Most of the people I see in my life are those that have known me at 250, or at least 50 pounds heavier than I am. This definitely plays a factor in our conversations.

I was talking with some people last night that I have met in the last month. They were describing someone to me and were talking about how overweight she was, and how her clothing must have been 3x and wasn't flattering.

I felt my face getting red, and I thought "How can they talk about overweight people like that to me?".
Then it hit me. They don't know. They have no idea that I used to weigh 100 pounds more than I do now. It was very surreal, and almost like I was wearing a thin suit instead of a fat suit.

My mind was so preoccupied with the original comment that I don't even remember what the rest of the conversation was LOL. And by the time I was paying attention to them again it was some other subject. I wasn't really sure if should have mentioned my weight loss. These are not people who I will be socializing with very often, if they were friends, it would have been a different story.
Do any of you feel like this when someone doesn't know you used to be overweight?

Oh yes. I think we can ALL relate.

I hear naturally thin, healthy weight, and otherwise not fat people making very crude comments about obese people all the time. I often let them go on for a little bit. They dig their holes deeper and deeper with sentences like, "Fat people should just stop eating. Duh." and, "I don't know why so many people are fat, it's usually their fault anyway. They did it to themselves. I don't feel pity!" and then I hit them with, "Uh. I was fat once."

Dead silence usually follows, then a bunch of butt kissing subsequently arrives seconds later.

Hey Lori - You know I was thinking about that the other day. It was one of those simple thoughts that sort of catch me off gaurd when I was out doing errands. I wondered if I will be treated differently by those who did not know me before and how would they treat me after finding out what before was. Then how about people who know me at my highest and will how they treat me change? Some people I know are fairly judgemental (inlaws). It will be interesting to see or experience peoples true colours.

I know all of the people I truly care about are very supportive and treated me no differently when I was obese, now that I'm down in the 'overweight' range, or even back when I was thin. I'm sure they'll still be the same way when I'm down to goal weight.

The people I consider acquaintances...which is a lot of the people I've met here in Japan (it's a military base, hard to make lasting friendships when most people are here for only 3 years if they don't get deployed)...none of them have been nasty or crude in front of me.

I guess I'm lucky.

I totally think you should say something to people like that, it's one of the only ways to open their eyes sometimes.

by not saying anything you are in a way agreeing too.

I have been called tiny and petite and I don't have to worry about what I eat..! HAH!!! I shared with one person that I used to be over 200 pounds, she can't believe it.

Fiberlover, congratulations on meeting your goal

I think its good to make positive statements when people are being judgemental, but I disagree that not saying anything is agreeing. Myself, Im very private and sharing something personal with someone Im not close to isnt something I do. So while its great to stand-up for what you believe and be empowering rather than judgmental, I think there are ways to do it without necessarily bringing yourself into the picture if you wish not to do so.

I made a stupid comment like that before I was set straight.

beautiful one, you're right you don't have to give yourself as an example. I do remember making a comment as such when I was in my teens. My friend/co-worker who was very fit said to me, "that's a bit harsh, isn't there someone in your life you love that is overweight?" as we became closer friends I found out she had grown up quite chubby and had overweight friends and family... well, now she's a fitness model!

I do believe people should say something because you are agreeing by saying nothing... you're agreeing that the behavior/the speech is alright. There's been numerous times when people have said to me similar things but about certain races. The first time it happened I was in such a state of shock I couldn't say anything when the guy I was briefly dating said "... and you try not to think about THEM in a certain way" he was referring to a guy of a different race who just threw a bottle at him. That guy was just being a drunk jerk it had nothing to do with anything else! And, obviously my date struggled with his own prejudices. I was sooo shocked; I regretted not saying anything, since then I always say something.

Sorry to go off... but, I strongly believe in standing up for others and hopefully opening the minds of judgmental people.

I have no tolerance for fatphobic talk. NONE. Firstly, those of us who went from fat to thin had a loooooooong in between period where we were living the healthy lifestyle and didn't look that way (ie we were still fat, overweight, plump, whatever) and some people never get to aesthetic thinness. while still being incredibly fit, gorgeous and healthy (the most important thing).

Secondly, I've learned a long time ago, that my "fat" weight is someone else's "goal" weight and vice versa and it's incredibly hurtful to discuss one's weight negatively because of that.

Most people I'm meeting now have no idea what I weighed a year ago, with the notable exception of my boyfriend, who saw me throughout the process because we went to the same gym. He always liked me (even when I was fat, though I had NO idea.) and is one of those rare dudes who does not think it's acceptable to make comments about ANY woman's body, regardless of her weight.

I agree that saying nothing encourages it to continue. My husband and I were coming out of a Walmart one night when a bunch of latino teens were hooting, hollering and swearing at each other in very thick accents (an activity that is fairly common among teenagers of all ethnicities in this area).

A very prim looking white woman made a very racist remark about their heritage and their behavior, about going back to their country and talking like that or some such, expecting me (a stranger) to agree.

And my response was something to the effect that such inappropriate behavior was not related to race in my experience as I'd seen alot more of such behavior from white teens than I did kids of any other ethnicity.

She was shocked that I confronted her racist remark, expecting me to agree that these kids were horrible because they were "mexican" (which may not even have been true - they were hispanic, but whether they or their famililes were from Mexico or another hispanic country, I couldn't tell you).

Ignorance begets ignorance.

Since Im not yet at goal weight, and so I'm still fat, I found that on occasion people who didn;t know me when I was 264lbs will say something negative about someone who is fatter than me in what I believe to be an attempt to make me feel better; ie you're heavy, but not THAT heavy! My parents are also guilty of this -- theyre both heavy (esp my father) but they take pleasure in finding someone they percieve as fatter so they feel good by comparison. I *HATE* this and I usually say something to stop that kind of behavior. Like once this friend of mine from college, who I met after I already lost 80 lbs, point to this other girl sitting across the library and stated making fun of how heavy she was. I tactfully slipped in a, "Well, you know... losing weight is really hard. I used to be much fatter than I am now, and it was a struggled to even lose some of the weight, so I can imagine it wouldnt be so easy for her to do."

Not only do people make "fat" comments about others in front of me who have never known me when I WAS fat, but get this - people who DID know me when I was at my heaviest, now feel it's perfectly okay to comment and make fun of overweight people now that I'm not. What's that all about?

They think you will feel good about yourself if you put down someone else, now that you're thin and thus "better" than the heavy person.

Unfortunately, things like that just make me think, "Umm... so did you think *I* was all those terrible things before I lost weight???" Hm.

Even better than that are the people who knew you when you were heavy and then think they can make you feel good by telling you how gross and huge you used to be, i.e. "OMG you were SOOOOOO fat; I mean, you were really tremendous back then and we all thought it was really disgusting. But you look so great now!" I'm all: "Errr... .... thank... you?"

Um, I would have no problem actually saying, "So, you were saying all these things about me before?" I can be the quiet one a lot of the time, but once in a while I surprise people.

When people make ignorant comments like that to me about other people, I usually can silence them with two thoughts...

1)Be careful, YOU maybe on the receiving end of those same comments someday!

2) Don't make comments like that until you have walked in his/her shoes. Alot of things like countless meds and injury can cause weight gain!


But overall, I see a difference in how complete strangers treat me. Before I had doors slammed in my face when entering a store or the mall, nasty looks at restaurants and wispers/giggling when I would inquire about a workout DVD or something. Now...people hold the door open for me, smile more, are more than helpful with my questions etc.