Good morning ladies,

I think I may be in the start of my next whoosh. I can always tell when it's happening because I am constantly heading to the loo. As of this morning, I'm only 4 lbs. up from ticker. Let's hope I can get the 4 lbs. off plus some. I am really rocking the plan lately.

The speed dating event was ok, nothing too exciting. There wasn't anyone to feel overly excited about, although there are a few I'd have another look at if they feel the same way....just to make sure.

Xena: I thought about trying a BBW dating site, but a couple things scare me a bit about doing it. One, I am losing weight and plan to continue. Two, I don't want a chubby chaser. I don't want to be someone's fetish material, kwim?

Julia: Let me know if you buy the fit flops. I am definitely interested in buying some, and will as soon as I can.

Cyn: Woo hoo on meeting your exercise goal! Also, I know what a relief it is to receive normal blood results. I hold my breath every time, knowing that I have been playing with fire when it comes to my health.

Walrus: Five blocks is still five blocks of exercise. I give you a lot of credit for being committed and doing as much as you possibly can given your injury.

Luan: I'm glad you will have other supportive friends to cheer for you at graduation.

Debi: Oh, how I love when staying on plan is easy. I revel in it. I wish I could bottle whatever it is that makes the resolve strong and keeps the snackies away.

Julee: Woo hoo, and wow! 4.6 lbs.

Debbie: Good job keeping with the exercising. It's nice when the scale starts moving back down.

I love the pics you posted. Beautiful.

Lauren: You are right, today is a new day. You can do it. Don't worry about the personals. Do what you can.


Have a great day, everyone.

Debbie:

Yup it was boot camp. In the end even with his shenanigans Screech lost 20 lbs. It was Tina Yothers who won the first show she was on. She and Willie Ames were both really doing amazing and very competitive. But in his off time Willie was spending about 6 hours a day at the gym. Some people tried hard and lost a lot. Some people did nothing and lost very little. It was what it was...but thats what bugs me about all of those shows. The people are taken out of their real life situations and given every possible resource to use towards their goal. I guarantee you that if I were on a ranch for 6-8 weeks with a trainer and a full gym and all the time I needed to cook and prep and everything...I'd meet all of my goals as well. I want to see what people do who work full time, have a million other things come up and who have to do what they casn to the best of their own abilities to lose weight and tone up.

Quiet day at work for a chance....breathe in...breathe out.

Good afternoon all,

I seem kind of off this week. I know that I'm spending way too much time doing nothing at times. I've lost focus, although not on the food and the exercise. I think it's really just the change in the weather. I got used to what felt like late spring weather and now we're back to early spring weather (ie. this is what we should have about now although perhaps a little warmer).

I'm also spending precious 3FC time over on the biggest loser section, although I'm still reading here as well. In the end I don't seem to do much in the way of personals in either place though. We're back to the lack of focus issue I suppose. And today while on another board I post on I ended up a big depressed, crying, feeling sorry for myself, mess. It was nothing anyone said, it was just me, and my reaction to where I am in my weight loss. I don't know, even my ticker is depressing me today. Not on how far I've come, but on how far I have to go. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to drown my sorrows in (fill in your poison). I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed in general. It will pass.

So, the only personal is for Annie - I hope you end up with the job you want. Years ago (when I was in travel) I actually did work for someone for 2 or 3 weeks and then gave notice to move on to another job. Partly it was because he'd misrepresented the agency (much smaller than he made it out to be during a weekend (ie. office closed) interview). But mainly because sometimes you have to do what's best for you. So keep your options open, but if you need to hold onto the fallback job for a week or two, so be it. It's sad to say, but in the business world few people have your best interests at heart.

Take care everyone, and although I may be only flitting through over the next little while, I am reading, and wish you all the best!

Wow Anne you are so close to you 100 lb milestone! I am excited for you!

Xena: Okay, I was thinking you have 3 weeks off everything but having no school for 3 weeks will be amazing too!

Cyn: Good reports from the Dr. are always nice.

Walrus: Wow, what an amazing thing to be preparing for, a walk in Scotland!

