I'm feeling kind of weird about my body lately. There are all of these bits of me that I never really had before - okay, I had them, but they were never visible or touchable. It should feel awesome, because this is part of what I've been working toward, right? But instead, it just feels weird. Every time I touch my collarbone or feel the bumps in my spine it freaks me out a little. They don't feel like pieces of me; they don't feel like they belong in my body. This is the body I've always had, but it's slowly becoming unfamiliar, and that's leaving me feeling increasingly unsteady. It's like I can't trust my body to be what I expect it to be, and I have 50ish more pounds to lose and I know the changes are just going to get more intense.
Did anybody else have adjustment issues? Did you do anything special to help you get through it? How long did it last?
I'm completely unfamiliar to myself. The first time I glimpsed my wrist bone in the mirror I nearly screamed. From fright. I was briefly convinced I had wrist cancer.
I don't have any advice to offer you about the issues as they're ongoing with me. Time I guess, it will take time. My body is unfamiliar terrain right now, becoming more so with every pound that drops.
I think the weightlifting helps me a bit as I expect great changes from that. I actively work on developing my body, so I look for changes in my muscles and observe myself more. Weight lifting also results in my spending more time in front of the mirror, which helps a bit to realize myself. I like any excuse to preen in front of the mirror, even if it's flexing rather than making odd pouty sexy faces.
Oh yes, this is an adjustment that takes TIME...you've got all of these weird parts popping out, it starts hurting when you sit on stiff chairs or for too long on something hard, and if you're like me, your significant other starts complaining about you being "pokey" when you hug.
Everything mellows out eventually. I sometimes comforted myself that THIS was the real me all along, and all of that FAT (which I had to start thinking of as FOREIGN, not really a part of me) was hiding it. Try making that switch and see if it helps!
Yeah. I'd say most of hte time I really celebrated getting to see those parts of me that were hidden (I remember calling a friend in tears because I had cheekbones!). But sometimes I look - or more often *feel* - something and it kinda freaks me out.
Last night I was lying in bed on my back with my hand across my tummy and I kept thinking - what's that hard spot there under my arm? Well, it was my hipbone. But it totally freaked me out for a little bit.
You do get used to it, and as Manda said, it really helps to think of those bits as the real you that was hidden by all that fat.
.
Last edited by PhotoChick; 12-05-2008 at 11:59 AM.
I sometimes comforted myself that THIS was the real me all along, and all of that FAT (which I had to start thinking of as FOREIGN, not really a part of me) was hiding it. Try making that switch and see if it helps!
I love that comment. I lay in bed most mornings and just feel the new me and thank the Creator for giving me this body. I know the reasons why I put on that fat "armor" and why now I have to put it down for my well being.
A co-worker commented that I was small! Nobody has ever done that in my life. I remember Mom buying me husky clothes from the Sears catalogue. It's a long journey and I am convinced that the positive things we do now will help in our maintenance.
It is weird isn't it? I'm noticing my knees a lot lately when I lie in bed. The bones hit each other, I don't even remember them ever doing that. They must have before I gained the weight, but I think I'm more sensitive now, and it's been so long I just don't remember. Hubby is having to learn to be a little more careful when he grabs me for a hug cuz I'm always complaining that he's too rough. He was the one that noticed that my body is more sensitive now. That weird bone between my ribs is the thing that really freaks me out.
Do you mean your xyphoid process, H8? Mine freaks me out. It is quite pronounced and protrudes in such a way I fear the slightest bump will break it off.
I alternate between thinking my anatomy is weird and thinking it is cool. It's mostly cool.
Last edited by midwife; 12-05-2008 at 02:11 PM.
Reason: typo
Midwife...Is that what it's called? It's that thing you don't want to break when you give someone the heimlech (however you spell that). I think mine sticks out more than it did before I had my first child. He really stretched my ribs out. I couldn't feel it anymore when I was at my high weight, so I kind of forgot about it. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed it.
I read an article once in a magazine written by a lady who used to be very overweight, I think it was in Women's Day (?) she writes about intuitive eating...She wrote about being kind to your body and being in touch with your body. The person we are doesn't stop at our shoulders. *Stick with me here, this really does relate to what you are writing about*
She suggested buying some very nice body lotion and being kind to ourselves every evening massaging our whole bodies with lotion before bed. Touching even the parts we hate (My saggy fat belly, for instance) She mentioned some of her client's (I think she's a psychologist, too) wouldn't look at themselves in mirrors...only from the shoulders up and had no idea what their bodies looked like. It was almost if we hate our bodies so much we deny they exist.
She tied this denial to not embracing the changes when we lose weight. Losing 100lbs and still feeling like the fat girl. I'm wondering if you did something like this if it would help to recognized (I know you *know* they are you in your head) the odd bumps as parts of the whole beautiful you?
Best of luck. I hope to have this issue soon! I do remember once about 15 years ago, losing 70lbs and freaking out when I felt my hipbone poking out. I thought it was a tumor. TWO tumors!! I had one on each side. My husband at the time reminded me that I had those very same bumps when he first met me when I was a thinnish teenager. I remember just being amazed at how hard those pointy bones were!! I'd been covered in fat so long, I forgot there was a skeleton inside. LOL Silly!!
I have pokey hips now too and are loving them. Yesterday I had on a firm fitting T-Shirt and my panties when I was putting on my make-up. As I turned to the side my peripheral vision caught a glimpse of a stranger. I quickly realized that was MY body. I still feel like the fat girl though and that's a completely honest statement.
This sort of thing doesn't horrify me at all--it delights me! I'm a physical therapy assistant, so I've got immediate identification of my "pokey parts". Clavicle--check! Olecranon process--check! Acromion--check! My bones delight me, and I can spend hours (okay, minutes at least) tracing the paths of my muscles and tendons.
I can't *wait* to finally have my PSIS (posterior superior iliac spine) dimples pop out. Those are the little dimples thin people get, one on each side at the top of their tailbone. I will be dancing around the room and probably taking more than one slightly-unsafe-for-work picture!!
Learn about the body. It's fascinating and magical. Just go to the store and find a good book. DK (Dorling Kindersley, sorry if that's spelled wrong) make a FANTASTIC anatomy book that's detailed but not overwhelming. Hopefully you can start to embrace the magic that is your beautiful body.
I was sitting here thinking "I don't think I have had any moments like that" & then I remembered this morning!!
I was in the shower & ran my hands over my butt & it doesn't feel right. It felt like it wasn't mine. It's cute & round, not saggy anymore & it's great, but it does feel strange. I'm excited about the changes though. It means things are working - be so proud of yourself that you are doing the things to change your body! Congratulations!
Body changes weirdness
