I don't feel appreciated so I eat until I feel better
 

Had an "aha" moment today. For the past 2 days, I have been bingeing. Yesterday was really bad. Today, in a rare moment of quiet, I realized I allow others to make me feel "unappreciated" and then I eat to make myself fell better, because that is the only ting I can control - especially at work. I can't control the mean hateful customers or the supervisors who forget my breaks and lunches or the way management treats me (and allows the customers to treat me). So I get to feeling unappreciated and unworthy, and to make myself feel better, I eat until I can't breathe.

This is THE definition of bingeing and/or overeating compulsive behavior. This will go on for several days and then I pull myself out of the "pit of despair" and work my way back into healthy living.

So, today I kept a list of ways I was fabuolous in my pocket and took it out to read it a couple of times. I did buy a bag of cheese popcorn, but I threw away the bag so I wouldn't eat everything. I will try this method.

And today when one of my coworkers told me I shouldn't have the soda, I drank a few more drinks and threw it away because I was done. Then, I aked her not to say that to me again - it was none of her business what I ate or drank. (This person isn't even an aquaintance, so it's not like she is looking out for me!)

I am also practicing visual boxing (speed bag) rather than getting my feelings all hurt. And then, I will speed punch in the air. IT makes me laugh and helps me to deal with stupid customers!:carrot:

I have to tell you.....I am SO impressed with what you've discovered. Finding out *why* you binge is a HUGE part of stopping. It sounds like you're there! You now know why you do it so now you know that you can avoid it! I'm just super blown away. I have been trying to figure out why I binge...why I really do it...for many, many years. Way to go!!!

*hugs* I can totally relate. I usually binge when I am lonely or feeling unappreciated... What helps me not to binge is to do something that shows myself appreciation-usually in the form of self praise or a small reward. It can be hard when you feel like no one acknowledges what you're doing.

I can relate. Yesterday, I decided to get a small salad at a small cafe. When I sat down to eat it, I found much of the lettuce was soggy, slimy, and spoiled. I took it back to the counter, and politely asked for another. The owner made a sarcastic comment "you want all the toppings? right? lots to eat?" I felt terrible. I then went grocery shopping (next on my to-do list), and instead of keeping to my list, I found myself looking over high-calorie snacks, thinking "See, it does not matter. Everyone thinks you are a loser."

Today, looking back, I realize the cafe owner was rude, she was covering up that she had served me spoiled food, and in no way was my polite request unreasonable. Sadly, I made her rudeness affect who I am. I realized how much of my over-eating came from hurt.

Now...to keep that in mind when it happens again!

It's great that you recognised this - but remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said - No one can make you feel inferior without your permission

Apparently eating disorders and low self esteem are very much intertwined so we need to work on both

That is so interesting that you figured it out. I realized I have a tendency to overspend & overeat on takeout when I"m feeling financially restricted. Like - I can't possibly be poor because I have thai food, etc. What I'm going to try next time is taking the money i would have spent on the food and transferring it into a savings account.

I saw your post and I was immediately impressed by it. That's quite a reflection you had there. Some people may never figure out what causes them to hide their feelings in food. Way to go!

That's a really good insight!