others when I can, but I have decided, due to health reasons, that I am NOT superwoman. At one point, I WAS supermom Now when I look back, I don't know how I did all that.

My son turned 27 in April - he doesn't want to get married for a little while yet. He did have a couple of girlfriends that wanted to get married and he wasn't anywhere near ready. He broke up with them instead. He has found his way and is making a life for himself. He just bought a new house, but it will be 7 or 8 months before it is built. I learned a long time ago, to stay out of it. The more you say, the more they want to do things their way. We all learn by our mistakes.

Candice - hope you are feeling better and don't worry about your son. Whatever way he goes, it is his life. We don't like to see our kids make the wrong moves, but Hey, that IS part of living.

Ally - Hi. Perhaps the people you have helped don't return the favor, but others do. It is like an unbroken circle.

Meme - Hi. HOpe you now have your mom settled in your house. May God be with you and keep you from getting really stressed and upset.

Mima - Hi. You have a long time to get your house in order. Just take it one day at a time. When you are able, do something, we you are not - rest. You sound pretty busy to me, right now. Hope your day was nice.

Serenity - Hi. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Where do you live. I live in Canada and I have O/arthritis and FM, along with degenerative disc disease. I am getting better day by day.

Hi Happy!!! I'm a little like Mima and I went right from a marriage where I twisted myself into a pretzel trying to be the perfect mate to a boyfriend with whom I did the same.
Had to spend the last three years finally looking at myself and taking responsibility for letting that happen.
If you don't pay attention to you, you get lost in the shuffle.
And if you don't say what you want, you might not get it.
I got this fibro from being put in a situation in my job where I initially liked the chaos and the stress and the excitement, and then realized that I was working harder, and longer and was in more PAIN than others who made the same $$$ as me.
I guess I needed that kick in the rear. If I kept going at the same pace, I would be in a wheelchair now.
But I still have these clingon wipeout days....today it is a migraine.
I have had to look around and find out what I am doing to trigger these....stress? Well, I DO have 17 year old twins And I was eating sugar and drinking caffeine. I was just starting to lose some weight too!!!

Ally, I have given up caffeine and I feel so much better. I am sleeping better and I have more energy. I have also given up sugar and yeast products. So, you ask, why have I not lost weight? I would also like to know that. I eat healthy and watch my portions. The only thing I can think of is the exercise. I think I might get started tomorrow again in water areobics if I have the energy. It has been kind of down the past couple of days. A funny thing about coffee. I had a headache just over a week ago, and I was going to take a pain killer. Hubby said I should try a half a cup of coffee - well it did take care of the headache, but the next morning (I drank it at night) I had an irregular heartbeat, and I haven't had that since I quit drinking coffee - related ? you betcha!

Serenity - congrats to you for being sober for that many years. I am sure it was a hard thing to do. I admire people who can do this. My own childhood was great and I do feel badly for all who had to let it go for whatever reason. It seems important to me that a childhood should be just that. Memories to fall back on when times get tough - bringing comfort. I am glad you got the help you needed for closure. I am 56, so we are close to the same age. Meme is in there as well. Ally is our baby Candice isn't that much younger (although she looks like a kid).

Our Mima just got married in May and is starting on a new life. Joanne keeps us all straight and we love her. She gives pretty good advice.

Everyone have a great day tomorrow.

Good Morning all - I still can't remember all the names.

Thanks for your encouragement. I am feeling a
little better today. Had a good nights sleep.

Happy Canuck has suggested I tell a bit about myself. I live in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.

I am 63 and married for the 3rd time (the 1st 2 were alkies) having 20th anniversary this year.


Live and learn - I have 3 grown children, the oldest girl will be 34 in Sept., the next a boy is 32 and the youngest girl will be
30 in October.

Oldest daughter lives in Vancouver, and still going to UBC at
nights. My son lives in Calgary and these two are still single.

My youngest daughter and her family have bought the other
side of our house. So I see my grandchildren every day.

Her and her hubby have both gone back to further their education, he is waiting to get into education and she is
on a list for nursing.

I have severe asthma and allergies and also fibromyalgia.
I am on medication for asthma all the time and allergies, most
of the time. I have been in anaphalctic shock, resp. arrest,
etc. with the asthma/allergies but for the past 10 years, medication has controlled these problems quite well and I
no longer spend my evenings in speeding ambulances.

I have a wonderful husband who supports all my efforts. I
was very active in the community until the fibro. set in. Now
I just spend all my energy on family and friends etc

I do some quilting, watercolours, and odds and ends of other
crafts when I am up to it.

Happy - How did you get that Canadian Flag????

