[5yearscancerfree]

Had an "aha" moment today. For the past 2 days, I have been bingeing. Yesterday was really bad. Today, in a rare moment of quiet, I realized I allow others to make me feel "unappreciated" and then I eat to make myself fell better, because that is the only ting I can control - especially at work. I can't control the mean hateful customers or the supervisors who forget my breaks and lunches or the way management treats me (and allows the customers to treat me). So I get to feeling unappreciated and unworthy, and to make myself feel better, I eat until I can't breathe.

This is THE definition of bingeing and/or overeating compulsive behavior. This will go on for several days and then I pull myself out of the "pit of despair" and work my way back into healthy living.

So, today I kept a list of ways I was fabuolous in my pocket and took it out to read it a couple of times. I did buy a bag of cheese popcorn, but I threw away the bag so I wouldn't eat everything. I will try this method.

And today when one of my coworkers told me I shouldn't have the soda, I drank a few more drinks and threw it away because I was done. Then, I aked her not to say that to me again - it was none of her business what I ate or drank. (This person isn't even an aquaintance, so it's not like she is looking out for me!)

I am also practicing visual boxing (speed bag) rather than getting my feelings all hurt. And then, I will speed punch in the air. IT makes me laugh and helps me to deal with stupid customers!

[luckymommy]

I have to tell you.....I am SO impressed with what you've discovered. Finding out *why* you binge is a HUGE part of stopping. It sounds like you're there! You now know why you do it so now you know that you can avoid it! I'm just super blown away. I have been trying to figure out why I binge...why I really do it...for many, many years. Way to go!!!

[TiffNeedsChange]

*hugs* I can totally relate. I usually binge when I am lonely or feeling unappreciated... What helps me not to binge is to do something that shows myself appreciation-usually in the form of self praise or a small reward. It can be hard when you feel like no one acknowledges what you're doing.

[Strawberry Blond]

I can relate. Yesterday, I decided to get a small salad at a small cafe. When I sat down to eat it, I found much of the lettuce was soggy, slimy, and spoiled. I took it back to the counter, and politely asked for another. The owner made a sarcastic comment "you want all the toppings? right? lots to eat?" I felt terrible. I then went grocery shopping (next on my to-do list), and instead of keeping to my list, I found myself looking over high-calorie snacks, thinking "See, it does not matter. Everyone thinks you are a loser."

Today, looking back, I realize the cafe owner was rude, she was covering up that she had served me spoiled food, and in no way was my polite request unreasonable. Sadly, I made her rudeness affect who I am. I realized how much of my over-eating came from hurt.

Now...to keep that in mind when it happens again!

[Jalsa]

It's great that you recognised this - but remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said - No one can make you feel inferior without your permission

Apparently eating disorders and low self esteem are very much intertwined so we need to work on both

[seagirl]

That is so interesting that you figured it out. I realized I have a tendency to overspend & overeat on takeout when I"m feeling financially restricted. Like - I can't possibly be poor because I have thai food, etc. What I'm going to try next time is taking the money i would have spent on the food and transferring it into a savings account.

[4star]

I saw your post and I was immediately impressed by it. That's quite a reflection you had there. Some people may never figure out what causes them to hide their feelings in food. Way to go!

[theox]

That's a really good insight!