By getting to the root of why you overeat in the first place! "Why Weight," written by Geneen Roth, is a non-diet book that contains exercises designed to help compulsive eaters learn how to stop using food as a substitute for handling difficult emotions or situations. You'll also learn how to enjoy eating and still lose weight naturally. This program offers reassuring guidelines on:
-- kicking the scale-watching habit forever
-- learning to say no
-- discovering other pleasures besides food
-- learning the difference between physical and emotional hunger
-- listening to and trusting your body's hunger and fullness signals
Each week at least one exercise will be posted; participants will be encouraged to share their answers, thoughts, etc. pertaining to the particular exercise. Snippets from Geneen's other books may be posted from time to time as well. She's a great writer and I encourage you to look into her books (and burn all your other "diet" books in the bathtub.
I will leave this one on for the next two weeks. With Christmas I know we are all busy.
Exercise 20: Remembering Diets
Make a list of all the diets you have been on, beginning with the early ones and finishing with the latest diets you have tried.
Be specific:
What did you eat on those diets?
Did you lose weight?
For how long?
How much weight did you gain when you went off the diet?
Diet #1
Diet #2
Diet #3
Diet #4
Look over your list. Congratulate yourself on the amount of willpower it took to go on all these diets. Notice the weight you gained by going on diets.
Ask youself: If diets work, why did I need to no on so many of them?
Thanks, LLB, for your kind words on the previous thread and for posting this interesting question. I tried making a list of all the "diets" I've been on, but it was too long!
That's the actual truth. I've always been on a "diet" ... but, again, semantics may be getting in my way here, because what I consider a "diet" ... eating less calories and exercising more ... does actually work well for me, when applied consistently. In all cases, I've thrived when doing those two things and gotten heavy and out-of-shape when I didn't. So in that sense, I'd have to dispute the underlying warrant here that one necessarily gains weight by "dieting."
But what I think Roth's "non-diet" approach means by "diet" is the short-term mentality of a period of stoic deprivation or manipulated food plan followed by being "off the diet" ... a period in which one regains the weight one just lost when "on the diet" and more.
In that category, there's the three years or so I bought into a popular misconception that "calories don't count" and "if you count fat grams, you don't need to worry about calories." I gained a ton of weight doing that but wasn't aware of it because I also followed the popular advice to "throw away the scale." (I agree with Roth that scale-watching can be a bad habit, but for me it's a good habit).
Another harebrained "diet" thought I bought into for awhile was basically an eating disorder. I learned early in my teens that you could eat tons of food and then just get rid of it. This led to a period of bullemia, which oddly enough I thought was a healthy and practical attitude toward eating.
After that, I "dieted" for awhile by the method I still advocate, cutting calories. But I didn't so much cut as slash. I didn't exercise and my metabolism slowed down, so I decided to eat even less. Pretty soon I was starving and malnourished and diagnosed with another eating disorder (anorexia nervosa).
Another time, a doctor convinced me to go on a diabetic exchange program because my blood sugar was out of whack. I lost weight and felt great (guess I should take a look at that plan again). I only gained the weight back when I stopped following the program.
I often drink Slimfast but only because I like it, not because I think it's part of a "diet." For me, it's a liquid candy bar with vitamins.
I've never tried Atkins, The Zone, food combining, Sugar Busters, Weight Watchers, Pritikin, Optifast, Deal-A-Meal, Food Mover, LA Weight Loss, Larry North, or ... the list goes on. I've got heavy opinions on all of these plans, some nice and some not so nice, but I'll spare you.
"It's a quarter to three and there's no one in the place, except you and me. So set 'em up, Sam ... " words to that effect. Actually, it's a quarter after eight and Casablanca this ain't and Bogey has left the building, more's the pity.
Hi, Crone I guess you and I will have to hold down this fort.
With all the Christmas things going on and trying to get ready to plan dinner for Christmas day I haven't been much at posting myself.
How are you doing? My Mom died on Nov 29th which is close enough to the holidays to have put a damper on them for me for many years. I was 18 when she died and wonder sometimes how my life would be different if she had lived. I still have my Dad but he is in a nursing home now which is a whole different set of things to deal with. I don't want to make you sadder but wanted to let you know I think of you and the loss of your Mother.
