sam- Yah i was taking b12 gummy vitamins but im paranoid about the sugars in them now that ive gone low carb..Liquid drops mght be an idea..a good one..

Well just checking in to say goodnight. Long day and accomplished..not much. I didnt make it to the pool but forced myself to hit the treadmill and do a 15 minute HIIT sprint workout. Felt like i could puke and pass out all at the same time at the end..my heart as pounding. Made a great salad tonight out of chopped cucumber, diced red onion and tzittki dressing...was good.. I also had a garden salad tonight for snack..Its strangecaving salad at night..usually i crave junk food.

Anywho..toodaloo..night all

Hello my lovely chickens.
Well ...guess what??......another chest infection and exacerbation of my asthma! Yep. I had a few days of feeling better after 2 weeks of IV antibiotics over Christmas. Then got some sort of viral flu thing....and now I am back to wheezing and rattling like an old kettle!! I ended up at my GP's at 5.45 last night as I was so short of breath. She was lovely and thorough. I don't feel too bad in myself, just short of breath when I am walking around and it feels like I am doing everything with a rucksack full of stones on my back. Still...tempted though I was to go back to bed this morning, I met up with a friend and we took one of the dogs(the best behaved!) to a lovely beach about a 45 minute drive away. I can't say that I walked far but at least I was out and about. Helped my mood too.
Tootsieroll....it is so lovely to see you back on the boards ( had a time out myself!) I am so sorry you have been through such a nightmare with your relative. I was abused by a family member over a period of about 6 years as a teenager, and I knew that if I had told my Mum she would have either not believed me or played it down. I didn't tell my auntie until a few years ago and her reaction was " Oh it was a long time ago and I am sure it wasn't that bad". It never ceases to amaze me some people's attitudes towards abuse within their family but if it makes you feel any better you are absolutely not alone in your experience. You have been through a difficult time so please try to be kind to yourself....the weight issue is important ...of course it is but try to quieten the punitive voice in your head that tells you what you "should/ought/must do"
Porthardygurl...your posts make me smile because people think that I live in an isolated area because my village doesn't have a pub or shop and is surrounded by fields of sheep. As for a 3 hour round trip to go shopping!!! Most people in Britain would find that unacceptable...apart from perhaps the wilds of Scotland! You must be made of much tougher stuff! What sort of weather do you get?
Speaking of weather....Fi ...have you got severe weather where you are? How is everybody else? I am sorry if my US geography is a bit confused! Anyway....if you are affected. please take care and wrap up warm.
I had an interesting chat with the friend I saw this morning about acceptance. She has had breast cancer twice so knows a thing or two about physical difficulties. She pointed out that I am always trying to "overcome" my physical health problems....mostly my chest but partly my joint problems.....and approaching it like people climb mountains. I am not sure if anybody knows much about Mindfulness, but I think I am right in saying that it talks about accepting what is going on in your mind or body instead of wasting energy FIGHTING it all the time. I think she is on to something as I constantly try to overcompensate, ignore or work against myself when my chest is bad. In my head I am going back to work in 9 months time but as my health is now, that would be impossible. So may it be better for me to accept my limitations and promote a more general self- acceptance in other areas...ie weight? I don't mean giving up on losing weight....I mean not trying so blinking hard and taking 2 steps forward and three steps back? I would love your opinions.
God Bless my lovelies.

Hey Mountain

We get looooooots of rain. We are one of the rainiest communities on the island. Some people like to joke around with us and ask if we canoe to work. Somtimes it rains so much, canoeing might not be a bad idea! Sorry to hear your sick again. No fun! My 5 yr old DD was taken to the medical clinic cause she had a temp of 103F or 40C. Turns out she has a virus of sorts that cause a really high fever.

Well hello everyone.. Im up early today..cant sleep. Yesterday i did my first bout of exercise- a HIIT session on the treadmill for 15 minutes and i guess i didnt stretch enough cause i was so sore and stiff i couldnt get comfortable all night. So i had a crappy crappy sleep. I plan on going to the pool today to warm up my muscles in the hot tub before i head ito the lap pool for some laps.

