I am wondering if all of us struggling to lose and all the issues that go with that are not all depressed to some degree? I live my life in a cycle of ups and downs and not sure if it is the chicken or the egg arguement....depressed due to weight, weight due to depressed....almost 40, wish I had some understanding on a deeper level...Liz

I definitely think that there is a link between depression and overeating. I think that both depression causes overeating and overeating causes depression. Sometimes I wonder which came first. Did I drive myself to depression because of my obsession with body image and eating disorders. Or did my depression trigger my eating disorder? Right now I am struggling with my massive weight gain (70 lbs) in a very short period of time (1 year and a half). I was thin, pretty, sorta happy (not completely happy . . . but happier than now). I weighed 115 lbs. But then, I just gave up on myself, friendships, relationships, etc., and I started binging around the clock.

I wish I could turn back time. But I can't. Right now my doctor is switching my anti-depressants around. I don't know if that is gonna help me lose weight, though. If I don't lose weight, I know I will remain depressed even if the anti-depressants have a positive impact.

I think the first step in dealing with all this is to just to stop beating ourselves up for our weight prob. This step is very hard to do, espescially when a chunk of the problem is that we are our hardest critic!

We need to be our number one fans!!

Bubblegum

I think there is a difference between being depressed and clinical depression. Everyone has ups and downs in life.. that is life after all. When it is clinical depression, that is very different. I have been battling this illness when I was thin and when I was fat. The predisposition to this disease was inherited, at least in my case. I had this long before I got fat. I got fatter, I think, due to this illness. Losing this weight isn't going to make my depression go away. It might make parts of it easier, but no way will it be gone.

I am sure quite many who are depressed are suffering from clinical depression, but I don't think everyone is. Clinical depression manifests itself in all aspects of my life, not just my weight. If any of you are suffering with a depression that has gone on longer than 6 months, have lost interest in the things you use to do, have changes in appetite or sleep, I urge you to talk to you doctor. There are other symptoms of the disease, but those are a few that I can remember.

I agree with LindaT, it varies in each individual but I can tell you from my own experience (life) is that being overweight surely has made me depressed. I eat when I'm depressed (ALOT) and because my weight has soared it has made me even more depressed.

ALTHOUGH !!! I think I've always been depressed even as a young adult but its hard to say because I was fat my entire life and I know that has made me miserable. But it was my sister dying that has put my depression over the edge.

Some folks who have depression cut themselves or they do something else.....in my case I think I punish myself by overeating? In any case its a tough call, each one is different.

This is just my opinion !!

I definitely agree that clinical depression exists whether one is thin or fat. I just find that being thin takes a tiny layer off the fog I live in when I am depressed. When I was thin (most of my life), l still did not feel quite normal. I usually felt a bit blue. Then I would slip into a major depression. Even when I got out of the depression, I never felt normal. Occassionally I got manic (dude to my manic-depression). That mania did not last long, and after those episodes I would crash and re-visit those horrible depressions.

Now, I am struggling between major depression and a blue mood. Sometimes it is even hard for me to take a shower. Sometimes I don't shower for a week. I know that sounds disgusting, but sometimes I just feel so bad that I don't want to take care of myself. Although I am passive about a lot of things (i.e. showering, cleaning my apartment, doing a laundry, visiting with friends) when I am depressed, there is one thing that I am overly aggressive about -- my food addiction. By overeating, I get instant gratification, but afterwards I make myself feel worse. So, I definitely find that overeating creates extra obstacles in getting out of my major depression as well as when I just feel blue (most of the time when I am not depressed).

I hope you all are having a happy day.

Bubble gum

Hi, I don't think we've talked yet...I'm Karen (a.k.a. Moody). I don't know about you, but I think I have used something to medicate myself all my life. Mostly it has been food as long as I can remember. My few years being thin were the result of substituting alcohol and tobacco for food. Because I've always numbed myself, I don't think I ever learned how to be "me" and cope with problems well. Does this make any sense?

Hi Girls,

Welcome Moody, and yes it does make sense. I also numb myself for the moment by shoving food in my face and as soon as I'm done the sadness comes back. The problem with me is I have to learn how to handle that "moment" and put my thoughts and energy somewhere else. It just seems like I can't.

Hey maybe I should hire some STUDLY man (Linny in a loin cloth ) to keep my "moments" handled, instead of shoving food in my mouth he can give me a massage ???? Just bustin yah.