Luan: So sorry you are hurt. My parents had a very ugly divorce and when it came time to graduation from high school my Dad said he would not be there if my mom is there and my mom said the same thing. I made the decision that I would be the one not there. Stupid kid thing to do and your friend is being a stupid kid so selfish. Hugs to you sweetie.

Julee: Woohoo to another -4.6 pounds. You are rockin it.

Debimitch: Hope you had a great day planting.

Debbie: Yup. It feels so great to have the house sparkling. Although my dogs coming in pretty much ends that immediately. lol.

Lauren: Hi there. Have fun at all of your events coming up.

Battle: Sorry there was no mister right at the dating event. I'm sure he will come when you least expect it.

Anne: I know exactly how you are feeling about looking at how much further you have to go instead of how far you have come. I remember when I was at 510 pounds last year and I would say to myself, I have 340 pounds to go to reach my goal weight and it seemed so huge, HUGE. Well, it goes by quicker than you think. Please be kind to yourself and congradulate yourself sweetie. You have almost lost 100 pounds! That is amazing. Not too many people can say they have lost 100 pounds. I think you should do something special for yourself. Take some time and reflect on how far you have come and yes you still have a ways to go but you are almost 100 pounds closer than you were before. Yeah Anne! Hugs.

Well, I went to the interview at the county and they offered me the job. I went to the car afterwards and felt like I was literally going to get sick to my stomach. I was praying for some kind of sign or something to help me decide and I really think that was it. I got all of the feelings I was having before in my prior job and how awful it was to have to deal with people that really didn't want to better themselves and just the depression involved and it all came upon me and I knew that I need to pass up this job at the county. I deserve, yes, I deserve to be happy. I have struggled for so long with depression and not feeling worthy that I now feel like I should care enough about myself to be happy when I go to work. I said a prayer and walked back up the stairs, didn't take the elevator, I asked to speak to the manager agian and told her that I respectfully decline the job offer. She was shocked and upset because she thinks I would be perfect but, I know I wouldn't be perfect. I know that I need a position that allows me the freedom to dream about going to school agian and possibly changing careers that I wouldn't do if I had such a stable job even if I hated it I don't think I would have quit it once I started working because of the benefits. So, I left and went to down town Coeur d' Alene for my next interview with Salvation Army. I was about an hour early after finding parking so I went to a cute restaurant and had breakfast. I went and brushed my teeth and headed to the next interview. I feel so happy, proud of myself and free that I didn't take the other job just because It had good benefits. It is not what I want to do for sure and I know I would have been unhappy. My interview with Salv. Army was nice. I felt free knowing I have a job starting tomorrow morning that could be the job of my dreams. It is good pay, good hours and possibly could work into permanent later on. The Salvation Army job doesn't start until a week or two so I have time to work at the other one starting tomorrow and see if I like it or not or even if Sal. Army offers me the job. Sky's the limit or rather, I'm the one who is limiting myself and I don't want to do that anymore. I have spent too many years putting a limit on my abilities and what I think I could do because of being too fat or too fearful to try. Okay, flapping over, I'm going to take my dogs for a nice long walk.

First day of work tomorrow.

Blessings all,
Annie

Anne, just wishing you happy thoughts and hope you are feeling better. Sometimes it is had to continue thinking about how much work is left, but I bet you feel better now then you did 96lbs ago. Focus on that and not the end goal. You're an inspiration for those of us just starting out (again).

Luan, sorry that you are facing such stress on such a momentous occassion. Maybe you're friend will "wake up" and see how immature she is being.

Does anyone else have to suffer through black fly season? They came out in full force today. Guess it is time for me to find my bug net (UGH, how I hate thee). I can't very well stop walking outside because of the bugs, but they make my excursions much less enjoyable.

Anne - sorry you're having a tough day. I have been there/done that. It seems nothing is the right thing to be said at the time so all I will say is "HUGS to you". I also had been posting on TBL thread and couldn't keep up and felt somewhat isolated so will read and post minimally there. It kinda threw me in to a tailspin actually.

Annie - I'm speechless - you are something else my friend. Pride is an understatement of what I feel for you right now.

Julee - great loss! It's such a wonderful feeling to be rewarded at the scale after all the hard work you've done.