I must confess i want to throw my scale out the front door or smash it with a hammer. I have been good on this diet..the best actually. I have not cheated once! Yesterday i jumped on my scale and lost .4 Half of that loss was the .2 i supposedly gained 2 days ago and then the other half was just another .2 So today i weigh myself and my scale has gone back up .4 !!!!!!!
I am losing and gaining the same .4 and its just maddening!! Especially since i did exercise yesterday and made sure not to go over my calories or carbs!!! Urghh! I swear i lost weight faster just doing low fat low calories.. Low carb seems slooooow. I promised i would do low carb for 30 days and if it worked out better then what i was doing before, then i would continue and if not, i would stop but only after day 30. So..i have about a week and a half left of this. First 2 weeks were great rate... i lost 11 pounds.and now nothing.

Grrrr!!!

Hope everyone is having a better start then me scale wise.

It's 9 AM and foggy and rainy -- perfect day to stay inside and get some things done.

Boy, you miss a day and lots happens! Great reading everyone's posts.

Ubee -- First, it will come off. Sam's side-by-side (sounds like a refrigerator ad!) picture helps me, too. I have to admit that knowing I'm going to go on this trip has given me some much needed will power. So, do you have something that you desperately want to do but can't do it easily now? Use that as a goal and a reward. And, yes, I am in "training" although a fitness coach would probably be on the floor laughing at the routine I've set up for myself. I'm working on slowly increasing what I can do and starting in March it will include walking outside as well as walking on the treadmill. Eventually, I want to be able to walk to the gym and back home. Keep asking me how the training is coming so that I stick with it!

Sam -- Ask and ye shall receive! So glad that Fi is being so generous with you as the delight just came through in your writing. Hope you're inside safe and sound while the big one (that's the storm) works it's way up the Eastern seaboard. I'm with Ubee........be very careful about being able to work from home. It can be a time saver in some ways but I speak from experience in saying that it can devour an entire weekend before you know it. How about setting a time limit for how much work you do?

Calda -- Great job for signing up for the gym AND doing a challenge. Way to go. I'm extra impressed that you enjoyed it. Joyful exercise is still an oxymoron for me.

Donna -- Sounds like you have had a wonderful few days lately. It's so good to hear you reconnecting with friends and family after being forced to ignore them. And sticking to taking your walk -- good for you. Love the way you're turning your life around.

Tootsie -- You absolutely did the right thing. I would be eternally grateful to you if my child had been involved. Good news on the new job. Bad news on the sprained ankle. And wanting to live and be mobile is a great reason for changing our eating habits. You sound as though you're still beating yourself up. Don't know if it helps, but I have great admiration for people who risk so much to do the right thing especially where abuse is involved.

Porthardygurl -- The tiredness might be from adjusting to the low carb diet plan. I remember reading that one of the transition phases involves feeling extremely tired until your body adjusts. Your trip down island sounds like it was fun. Do you take the ferry over to the mainland ever?

Fi -- Whoops. I almost missed you. Hope you're enjoying the snow as it looks like DC area is getting walloped. If the power goes out, what a great excuse to cuddle with Bob and the kitties. Interrupted sleep can put anyone off their game. Glad the new exercises are helping.

Not a lot planned for today. I'm going to talk with my friend in NC with whom I chat almost every weekend, fix lunch and then straighten up the house. The work men are coming Monday to install the AC in the house. I thought I'd beat the summer rush on getting that done! Tomorrow I'm going to finish up the web site updates and event notifications for the Lions Club arts festival. Somewhere in there, I'll go to the basement and walk on my treadmill after I clear off the cobwebs and make sure it still works!

Hope everyone has a great day and for those of us caught in the big storm, stay warm and safe. Actually, hope everyone stays warm and safe, storm or no storm.