Serenity

Hi all!!!My computer keeps freezing up but here goes. Serenity-i have been in 12 step programs for 23 years-one of the best ones for me was ACOA-I also married 2 alcoholics until I realized my childhood set me up to choose wrongly-notice that I do not blame my parents-I was abused but my choice today is not to abuse myself like working too hard. I finally have a sweet husband who doesn't drink but he does work very hard and long. But he always takes the time to be with me. I bet if we surveyed all us fibros we would find that most came from a dysfunctional abusive family-emotional abuse right in there. Except for Happy and a few others. But we have each other!!!!So welcome. We had so many thunderstorms-the dog wanted to get in bed with us!!!!I'm supposed to play golf today-that's a laugh because I am not good but it's the teachers I used to work with so it will be fun. Bye for now. Hope evrything is going well Meme. Mima

Oh, I love being referred to as the baby (at 46). It is that way with my extended family too. They still treat me like I am a little kid. It is fine with me now, but it used to bother me.
Serenity....welcome to the group. I think along with abusive or dysfunctional backgrounds, we all seem to have too much on our plates at times. Meme especially. I have no idea how she does it all, but I do know that I can't take on all that anymore or I suffer. So it doesn't seem to be a choice. Just when I think I can sneak in a drink, or a late nite, or a chaotic few days...I pay later. So I may be the baby, but I lead a boring life.
You all haven't even heard me bore you with talk of men lately, have you? I am on a respite. Too much work.
Happy....yeah, I gave up sugar and cut out as much starch and simple carbs as I could. I do two salads a day with whatever fresh veggies I have and bits of meat or today it was shrimp. I use only olive oil. Hardly ever do bread. I think I was trying to sneak a bit of junk in there at nite and I did it without consequence for a few weeks, then it started that Catch-22. I craved it.
Meme......I know you aren't asking for anything in return from your mother. I hope you didn't think I meant that. But WE are the kinds who always pitch in, always help out, are there when everyone else needs us.....and WE are the ones who probably need a break. This even happens to me at work. This week it was birthdays. Everyone says that they will do something but no one actually coordinates it and plans it. And today someone said with a whine "well, YOU always do it". Uh DUH!!!! And I am sick of it. My kids are always complaining that I only bake for work. And two times in a row, they forgot my birthday completely!!!!!

Happy- You are so right. The more you try to help your kids at times the more they think they know it all. And sometimes they do know some better ways of doing things. I try to stay out of it sometimes. Like my daughter. She was camping this past weekend..She went fishing.Waded out into the Gulf where she knows sharks are feeding.People are fishing there and catching them.She was in about 3 feet of water. She even said a 3 foot one was circling her. She weights about 100 or less lbs. AND SHE THINKS IT WAS FUNNY!I told her to keep her butt out of the area. Now she is a teacher.Well educated soon to finish her masters. A young boy was attacked in that area this weekend.Now you tell me? She wants to challenge the odds or should I go up there and kick her butt? She was laughing at me getting excited.She has two grown kids,I wonder if she would have gotten excited.
Ally You probably are the baby of this group. I seem to think I must be the oldest. Someday the right guy is going to come along and knock your socks off. You can bore us all you want. I'm sure I do my share of boring people.
Serenty- It sounds like you have a super family. You know sometimes that is all we need to be happy. I am a quilter and do many handcrafts. I have made most of my own clothes all my life. I enjoy my crafts and reading more than I can say. I had my own dressmaking business during the time my kids were living at home and then I went back to nursing for about 15 years before deciding I needed time for me.
Mima- There was good rain all around us last night .My sons house was just pounded. I only got about 30+ minutes of light rain. We were looking forward to a good soaking. That is the way of Florida..Hard in one place none in another.
Meme- I guess by now your mother is home with you. You keep the control..It can change real easy. My prayers are with you. Get someone to come in a sit for you once in a while and take a break..

Hey Candice...Bye, Joanne

WHEW...what a week...WHAT A LIFE!!!

Yes, Mom is home...my home that is. She can't seem to do ANYTHING for herself. I know I could do more with just one arm and hand than she can do!!! She uses her left arm and hand some but it seems to make things worse. She is always dropping things, etc. She knocks stuff over. I have to watch her constantly when she is up and grab stuff before it hits the floor. She has started to get her pills herself 3 times today and I stop her...I can just see all her medicine all over the bathroom. I'm trying to "teach" her to button her buttons with one hand but she gets so frustrated. I'm MAKING her learn how to operate my canopener...she doesn't want to but I told her she didn't have a choice. I'm going to get her one like mine...attaches under the cabinets and is really easy to use...so she can be more independant when she gets home! I cook all the meals and then fix her plate so she can eat everything with only one hand. I have to practically give her a bath. She can't use her left hand and she can't get in the tub so I have to put her on the bath stool we bought and use the shower hose then let her go ahead and soap up and then come back and rinse her off, help her dry off, put lotion on her and then help her put her clothes on. It's like having a 110 pound 3 year old.. I even have to comb her hair for her. It is hard but I'm doing it! She hasn't made any waves yet. I think she realizes that THIS IS IT! It's either here or a nursing home and I think she is just so grateful not to have to go to a nursing home she is trying really hard to get along here. She's so totally different than she was before the stroke. She's almost pitiful!!! I just don't know how in the world she is going to FUNCTION alone at home! I'll have to take her meals to her and go over and help her with her bath and dressing, etc. She said today that she didn't think she'd ever be able to go to church again because she'd never be able to put on hose. I just can't see any end to any of this...

