I am at a conference in New York by Columbia. I just went to find a local drugstore and it's hot and its hilly. I'm huffing and puffing like crazy. Also sweaty.
This conference is with a group of people. They are already planning to walk places together. I really don't want to be the lagging behind girl, the fat one who lumbers everywhere.
I weigh 271, so I understand what it's like. I think what drove me to come "here" is that my life is just not what it could be if I didn't have to lug around all these extra pounds. Let's just keep going on with our plans and one day we'll be the ones planning to walk places together.
I know exactly what you are going thru.
It was a trip to LasVegas that finally kicked me into gear. My entire family and several friends roamed around the strip for several days. I did the best I could but finally with blisters and a back that just would not stop screaming at me I just took taxi's everywhere the rest of the time. I felt so sad, leftout and very angry at myself and my family (why, them I don't know!) that they went on without me I guess. It was also so hot. I could not get comfortable.. I think even if I could have walked around w/o clothes I would not have been able to get cool.
If you can, try to remember how you feel and use it.. I wrote about that week in GREAT detail in my journal and read it often.
You are doing good, 20 pounds is fantastic!.. don't get discouraged.. your post sounds like you are discouraged.
Last edited by Runundefined; 06-16-2010 at 06:17 PM.
Sounds miserable. I agree with the others who say use this as your motivation to keep on the healthy path you are already on; whenever you need motivation, remind yourself that you want to be able to do these kinds of fun activities wherever and whenever you want instead of feeling like you are limited.
For the time being, though, do what you can with the group and take a break from the group activities when you need to. You might be surprised; there may be others who have trouble doing that much walking (e.g., bad knees), too.
I'm just about 20 minutes away from you (well, I will be once I leave work tonight).
I am your height & began at about your weight. One of my major motivations to lose weight was all the walking I have to do in Manhattan & how my long-legged, lithe friends (who were all into yoga; in fact, one was getting her certification in it) once could outwalk me & I was always bobbing behind them, trying to conceal my panting. I know how you feel.
And I am sure there are people who aren't up to walking, due to dislike of heat & humidity, shoes that aren't really made for it or a simple disinclination. (Even some thin people don't like all the walking required in the city.)
So hang in there. And put this on your list of things you're gonna enjoy later, when you get to your goal weight. You'll have better vacations & conferences because you'll walk all over the place. One day.
In the meantime, you're doing great. Imagine lugging 20 more pounds around. That's a decent-sized backpack. Which you have shrugged right off & thrown to the ground for good, due to your efforts. Go, you!
What's so frustrating is that I can go like crazy on the elliptical and I'm bench pressing 100 pounds now. But I get out in real life and I'm a frigging brontosaurus. Ah real life, always the reality check.
I keep trying to remember that last summer I started out this way (I was in NYC for the whole summer.) I could barely climb the subway stairs. By the end, it was mostly no problem.
Then I came home to flatland and stopped walking. The gym just isn't the same..
I know exactly what you are talking about. I remember being in NY a couple of years ago with a friend and we had to walk a lot and I kept lagging and trying to pretend I wasn't panting, my feet hurt, I was sweaty. It was AWFUL.
I have one piece of advice for you: stick with your journey!!!
But last week, I had to go to a new city for an interview and I had to walk about blocks back and forth from the two interview sites several times. I was wearing a blazer and nice shoes. It was a muggy day.
And the whole time I did not sweat, didn't get sore feet, didn't get out of breath, walked fast, the whole nine yards.
I'm sorry you're miserable now-- but take heart in the fact that you have a choice and it DOES NOT HAVE to be that way.
In the meantime, I recommend picking and choosing your activities-- do enjoy yourself, but don't make yourself miserable.
Just keep reminding yourself, how much easier it will be next time you go!
I sympathize though, we went to a water park this winter. I was just about killing myself going up those steps. I just kept pushing myself, refused to stop and rest or pause in the middle of the steps. I was grateful when we got in longer lines, so I could get a break! LOL Wasn't about to let anyone see the fat lady not being able to keep up! LOL
I do know how you feel. When I'm in that situation, I create a cosy mental space for myself, telling myself that yes, this is grim but I'm sorting it. It's like holding a lovely secret: others might see a fatty, I KNOW that actually, I'm a successful slimmer, a butterfly waiting to emerge.
OK... if someone was at a conference and they had a sprained ankle, people would slow down for them when walking or even take a cab. Why should it not be the same for someone who is overweight? Since when are we not allowed to ask people to slow down for us?
If I am with someone who is elderly, obese, or has mobility problems like sore knees, etc. I always slow down to match their pace. I can walk slower but they can't walk faster. Why can't others do this? It is simply polite! Who made up these rules that the "fat person" has to keep up?
OK... if someone was at a conference and they had a sprained ankle, people would slow down for them when walking or even take a cab. Why should it not be the same for someone who is overweight? Since when are we not allowed to ask people to slow down for us?
If I am with someone who is elderly, obese, or has mobility problems like sore knees, etc. I always slow down to match their pace. I can walk slower but they can't walk faster. Why can't others do this? It is simply polite! Who made up these rules that the "fat person" has to keep up?
Jay
This.
I have been guilty of "playing up" my tendinitis, aggravating my limp so others can see it, so I have a medical reason (other than "simple" obesity) to lag behind. I feel like such a fraud (even though excess walking DOES aggravate the tendinitis a great deal). And if I push myself one day, I'm on pain killers for the next three days. It's not worth it any more.
What's so frustrating is that I can go like crazy on the elliptical and I'm bench pressing 100 pounds now. But I get out in real life and I'm a frigging brontosaurus. Ah real life, always the reality check.
I keep trying to remember that last summer I started out this way (I was in NYC for the whole summer.) I could barely climb the subway stairs. By the end, it was mostly no problem.
Then I came home to flatland and stopped walking. The gym just isn't the same..
I know what you mean about real life! I can't believe what I can do in the gym, but put me out in the real world and I'm a wimp! I can only work out in work out clothes. Do not ask me to sweat outside of my scheduled time. I thought that would go away with weight loss. And in a way, it has at least lessened. The heat does not bother me nearly as much as it used to, especially dry heat. But let's face it...I was not meant to be in areas of high humidity. I melt!
I think you have a great opportunity for looking back later. I actually suggest journaling about your adventures at this conference. Write a little letter to yourself to read back when you are at goal reminding yourself how far you've come. You'll be amazed in just the next 30 pounds what is so much easier for you. The one-erland mark is pretty miraculous at your height. (I'm 5'3.5" when I'm being honest. )
This happened to me at my highest weight. I had to walk around with my fit boss for a few miles no less, huffing, puffing, and sweating. I was so embarrased. It does get better though. I went to a similar conference recently and walked all over the place without huffing and puffing.
Please let another fat person be here..
I thought that would go away with weight loss. And in a way, it has at least lessened. The heat does not bother me nearly as much as it used to, especially dry heat. But let's face it...I was not meant to be in areas of high humidity. I melt! 
I actually suggest journaling about your adventures at this conference. Write a little letter to yourself to read back when you are at goal reminding yourself how far you've come. You'll be amazed in just the next 30 pounds what is so much easier for you. The one-erland mark is pretty miraculous at your height. 