It's a world of white out there! I tried to find an precise report on how much snow we've gotten, but all I could find is the rather vague estimate of 18"-24". I did read that last night the snow was falling at a rate of 1"-3" an hour—whoa!

Bob is going to venture out later and make a stab at clearing our driveway, but other than that, we're just hangin' out with the kitties. So far no power outages—that's a relief.

I'm enjoying the hush that a big snowfall brings. Usually we can hear the DC Beltway from our house: today that sound is much diminished. And then tomorrow they're predicting will be clear and sunny—great daylight for making art!

Speaking of which, here's my latest. (Click on the collage for a larger version.) This week the theme on the Kollage Kit is "Abstracts." Yay! A few other people have commented on how it's nice to have the challenge, because making abstract collages is "way outside their comfort zone." That's not true for me at all! I love abstracts, and I'm going more and more in that direction.

I'm too pooped right now to do personals, but I'm appreciating all the positive vibes going around our community. Get well soon, Donna!!

Hello Everyone!
Fi thanks for the weather update. I have been thinking of you and hoping you were enjoying natures gift. So, I clicked on your collage. I think I need to see a shrink. To me it was immediately an ink block test. I saw a little girl, kittens feet, tongue ... Thank you for sharing your story about not caring and then hitting 50 and starting to care. I am pretty much in that boat. I just need the motivation/committment.
Betsy why do you have to wait until March to walk outside? Rain? You do know by getting AC the only nice warm days will be while you are away in Alaska? You just jinxed it for everyone hoping for a warm summer. You have hit the nail on the head. I don't have any goals or events to work towards. I will give it some thought and get back to you.
Porthardygurl that scale can be the devil! Maybe try weighing less often. I do best when I weigh once a week. Sam will tell you to make sure and take measurements because the scale is only one way to see results. I like taking pictures along the way to look back on. What kind of diet did they tell you to follow after your lap band surgery?
OOH Donna! I love it when someone asks my opinion! I feel there is a fine line between giving up on things and self acceptance. If we listen to our soul we will find the truth. For me I accept that I am aging and I like my silver gray hair. I even get compliments on it. I accept that I will always be plump. I do not accept the belief that I can not get and stay below 250. Also when defining acceptance a guide should always be if it is a healthy choice. It is healthy to eat well and exercise. It is not healthy to beat ourselves up about it and stress over it.
Sam I wish I could bottle up your energy and love and sprinkle it on my head everyday. You have been through so much yet you are so alive.
tootsie i just have to chime in on what you have read about men no longer being attracted to women your age. How old are you? 243? Bob is still crazy about Fi. Betsy is still turning heads. I am over 50, very large and men still flirt with me. The men at the pool are always taking a peek at Donna in her swim suit. Let's face it we are a bunch of hot mature women. Not saying we need any mans approval. Confidence and a smile can do wonders for men and women. Sorry just had to get that off my chest. tootsie you are a good person, be kind and loving to yourself.
Hi Terra and caldawg!

I was doing well with food until this afternoon. I did go to an old mall with my family. It only has one store left and the whole middle is for walkers. It was a nice family outing. I do feel my weight loss attitude is much more positive then it has been for a long time.
Stay healthy!

Hey Ubee

I didnt have lap band surgery. I had 80% of my stomach removed. Its called a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. Its where they cut out 80% of the greater curvature of your stomach(not intestines) and then they sew whats remaining together. My stomach is shaped like a bananna, slender and long. Tiny compared to a normal persons stomach. They had me on a diet that was low carb, high protein and didnt keep track of cals. I am now doing low carb, moderate protein and low cal with real food as opposed to drinking those nasty protein shakes before and after surgery.