Diets: well I haven't been on many since I gained all this weight because I hate them, don't believe they work and was embarrassed to admit I was on one. Let's see I did try Weight Watchers twice but didn't make much progress there so here I sit trying to analyze this weight away.
Hi, LLB! I'm fine but a little rocky tonight, just staring at the computer screen. Contemplating getting dressed again and going out for ice cream or candy, but know that I won't. Just thinking about it.
You don't make me sadder, and in fact I'm not really sad about my mom, as I had come to a place of acceptance about her situation. The service today was hard though. I did not feel like being around my relatives and left as soon as possible. I feel sad for you, though. It must have been hard to lose your mother so early in life, but it's great you still have your dad.
Life is never easy, is it? But it's important, IMO, to take care of our bodies no matter what happens.
Hmmm, LLB, in all honesty, I don't think we can analyze weight away. We can analyze our thoughts and attitudes that contribute to our overeating and underexercising, if we are overeating and underexercising, but IMO it takes definitive action to remove and/or maintain weight. I think any program, including the "nondiet approach," will work if we work at it.
Sorry if I sound preachy. It's a failing of mine that is more pronounced the older (and more tired) I become. Ice cream would help, but ...
I, if I interrupt what you are saying correctly, think that the Non-Diet Approach is good but I find I need some structured way of eating. Maybe I have been living in denial too long and just need help getting a grip.
I really don't know what "diet" to go with. I tend to think the counting calorie thing would be the best for me. I too like SlimFast for a quick meal and I like the eating more protein but don't like following the plans - maybe I have just gone crazy - Anyway, counting calories seems to cover anything my mind goes too. I can eat SlimFast if I so choose, or all protein, or all fruit, or peanut butter toast - just count it. Okay, you have convinced me!!!
I also do not exercise at the present time. I have to get back into that also. Geez I have a lot to do!!!
I found out last night my Aunt is close to death. I just lost a good friend a week ago and now this. Hate it...I know it's life but I still hate it.
Guess my point is that IMHO (not really so humble), whatever "approach" or "program" we are on, it comes down to (IMO), a calorie is a calorie, calories in, calories out. Whether we eat it in protein, fats or carbs, to me, that's the bottom line, so for me it makes sense to just count the calories. For me that is the "non-diet" approach, because it is a simple fact of nature. I'd like to get to a place where I do this without journaling or weighing (as Roth advocates), but I'm a long way from that.
In days of yore, the intrepid cavewomen didn't need to worry too much about how many calories she ingested in a day. There was all that hunting and gathering to do. But my idea of hunting is writing a story proposal and emailing it to an editor. My idea of gathering is going shopping. So I can't eat the caloric equivalant of a woolly mammoth every day!
There are other healthy reasons to limit our consumption of, say, saturated fat, refined sugar, etc., but calorically, I can lose weight on cookies and ice cream if I like (I DIDN'T go get the IC!) I like to eat a bit more protein than the nutritionists recommend because I feel better that way. But (again, only my opinion and not to offend anyone who swears by these plans), I believe the reason the high protein "diets" work is they at first release a lot of water and effect a metabolic change, then later become so boring that one naturally limits calories without being aware of it. (The Zone, which is a reasonable if skimpy "diet", is so low in calories if you follow it religiously, that you couldn't help but lose weight).
Anyway, sorry to pontificate! I guess in a sense I'm like Ophrah's Dr. Phil in that I think, as far as weight management goes, I need to stay "real."
I don't think you have gone crazy, LLB! Your eating habits sound much like mine and I know I'm sane (I think!).
I'm very sorry to hear about your aunt and your friend. Some things are just really hard to accept and come to terms with, but sooner or later, I hope to make sense of it all. Not today, though.
About 2PM my 15 year old niece had a seizure and stopped breathing. They took her to Appleton, 6 miles away, and they said she needed a CATSCAN so at 3PM I drove her and her Mom to Willmar, 45 miles away. I was worried because we were to have a huge snow storm but we didn't run into snow until right outside of Willmar. We were only there maybe a half an hour and then took her to Appleton where she is spending the night on antibiotics and benzedryl. They said the CATSCAN showed some serious sinus infection.
