So I am going to my friends wedding today and I am really nervous. I was actually supposed to be her maid of honor but stepped down about 5 months back because my own wedding was cancelled at the last minute and I was going through a rough time. To be honest I kinda feel like she pushed me to step down and my mom thinks its because she didn't want a fat bridesmaid. The last time most of the people at the wedding saw me was at my own bridal shower and I was about 60 pounds heavier then. I am glad that I have lost some weight but I still have atleast 75 more pounds to lose.
I guess I am just so afraid that everyone will pity the poor fat girl that got dumped a month before her wedding. Plus this friend was one of the few left that wasn't married yet so now I feel like I am the only single one left! AND I am not sure if seeing the wedding ceremony will make me sad about what I almost had but lost...if that makes sense! AND I can't even drink because of the meds I am on!
I hear ya--all of my good friends are married or in serious, soon to be married relationships! I have two weddings to go to at the end of the summer, and I'm going alone--and I also worried about being pitied!
But you've lost a ton of weight, and people will notice, and I bet they'll compliment you on it. Wear something that you feel comfortable in, but that you also feel really good in--maybe go shopping with a friend you trust. Or ask the sales women to help you out!
I don't think that your friend asked you to step down because of your weight-- I mean, she did ask you to be a bridesmaid, and it's not like she didn't know what you looked like!
So I am going to my friends wedding today and I am really nervous. I was actually supposed to be her maid of honor but stepped down about 5 months back because my own wedding was cancelled at the last minute and I was going through a rough time. To be honest I kinda feel like she pushed me to step down and my mom thinks its because she didn't want a fat bridesmaid. The last time most of the people at the wedding saw me was at my own bridal shower and I was about 60 pounds heavier then. I am glad that I have lost some weight but I still have atleast 75 more pounds to lose.
I guess I am just so afraid that everyone will pity the poor fat girl that got dumped a month before her wedding. Plus this friend was one of the few left that wasn't married yet so now I feel like I am the only single one left! AND I am not sure if seeing the wedding ceremony will make me sad about what I almost had but lost...if that makes sense! AND I can't even drink because of the meds I am on!
This was just a vent I guess.....sorry!!!
First, congrats on the weight loss! It's a major accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself.
I don't think anyone will be "pitying" you. Your situation is separate from this wedding and it's no one's business what happened. It's tough being in a relationship, thinking you know where it's going, and then it feels like everything gets pulled out from under you. Not only have I been there in the past, but I'm there again right now. I really feel for you.
I don't know your friend, but is it really likely that she didn't want a "fat girl" in her wedding? To ask to be her maid of honor is a big thing, and obviously she knew what you looked like before she asked. Maybe she really was concerned about you and felt like being involved in the wedding stuff might be hard for you.
I know it's hard being the "last" single one. I'm in the same boat. Some days its rough but we just need to have faith that we'll find what we're looking for, whatever it may be!
Let yourself ENJOY the wedding! Yes, you may feel a little sad, but don't dwell on it. Other people are usually wrapped up in themselves and their own lives. The focus will be on the bride and groom. They probably won't think about your wedding change, unless you mope around. Think ahead on a brief summary comment to use if you're asked about your own wedding plans. (Yes, unfortunately it didn't work out. But doesn't <your friend> look great today!) Also be ready for compliments on the weight you've lost - this is a tremendous accomplishment. Be ready with a comment for those complements. ("Thank you" works! or "I'm so proud of myself for this accomplishment.") Don't dwell on your next goal of losing more. Stay upbeat and positive to the best of your ability. Today is about your friend - be happy for her!
I agree with what has been said above. Just go and have a good time. Today is about the bride, so I don't think that there will be too much speculation about what happened with your planned marriage, but if there is, a brief, neutral comment should suffice. Just enjoy the day, and be on the lookout because sometimes there are nice single men at weddings.......
Hey, don't worry about everyone else! The best revenge? To go and have a GREAT time! You're there to help her celebrate! It's about her. If someone makes you uncomfortable you could just redirect them... have things like "What do you think of this wedding?" or "Isn't Susie's dress stunning?" or "Wow, what kind of flowers are these?" in your back pocket. I've been there, and I'm one of the few single girls left too at 29. I feel you, especially if you get the insensitive person who loves to say "So, when's it your turn" (DARN OLD PEOPLE!)! Remember, have a great time, and in all actuality people will more than likely be focused on her!
Hey, don't worry about everyone else! The best revenge? To go and have a GREAT time! You're there to help her celebrate! It's about her. If someone makes you uncomfortable you could just redirect them... have things like "What do you think of this wedding?" or "Isn't Susie's dress stunning?" or "Wow, what kind of flowers are these?" in your back pocket. I've been there, and I'm one of the few single girls left too at 29. I feel you, especially if you get the insensitive person who loves to say "So, when's it your turn" (DARN OLD PEOPLE!)! Remember, have a great time, and in all actuality people will more than likely be focused on her!
I agree! Don't give people a reason to pity you. Go, have a great time, celebrate your friend's new marriage and be proud of what you've accomplished!
I'm sorry that you have to go to a wedding where you're going to feel to anxious. But just know that you had the perseverence to do something very few people can do (i.e. lose so much weight and probably assess much else at the same time) AND you apparently did it on your own.
So - good for you! If other people don't understand what's going on with you they can go fly a kite (sorry I don't want my comments to get bleeped out), and same for your friend if she really did keep you out of her wedding party for such ridiculous reasons.
You know how wonderful and deserving you are of love and friendship at this size and how hard you've been working. Maybe you'll meet someone fabulous, or maybe you'll just look fabulous and leave as soon as possible. Either way, you are fabulous.
Really Nervous!!