I dont know..i have scale paranoia..and carb paranoia.. For example..my water flavour enhancer is 1cb per 1/2 tsp. So i measure out 4 servings before sticking it in my litre water bottle. I love it cause its not made with splenda but fruit juice concentrate hence the carbs but even still im paranoid aout drinking all the water i want knowing there is fructose i could be ingesting. Maybe thats my issue ⚠..maybe im not drinking enough water... Huh! Well i have issues drinking water cause i cant drink water plain..it makes me sick..has since surgery..it has to do with the water molecules not being displaced..so it makes me nauseous..but if i put somthing in it to displace the water molecules..it goe down easier and i dont feel sick after.

Maybe i need to go back to the store and shop for a splenda based water flavour

Well i ended the day today waaaay under calories today. I had 14 Net carbs but my calories totalled 650 today. Exercise seems to kill the appetite!

Thanks for the support, ladies. You'd think that I'd feel great about doing the right thing, but the girls only had their worst fears confirmed, i.e., my mother and other family members supporting their abuser. Then he only gets a year. At least he shoudn't have access to them anymore.

I'm beating myself up as using food as a crutch. I emotionally ate until I regained the 35 pounds that I lost last year.

I lost 6 pounds over the last couple of days. I don't recommend the way that I did it, though. Friday evening/early morning Saturday, I started vomiting. It started with my daughter, then my youngest son, then my spouse and my eldest child, then me. My spouse was worried yesterday because I didn't eat or drink. I'm drinking water today, very slowly. I had a little Gatorade as well. I'm still not hungry. It's messed up that I see this as a good thing: pounds lost, no matter the cost.

Port: Be careful about being too worried about carbs. Fruit/Veggie carbs are necessary. I just watched a documentary about a lady who had a gastric bypass. She lost a lot of weight. She went too far in the other direction about her eating habits and ended up passing away.

SUN!!!! There's this weird coloration in the sky. It's blue. Oh wait, this is what summer looks like. I remember now. That means that a) they'll close all the passes to do avalanche control (which is better than not closing them and having the snow bury the cars!) and b) every out-of-shape nut in the Seattle area will try to go snow shoeing and the rangers will probably have to rescue someone. For me it means I can dump my compost bucket from the kitchen onto the compost pile -- it's beginning to get to the ick stage.

Fi -- Glad that you and Bob came through the big storm with power and peace. Hope Bob takes the shoveling a little at a time. I LOVE this collage. I'm like Ubee and saw lots of different things, but mine were more focused on the tadpoles (yep, I saw tadpoles......or sperm).

Ubee -- I'm waiting until March for outside walking because I live in the mountains and I need to work up to up hill and down hill walking. And because if we're being truthful, right now I can only walk about 10 feet. I need to do some training and work my way up to longer distances. I'm sure hoping that getting AC will assure a cooler summer than last year's. We start griping about "hot" weather when it hits 80. We had weeks in the 90s. I've become a NW weather wimp.

Porthardygurl -- Ouch. Your description of your surgery made my tummy hurt. I totally understand about the carb paranoia, but Tootsie has some good advice on also taking care of what your body needs. I weigh every day, too. I could put the scale on Mars, and I'd find a way to weigh every day.

Tootsie -- Hope you're feeling better. I had a version of what you had in December. Unfortunately, once I could rehydrate most of it came back. Don't beat yourself up. Yes, you regained. I regained 40. Ubee is fighting the same battle. I look on it as a victory because for the first time in my adult life I caught myself before I gained even more. My previous pattern has been to regain my total loss and then throw on some more. Love yourself, Tootsie. If we don't love ourselves, how can we expect others to?

Donna -- Hope you're feeling better. The next time you go to the doctor, you might ask him/her if the mold in your house could be causing the issues. Don't know if you have insurance on your house, but mold treatment is covered on my homeowner's policy. Just a thought.

Hi Terra, Calda, and Sam. Miss you guys.

Not surprisingly the cleaning didn't get done yesterday because I was able to find a way to procrastinate on doing it. I did get more of the listings done for the Arts Festival. I'm through the Ps now on the list of newspapers in the state. Ugh.