I haven't had a headache in almost 3 weeks and then yesterday I started craving chocolate. I found a jar of Hershey Kisses in the basement and have eaten almost all of them...and I feel a migraine coming on! Why or why do we do this to ourselves???

Speaking of childhoods...I did not have a good one. I can remember "moments" but that's about it. Most of it was not pleasant!!! I have BLAMED my mom for this for many, many years. I think that is one reason doing this now is so hard for me!!! I know in my heart that if the situation was reversed back when she was able to take care of me that she would not have done it! Oh...all of the unpleasantness was not her fault...my dad was a lot to blame, too. But my dad's part was mostly physical abuse...my mom's part was mental abuse. I almost think that is harder to deal with as an adult! I have no regrets with the way I have raised my children and I STAY COMPLETELY OUT OF THEIR BUSINESS! Unless, of course, they ask my advise. Which they do on a regular basis. I tell them what I think and then tell them to do what THEY think is best! It doesn't bother me when my kids make mistakes...that's the best way to learn! Now...the grandkids may be a different story... But...I have enough problems of my own without worrying about theirs!

Serenity...I just turned 55 May 20th. I have two children...boy and girl who are both married and each have a boy and a girl.
http://www.design-max.net/images/8Kids.jpeg
My grandchildren are Garrett (7), Ross (5), Kaylyn (4) and Baby Jenna (3). http://www.design-max.net/images/4Kids.jpeg
I teach piano and do web design. I also have several other sites on the internet. You can check them out here http://www.design-max.net/Devotion.html Just scroll down and click on the buttons!
I live in middle Tennessee but lived for many years in Michigan. (Although most of my relatives are from North Carolina and I was born in Virginia!) I have been happily married for almost 37 years (well...most of the years were happy, anyway). We live in the country and I have a golden named Sami. http://www.design-max.net/images/MemeSam.jpg I was actually diagnosed with fibro over 25 years ago...back then they knew very little about it. I also have rheumatoid arthritis and have had osteo arthritis since I was 9. I'm not complaining though...my life could have been a lot worse! I'm just thankful that God has given me a great place to live, good kids, beautiful grandchildren and a kind husband!

Gotta go to bed...sorry to run on so...Candice will be accusing me of writing a book!!!

Well....miss a day around here and it takes forever to catch up! Boy... you all can jabber on and on and on.......

My son did ask for my advice and I tried to be impartial....he just wanted for someone to agree with him that there was a trust issue and it was her fault. (She did not think that lying to him was a problem cause she says nothing happened with the other guys!) So far they are still together but DH and I are not real pleased with her (since the beginning she has made comments about our family not being a loving family! ) We just are not real afectionate in public or have many family get togethers cause I am not able. To her this is no love..........her parents are real liberal and my son says they are way cooler than DH and I Yo..Mama.........I'm cool! Blah..Blah..Blah!


Joanne does give good advice but I think you all do! Even Baby Ally....................

Hi-played 4 holes of golf in the POURING Rain-then we went in-I got a certificate for being most improved-I hit a good chip and putt on the second hole-But it was fun to see people I worked with.It's still pouring here. Su[pposed to be a nice weekend-cancer walk tonight and concert. Bye for now Mima

Baby Ally has another migraine. And it was the nicest day of the year so far.....72 degrees , no wind or rain or clouds. This doesn't make sense.
Now I get it Meme...... Well, you be sure and give yourself a treat now and then....nothing fattening mind you!!!!

Poor Baby ally...........hope your head feels better soon!

Mima hope you do not get sick from playing in the rain!

I worked in the yard today and it was so nice out! But of course I hurt now.....Yowie!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My DH told my son everyone gets one msitake and she had hers..Well I have not so wonder what I can get away with

Did I mention I lsot another pound????????????????? Gota eat more pts when I am working so hard in the yard!

I hurt too because I tried to push a bookcase.And I worked hard so today has to be easy. We are going to hear the Gaithers tonight. Meme, do you like them? We went to a cancer walk last night that brad's sister has a lot to do with but it was too cold to stay-probably 40 and these people were camping out. They sure do raise a lot of money, though.They also put candles in a bag -luminaries- and you can buy one for someone who has passed away from cancer.It's going to be a gorgeous weekend!!!!Bye for now-stay out of trouble everyone. Mima

Ann Landers ,I'm not!!This is a quiet weekend. I did the usual stuff. Laundry ,shopping, serving meals. serving... Took a long tub bath and now I am going to put myself in a chair and watch the country shows. Go to bed early.Read. I was up at 6 am. My hubby doesn't sleep no one sleeps. I gained 2 lbs this week. Not Good!Got to watch better.. Hope you all are having a restful weekend.
Joanne

Joanne...what are the country shows? Here in NY I watch British Comedies on Sat nite. Creature of habit.
Sat in the sun today for an hour...too hot. Now I could just fall asleep and I still have things to do...