I think I will search the WEB for some information.
Just seems scary over a sinus infection to have her eyes roll back in head and for her to stop breathing. But then, I don't know much about it.
I'm about to go into non-posting mode for awhile and hope everyone who celebrates Christmas finds the holiday everything that they desire.
LLB: Here's hoping the news this morning is good regarding your niece. That was indeed a frightening experience. I do know that sinus infections can sometimes become quite serious, especially for a young person.
Please remember that you are important, too, and the state of your health and happiness impacts others. I hope that to whatever degree weight loss and/or maintenance affects your well-being, the new year brings you whatever balance you seek in that area.
Well, LLB and Crone, you two have certainly been keeping the thread going!
I have read and re-read the posts and the reason I overeat is mainly emotional and spiritual bankruptcy. I keep looking for that "numb" feeling from eating too much ice cream or sugar or whatever, and seem to go into a sort of blackout. When I come to my senses, the two-pound bag of M&Ms is gone and my stomach is sour and acidic from all the sugar. My wanting to overeat is tied to a feeling of lack. As though if I don't stuff myself now, there won't be any food later. Or worse, I'll have to eat in FRONT of someone else and they'll see how out of control I am.
I know it makes no sense. To my intellectual side, it makes no sense. To my emotional side, it makes perfect sense. Go figure.
I need a food plan of some sort until I can develop new, healthy habits. The new habits gradually take over and before long, eating is no longer a hobby but a necessity. Food becomes fuel instead of pleasure.
The diets I've been on? Started at age 12 with the big pink pills that made me hyper and killed my appetite. Derision from my father, then bribes to lose weight (bless him, he was trying to help and in later years apologized for being so mean).
At 17 and 170 pounds, started Weight Watchers (the ORIGINAL program, which still works well for me). I lost about 35 pounds on it (in time for graduation) and being emotionally unprepared for the attention that attracted caused me to put all the weight back on -- plus 10 pounds.
From there, over the years, it's been counting calories (I know it works for some, not for me. I'm not that patient ) the Stillman Diet, Air Force Diet, two more tries at Weight Watchers (the programs got progressively more confusing), OA, high carb, low fat, Zone, Atkins (gained two pounds and stayed constipated), Mayo Clinic, laxatives, vegetarianism (I was vegan for several years), Carbo Addict's diet, Cabbage Soup Diet, Larry North, SugarBusters, Body For Life, etc. I gave each of these plans at least a month (with the exception of the cabbage soup -- I just couldn't face it! ) and the weight came off -- and back on, this time with additional pounds.
From that first trip with the diet pills at the age of 12, I've been slim twice, each for a period of three months or less. Then some emotional upheaval would make me run for the sugar to soothe my wounded ego. When stressed, I shut down; become lazy and depressed, disconnect mentally and feel sorry for myself. This happens when I become indulgent, using food for a stimulant.
Overeating then causes a loss of self-esteem and self-acceptance, which triggers the cycle of using food, particularly sweets, for self-nurturing. I tend to set unrealistic expectations of myself, then move into a pattern of self-doubt where I don't accept myself and compensate by setting unrealistic expectations for other people. Fun huh?
So that is how I went from 135 pounds to 285 in 30 years. And I'm here to root out the cause for the compulsion. I enjoy this thread so much because the lessons are hard, but they're helping me more than I can tell you. Lately, DH has been telling me that I dress like a bum. He bought me some clothes for Christmas that everyone likes but me. He made me feel ashamed and rejected and that hurt more than I can tell you. For me, feeling insecure is feeling powerless. I want to heal that.
Looking forward to a new year and new hope. It starts NOW for me!
This is an interesting thread, I would like to add my opinion.
I am pretty well convinced that I am overweight because, very simply, I like to eat. At any rate I have never been able to figure out any complicated underlying reasons. I've lived a pretty long life, I am comfortable in that life. I have been mostly content. I get along with most people. My husband doesn't bug me particularly. There have been sorrows in my life, but everyone has sorrows and the way to get through them is to accept them and go on. My church is important to me, my friends are important to me, my family is important to me. Life is good, I am happy. And yet I am, and have been forever, overweight.