Time for me to get it in gear. Hope everyone has a great day.

It's clear and sunny today, just as promised. All that white, reflecting the sun...amazing light!

I think I may be on a roll with these abstracts. The one I made this morning is called big white K.

But I'm frustrated with my body—how much pain I'm in. I just finished reading this book: The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain by John E. Sarno, M.D. Sarno says that the pain of syndromes like fibromyalgia—that's what my chronic pain doc says I have—is due to bottled-up rage. I need to ponder that. I certainly do have a lot to be angry about—my abusive parents were the beginning, and now I'm in a wheelchair 'cause of what my psych meds did to me. Sarno says that once his patients realize their pain originates in their minds, and that there's nothing wrong with their bodies, they just sort of magically get well. I don't get it.

Oh well... strange to say, I wish I had some cookies. I haven't been visited by that craving in quite some time. I guess my inner child is upset and wants something to soothe her. I guess it's a good thing that I can't walk and I can't drive, because there's no way I can be a cookie monster today.

Maybe I'll have some muesli... sugar-free muesli with cream and stevia. I'm supposed to have some every day, to keep from getting depressed on the Dr. Atkins induction diet.

Whatever...

Hi Everyone.
Fi I like how the red paint on your collage looks 3D. I would be skeptical of the latest book you are reading. Having someone tell me all my pain was in my head would drive me to the land of sweets also. Do you know why some people get depressed on the Dr. Atkins induction?
Betsy you saw sperm? OK you win. You need the shrink more then me. 10 feet is a good start. I'll keep kicking your butt to get you going further. Hate to break it to you but doing work to procrastinate doing other work just doesn't cut it. A true procrastinator would find something meaningless to do.
tootsie would you criticize Betsy or me for our regain? Please don't be so hard on yourself. Time to be your own best friend.
Porthardygurl thanks for explaining everything for me. I am very interested in W L Surgery. I never knew water digestion could be so complex. I find if I do "too well" one day the next day I go overboard on my eating. Does that happen to you? Sorry I ask a lot of questions.
Donna here is a crazy one from my world BUT whenever anyone starts getting sick I cut an unpeeled onion in half and put it on their nightstand until they feel better. This crazy lady swears by it. Give it a try. It will only cost you 1/2 an onion.
Hi Terra, Sam, caldawg, and everyone else!
I'm giving myself a gold star today. I was not a saint but I was about to throw in the towel and munch in front of the computer. After I got done yelling at my imaginary yapping dog I realized I was not hungry. I was tired and thirsty. For those who don't know my yapping dog is a visual of my sugar cravings I borrowed from Fi.
See you tomorrow.

Good afternoon everyone,

Tootsie- Yikes! Thats scary.. I have a phobia to vommiting. The very thought of each family member puking their guts out is bad enough. I think if my husband started puking, i would be packing my bags and going to a hotel...no seriously! The very experience of feeling nausiated for me causes me to pass out. Last time my daughter puked(not even in front of me..just told me she did) my husband almost called 911 cause my heart rate climbed so high and i almost passed out or had a cardiac arrest...it was bad... I feel so bad for you having to deal with it but am so happy to hear your doing a bit better already..just keep sipping fluids. ((hugs))

Fi- Its true about the anger and trauma contributing to chronic pain. I used to have fibromyalgia really bad..like couldnt move or get out of bed and get injections at the hospital-bad. I went to start seeing a counsellor and started dealing with the years of anger and sadness and grief that i had held onto for years and it made a HUGE difference. Even when i was studying 2nd year psychology, my textbook said they had done studies on the power of forgiveness and found that patients who practiced even thinking about forgiving someone wh hurt them, improved depression and chronic pain. So i believe it..hral the inside and your body will follow as they say.