Debbie - 70 pounds and a year - I'm so proud of you - both are a tremendous accomplishment.

Debi - hope you're ready - storms a brewin and sending it your way.

Battle - when you figure out how to bottle the sense of ease and control in this process - I'll take a case please. Hope things are settling for you.

Johnnie - I saw a little ole 2 in front of your 300 biggest loser WI - you think we're just gonna let that slide by. NO WAY!!!! GREAT JOB Johnnie!

I am passing on my exercise class tonight after another afternoon at the dentist. If you hear me say this again soon - KICK ME IN THE SEAT. The first time is always the hardest - just like the first bite of something that I can't handle.

Hope you are have a great evening. Hugs to everyone.

Carol

Annie-that feeling is called freedom. We are often weighed down with more than weight. The weight is a symptom. Once you commit to improve your life, and you start to shed the other things weighing us down, we find that the weight doesn't even seem to matter anymore. Living as healthy and as happy a life as we are capable of, is the only real goal I have anymore. You go for what you want and need, and trust that God will guide you.

Battleax, YAY for the whoosh!!! I hope you get past your ticker weight!!

Anne, I try not to even look at how far I have to go. If I did, I would probably be a bawling mess too. I hope you can get past the down in the dumps feelings. I think we all hit that wall once in a while. I'm just glad it hasn't affected your exercise and staying OP. Take care.

Annie, Have fun at the new job. I hope it's your dream job

Carol, enjoy your night off from exercising....but don't get used to it!! I'll be the first in line to kick your hiney if you keep that up!

I was going to read and post on TBL thread, but it got to be too much. So I'll just be posting once a week on the chat thread and keeping up here. I love this thread the most and don't want to miss out on anything that happens with you fine ladies. I do post on the menus and joined the exercise thread though for TBL. We're walking to North Carolina!!
toodles
Debbie

Hi all,

Well, I have been MIA for a while. I have been lurking, just couldn’t get into posting. Had friends come visit, then went to visit a friend, then my folks came. All of that while trying to work many many hours. We now know at work there will undoubtedly be lay-offs again this year. How many? A lot. When? Likely later in the year. Will it be me? Possibly. L So what have I done? I throw my hands up and eat like poo. No excuses, I haven’t been focusing. I know darn well that only I can hold myself to task, and I just am not doing it. I almost wrote incapable….but I am capable, I am just not choosing not to do it. So…I am trying to start over…again. I feellike a disappointment. To me. To my husband (he hasn’t voiced or insinuated it, but I just feel like I must be). Blah.

On to personals…

Battle – Congrats on speed dating and getting back to whoosing. I have been reading and see you are struggling. You seem at a crossroad (although admittedly I don’t know what that crossroad is). But, a crossroad is a crossroad. Makes life tricky. I am glad to hear you are moving on in the weight loss. Those 4 pounds will drop soon.

Debbie – You have really come so far. You and I both started on this around the same time. You have done really well, and I have faltered. I am happy for you, but wow it makes me feel like I have really wasted my life.

Xena – Nice to see you back. Your post really hit home. It’s hard. I am very impressed you are eating good food. I completely understand the guilt thing, and I am glad you are smarter than I am to understand it’s wasted guilt.

Annie – Congrats on the new job!! And getting your braces off. And the tons of weight lost. You are fabulous!!

Ratkitty – Looks like you are doing well. I am glad to see you back and hear things are getting more aligned.

Walrus – Thanks for doing the biggest loser thing. I am hoping that I can really see some loss per week.

Luan – Sorry to hear about your graduation drama. All I can say is do what you want and enjoy it. It’s yours. Due to my weight, I hate being looked at. I didn’t attend my college graduation even though I graduated with honors. My mom asked me if I didn’t actually graduate, and therefore why I didn’t want to attend. A bit of a tiff ensued, but I never told her, or anyone, it was due to being so fat that I don’t want to be acknowledged. My husband and I got married by a notary in a state other than where we lived. I always told people it was because I didn’t want to spend a lot of money and I hate pomp and circumstance. Partly true, I am cheap, and I don’t like ceremony, but that’s because I think of myself as a blob and not worth the money and don’t want people looking at me. I plan to stay married forever (so far, so good), so I have allowed my weight to have me miss two pretty big things in my life. No wedding cake. No wedding flowers. No wedding pictures. It was an event in the past, that really wasn’t an event at all. Sometimes I watch wedding shows on TV and wish it was me. My husband asks me if I wish we had a wedding and I say “heck no”. Well, heck yes is the real answer.