At the beginning of the year 2000, which was a good time to begin anew, I purchased the Richard Simmons food mover and video set, and started eating properly and exercizing. It worked. I studied and learned much about food portions, the importance of exercise, the food pyramid and all that sort of good stuff. In about 9 months I went from 196.5 to 150. For a little over a year I have been maintaining with fair success.
As a result of the weight loss I have gone from being a medically controlled (glucophage & metaformin) diabetic to a diet controlled diabetic. I have also been able to reduce greatly the amount of meds that I was using for hypertension.
I do find that for me if I can keep my eating simple I do better. No complicated menus for me. I seldom try new recipes. I try to think about other things, any other things, rather than food. I do much better that way. I still like to eat, and food
still tastes good.
I would like to lose a few more lbs., but that may not happen. It hasn't happened for over a year now so I don't fret about it. I could say that I am not overweight, just undertall, and that would cause everyone to smile a bit, but it is not really helpful.
About other diets, I actually don't have much experience with them. I never could afford WW, never got involved with TOPS, Atkins and SB sound too complicated for me, etc. I know full well that calories count, exercise is important, and a happy mind helps in any endeavor.
The beginning of a New Year is a good time to restart anything, including diet attempts. I will be encouraging everyone to keep trying.
Thanks for giving me a chance to post my thoughts.
Claire I also have found I need a food plan or I eat something not so healthy for me and I slide down the slippery slope for days.
You hit home with me on the low self esteem and self acceptance (that one REALLY got me). I sometimes feel I get in control and then there is that slippery slope again.
Sorry your husband said things that hurt you but he probably thinks if you have nice clothes you will feel better. I know for me it doesn't really matter because nice, expensive clothes don't hide the fat - I still look awful. Plus I know, like you, this is an inside (mainly) job of fixing how I think.
JoJoJo2 So you found Richard Simmons food mover and video set worked for you....can you give my a short description? Just to see if I might like it. I seem to do better with the "simple" eating too. I end up going for some "treat" food if I make something and it tastes awful.
LLB, thanks so much for your kind words. DH DOES believe that I'll feel better about me with new clothes, but new clothes, no matter how great, don't hide the fat....so he arranged for me to have a complete makeover at Fashion Bug (don't know if you all have them, but they're great and they do makeovers for free, head to toe). No matter how thin I get, I can shop there. They carry sizes 2 to 32 I just have such an awful problem with self-acceptance and play the "if only" head game all too often. I'm grateful someone understands!
JoJoJo2, I also have a FoodMover and have been enjoying it. I have a Deal a Meal coming so I can compare the two. A TOPS friend has the Deal a Meal and she says it really helps her stay on track. I got my purchases through ebay -- prices are the lowest I've ever seen. I've also started using the videos, as they help me, make me laugh, and I can do it all in the comfort of my living room where no one sees my "flubber" going every direction!
You know you're really chubby when you stop during an exercise movement and a few seconds later, your fat catches up....
Also thrilled that your diabetes is under control. One little person in our office started taking glucophage and seems to be under the impression that she can eat anything and the medication will take care of it. NOT! Oh, well. She'll learn, I guess.
Have a fab-o evening, all. I can't wait for the next exercise....
The Non-Diet Approach - 12/18/01
- Anyway, counting calories seems to cover anything my mind goes too. I can eat SlimFast if I so choose, or all protein, or all fruit, or peanut butter toast - just count it. Okay, you have convinced me!!! 
Long week!
) the Stillman Diet, Air Force Diet, two more tries at Weight Watchers (the programs got progressively more confusing), OA, high carb, low fat, Zone, Atkins (gained two pounds and stayed constipated), Mayo Clinic, laxatives, vegetarianism (I was vegan for several years), Carbo Addict's diet, Cabbage Soup Diet, Larry North, SugarBusters, Body For Life, etc. I gave each of these plans at least a month (with the exception of the cabbage soup -- I just couldn't face it! 
Me, too!