Betsy..i laughed at your scale on mars. Its true..my husband even hid my scale once..i wanted it back so bad that i looked everywhere till i found it. I was so happy to have it back. I even take it with me on roadtrips. Even though im paranoid about losing and gaining, i know that in the past i have stopped looking at my scale daily and its during then that my eating and exercise went the opposite way. I started "not caring" cause i thought that as long as i fit in my pants i couldnt have gained weight...that is..until my pants are too snug and it happensquick. Doesnt take long to go from "im okay" to "omg my clothes dont fit".

Well..today i woke up happy happy happy. My scale moved down!! yay!!! Im now 228.2 I am a little under 3 pounds to go until ive finished losing the regain. Made me so happy. It also made me happy to fit into my 16s jeans that were too snug to wear a month ago. Today i went to the pool to use the hot tub..i am so cold and soooo stiff from my last workout. So i popped on my leisure suit and sat in the hot tub for 30 minutes!!! I felt so good afterward.. While i was there..i noticed 3 ladies in the big pool doing water walking These 3 women were beautiful but they were probably close to 400 pounds at least and short. I didnt want to stare but i kept looking at them and thinking "i am one of them. Thats where i came from..its where i started from. I used to be 320 pounds and i could barely walk around a block and these ladies are water walking because they(all of them) said they can barely walk around the block. I just wanted to scream from the rooftops that there is hope. That life can be different. I know i have only lost 93 pounds but man what a difference it makes being able to just walk and run and exercise and enjoy life more now then ever. I remember what it was like tobe without hope and feel like nothing could ever change.. I was so proud to see that they were doing more than i ever thought to do..They wernt feeling sorry for themselves, they were moving their bodies in a way that worked for them!

Anyway.. im sitting here..debating on wether to attempt making gluten free sugar free low carb baked donut holes. I made a test bach of the full gluten full sugar kind for my husband and i confess it was a close moment for me. I easily wanted to reach out and have that gluten sugar filled donut hole but i chose not to. It just proves to me that i walk a fine line when i put myself in the position of making them for others. It seems like its a no-no thing. So i will only make diet friendly food from now on..cause the temptation to want to cheat is too great.

Well..i best get on in my afternoon..

Take Care everyone..

I've read that if you're dehydrated, it can cause a lot of pain-all over the body. The reason is because the body has a great need for water. If you're larger, it's even more important. So, the pain is kind of like an alarm system. Being sick and not drinking a lot, I ached all over, but most of the pain was in my chest and head. I drank a bit of water and sips of Gatorade, and most of the pain has subsided.

Hi everybody and Happy Monday!
Well, the sky here is the colour of old Tupperware lids (remember Tupperware parties?) but tomorrow your snowstorm is visiting the UK....especially Wales where I live, only it has morphed in to a rain storm and gales.....for a change....sigh. OK I know snow isn't all is is cracked up to be but MORE rain????!! Darn that Jetstream.
So I managed to sing in church yesterday( I am in the worship band) but coughed for what seemed like hours yesterday. My chest is tight and rattly today but I feel OK in myself which I am guessing is down to the steroids! And of course the insomnia has kicked in!!
Fi...I loved your newest collage.......it has structure...even through a photograph is looks really tactile. I agree with Betsy...if somebody told me that my chest problems were all in my head( chinese medicine has a lot to say about asthma in Middle age) I would feel shortchanged.
Ubee...I am glad you are in a better place...does that mean generally or just weight loss?
Tootsie...I agree with you about the issue of swinging too far the other way with weight loss. Porthardygurl please be careful Hope you are feeling better Tootsie.
It was Welsh class today. Our usual teacher was away and the lady we had as a stand-in was....I am afraid to say...very much better. The usual teacher is on her honeymoon and although she is a native Welsh speaker, she hasn't been teaching for long and it shows. She is a lovely lady but hasn't developed the skill of pushing the class gently to get better. I am sitting an exam in June so I need all the improvement I can get!
Tonight I am aiming for a gentle swim...even though I might cough alot...because I know it helps Sam and I.
Have a lovely day,
Donna