That knocked the wind out of my personals. Sorry for those that I didn’t address personally.

Take care and be well,
Angie

Angie - my wedding was similar. Location Mom's living room. His parents, mine parents, my 3 siblings and his 18 month old son. His twin brother & wife did come they had plans already that apparently could not be post poned 1 hour. And out witnesses. For me it was many similar issues. Some bad family dynamics, budget lack of, fear of having to chose a wedding dress that really did not compliment me, fatness (260lbs back then) etc. Some days I regret not having the big wedding. But others I dont. And we will be celebrating 10 yrs in October.

Carol: You always make me feel soooo special. Hugs. I promise to NAG you and kick you in the bootie if you miss too many exercise classes.

CAtherine: Thank you so much. I think you are such a wise lady and I really appreciate all the insite you always give. Glad to see you back. I was getting a tad worried.

Debbie: I'm impressed, walking to North Carolina? How far is that? That is super great.

Angie: Welcome back. Glad to see you. Hugs to you.

Well, walked for 50 minutes with dogs. I wore my older female dog out a bit. They will sleep good tonight. I just packed my exercise bag to take with me to work tomorrow. I don't want to have any excuses for not going to the gym. I belong to it and rarely go using so many excuses about gas money, too far, snowing, blah, blah, blah. Well, excuses over starting tomorrow. I have made a schedule for each day of may as far as it being a gym day or a Curves day. I get to go to Curves for free for the month of May thanks to Avon. So, Hopefully I will spend May getting the "Eye of the Tiger" back that I have been soooo missing in my working out since I had surgery. I just don't feel the push. I exercise a lot but not with the Yippee feeling I did before. I want that back. Now, I only have to pack a lunch for tomorrow and I'll be all set.

Hope you are all having a wonderful day. It was sunny today and that was lovely.

Blessings all,
Annie

Angie, good to see you back. BUT....you haven't wasted your life. Don't ever think that. It's just you haven't reached the point in your life that some of us have to really want to make the change in your life to be healthier. You WILL get there. Sometimes it just takes a while. Just you coming here and posting and telling us a bit of your life, is the first step. You can do this! We're all here for you, with open eyes and ears to help you as much as we can. The real work begins with you though. Only you can make the change to help yourself. Do you want to keep looking back on your life and see the things that you've missed or do you want to better your life and look ahead to participating in your life by becoming a healthier you? I hope you choose the latter.

Annie, actually the walk is starting from Washington D.C. It's one of the exercise incentives they have going on TBL challenge. It's 268 miles.

Speaking of missing exercise classes...my leg was super sore today, and my husband's allergies are just destroying him, so he canceled our yoga class I don't want to be a big whiner, but I'm really tired of having a broken leg!!! Its also really hard getting up about 3 hours earlier than usual two days a week for PT -- a morning person, I am not! But eating the chocolate tonight was my -- poor -- decision. Rats. I'm working on it...you all feel free to bust my butt about things like this, too

stopping in just to say a quick hi before work!

Yesterday morning (after falling asleep in the living room recliner with my legs propped up)......I had a charlie horse-leg cramp in my right leg....when I tried to lower the leg rest.....so I rubbed that one out and then tried again to put the leg rest down but, with my left leg....and I got another leg cramp in my left leg this time!!! BOY that is NOT the way I want to wake up!!!! LOL

I ate 2 bananas & took my potassium.....they have been sore since.....I did walk yesterday uphill pushing a wheelchair with a child in it......don't know if its lack of potassium or something else.....I haven't done any exercise prior to the leg cramps.....just really weird....not sure why it happened.

no time for personals....I have read them but I'm running short on time......know that those that need prayer, I'm praying......those that need a kick in the bottom........here is my shoe!!! And those that need a hug.......


Hope everyone has a great day!!!