Love, Leens

Leens,

I can't tell you how much I needed to laugh. The mental image that came to my mind when you said "Linny in a loin cloth" was hilarious. Thanks so much.
I'm going to try and sit down and set some goals in the next couple of days, so when I have those moments I can think of something else to do. Maybe the satisfaction of accomplishing things important to me will assuage the need to medicate.
Anyway, I sure appreciate your humor. Take care until later.

Karen

Yes yes.. the man in the loin cloth.. perfecto!! Don't forget.. make him MUTE.

I can relate to being self medicating. There are lots of people that do this, in a variety of ways. Alcohol, drugs, excessive, spending, excessive food, excessive exercise. My mother, who doesn't believe she has a problem, is a clean freak. I mean she makes Martha look like a slob. She does this so she feels she has control over some part of her life <donning Freud hat> I know, since I got into the routine of eating well and exercising, I do feel I am more in control. The urge to go offplan and eat and eat, is a lot less.

Moody, you hit the nail on the head when you said "Because I've always numbed myself, I don't think I ever learned how to be "me" and cope with problems well. " I am learning to not stuff down the pain, the anger, the disappointment. I am an internalizer of everything, so learning to feel these emotions is a real challenge. Like I read someplace.. "what are we really hngry for?"

What a great question? Liz

Hi Again,

Karen, you can always tell us ninnies here when you get those moments and you need someone to talk to. We will be happy to help, Right Linny (LindaT)? Hey Linny, mute can be a good thing, just make sure he can cook and has looong fingers....... now now for the massage, what were you thinking ????

Liz........ what are we hungry for, your right what a great question, I never thought about it before and if I did the answer was usually a chili dog w/chili fries & cheese mmmmmmmm can you tell I'm fasting today

But seriously, I have to write that down and put it on my frig... "what am I hungry for"... thanks Linny.

Leens

That is the golden question, isn't it? I'm wondering if I'm afraid of being thin for some strange reason. I tell you, just being able to express all this has given me a lift these past couple of days. Thanks to you all! I'm posting the question on the fridge, too.

P.S. I couldn't have my man mute...he'd never be able to say "I love you".

hey, guys.

today, i finally realized that no drug is gonna get me to completely feeling normal (out of my blues). i need to take charge of my life. i can try to get my doc to proscribe this med or that med in search of that anti-depressant that will make me sooo happy that i won't want to compulsively overeat.

yes, i will always be on some mood drug, but i know that the drug won't solve all my problems. i need to watch what i eat, excercise, and cut myself some (a lot) of slack. I need to smile more and be greatful for the things i accomplish rather than just beat myself up for the mistakes i make.

perhaps, a bit of anti-depressants (if one has a mood disorder) and a bit of self-love is the medicine needed.

i just have that mega problem of loving myself.

re: what i am hungry for? . . . probably self-love.

bubble gum

Hello Ladies,

That is it in a nut shell for me...I have to learn to like myself before I can go on to the next step. My daughter told me a couple months ago that I am my worst enemy and she is right. I am in such a funk. I don't go anywhere unless I have to. I avoid being with people. I miss out on so much because I look in the mirror and think I am so discusting. (70 pounds overweight) All my very good friends went to Hawaii last September and they were so upset with me because I wouldn't go. Not one of ladies out of the 5 couples has a weight problem. They were all picking out these beautiful bathing suits and I thought, OH MY GOD! I just would of felt so uncomfortable. Now this isn't because they make me feel like this, they are all wonderful and have never made me feel awkward. I just couldn't do it!!

I am just 6 months from my 50th birthday and wanted so much to be in control by then, but it hasn't worked yet. I am working on it taking little baby steps.

What am I hungry for??? self acceptance and realizing I am worth the effort.

Have a great Tuesday everyone. Keep smiling!!!

Meg

Meg: I have 100 lbs. to lose! But you know what? I went to Hawaii over the Easter holiday--went to the beach and everything else. It was marvelous. A couple of summers ago I went to Italy and France for two weeks and enjoyed every minute of it.
How did I do it? A big motivator was looking through a photo album several years ago and realizing that I was not in vacation pictures or birthday pictures or any of the pictures. Where's Mommie? I realized that I had virtually wiped myself out of the memorabilia that is and will continue to be so precious to my four children. So...fat or not they only want to know I was there.
My motto is "Fake it 'til you make it!". That has gotten me through vacations in recent years and other things like company dinners or presentations I've been asked to make to large groups. Have you read the essay "As A Man Thinketh"? It was written a couple of hundred years ago by a man surnamed Allan. In it he theorizes that we are made up of our thoughts and become what they are. I really believe that. So, I try very, very hard to fake it and it works!
Anyone else had experience with this?
The only thing is...I wish I could think myself thin.
-Karen- (a.k.a. Moody)